RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

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  • Music:

And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness

(Look, folks, I have like eight hundred Dido lyrics I can and want to use, so with it.)

Oh, geeze. I still don't even know how I feel, besides BEATEN UP and/or ready to check myself into a hospital for exhaustion.  How many of you were here for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Incident?  It's gonna be like that for a little while, I think.

Mom distracted me from my obsessive end-of-JE-replaying by coming upstairs to watch Harper's Island with me, because I accidentally sold her on the show when I was raving about it after last week, and during commercials I related last week's hilarious Survivor tale about Coach in the Amazon.  The good news is that it still makes me laugh so hard I can barely get a full sentence out at a time. 

Then I came back here and stuffed myself full of every fic hippiebanana132 's written since then**, which helps a bundle - although I'm still in the market for a good canon-compliant post-ep; anyone want to link me up?  You've had much more time to search - but then I put in my Dido CD, and "See the Sun" is my default saddest song in the world.

[Edit: **OI, FANMIX!  I had forgotten about that!  I haven't listened to it yet because I am too bowled over by the fic accompanying it.  My post-ep needs are sufficiently taken care of.  But I could always use more.]

But!  Overall, I'm growing surprisingly okay with this?  Had myself a good cry, novelized every scene I could, am trying to stick to fluffy fic, have watched the whisper like 8,925 times because it is somehow more thrilling and vindicating to me than the kiss itself, and otherwise...yeah.  You know, I'm even starting to be okay with the rueful fate of Donna Noble.  As long as I don't think about how she will tragically have lost all the self-esteem and belief in her own worth she's developed. . .  *is pained* Let's not think about that.  Let's just be happy she's blissfully ignorant about the loss.

However, I'm still not forgiving the episode for having a flashback montage o' sacrificed characters set to the strains of "The Dream of a Normal Death," though.  That was horrible and crushed me - like, COME ON SHOW, I'd finally reached a point where I could listen to that without feeling teary - and I've never been quite so desperate for the Doctor to just stop hurting.

This probably explains why my brain is trying to heal itself by pretending that Original Doctor just...I don't know...dissolved into smoke like all the test-subject prisoners at the end of the episode series.  I mean, despite what happened in the parallel world, surely Torchwood, Martha, and Sarah Jane could keep the earth sufficiently safe from aliens?  (never you mind all the times it got saved prior to the 21st century)  The Doctor's clearly not going to find peace until he dies, so my brain has decided that's what happened.  *is reconciled*

Voice: Now, is this "reconciled," or is this "reconciled like how you reconciled with Doomsday after reading that one story," which meant you were content for a couple of days and then resumed being broken forever?
RS: Probably the latter.
V: Thought so.

Edit: OR THIS.  This is an acceptable alternative to immediately dying!  (The things I would do without dollsome to direct me to fic, I don't even know...)

Ugh.  All right, must watch yet more TV to distract myself.  Is it tonight yet?  Because the Numb3rs promo I saw whapped me over the head with jaw-dropping awesomeness, since in all the squee and flail about the finale, I had totally forgotten about Don being due in the hospital at some point.  Surprise, that time is now!  Yay!

Edit: OH.  YES.  CAPS LOST.  *is back on emotional roller coaster, now LAUGHING SELF INTO FITS*   This makes the last (boring) episode totally worth it.

Tags: doctor who, fanfic, fic recs, harper's island, journey's end, loltastic, lost, lyrical post titles, music, numb3rs, survivor

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