Bones, 4x24, "The Beaver in the Otter"
Somewhere, buried so deep I can't even find it, this episode had a point. Right?
There were a few good lines - "Would this by any chance be a fraternity of sociopaths?" and "How stupid do you people think I am?" and ("Booth! He is not a radio." "Well, he kinda is, that's why I brought him along.") - and the initial discovery of the body was fascinating, even if the case that followed it wasn't, and I liked that Booth negated my prepared wrath over "you have to be bad to become good" by surreptitiously leaving money on the counter as they dashed. Otherwise, yawn.
And I forgot they had that new grad student. BOO. Now we're back to a 60/40 balance and the odds still do not favor people I like. Although do quite like Hodgins' unabashed mistrust of Muslims. Heh. And his commandeering said unwanted grad student into helping him with illicit after-hours experiments in dropping things from great heights, timed so as not to hurt An...innocent person. Stupid Cam and her stupid buzzkill.
Next week: I've been denying the Stewie spoilers for a really long time, because I can't deal with how much I hate Family Guy and don't need it contaminating my recently beloved crime drama. Ugh. Ugh. I thought this show was in an upswing? Where'd that go?
Grey's Anatomy, 5x21, "No Good at Saying Sorry"
Although there were a couple of highlights, I think I only watched about 22 minutes of this episode all told, and it still seemed to move at the speed of molasses.
Thoughts, in Ascending Order of Interest --
People I Put A Muzzle On And Skipped Right Past: Mark, Lexie, Callie, Arizona, Thatcher, and the Chief. (I swear this list grows on a weekly basis) If I didn't read other peoples' reactions I would have very little idea what was even going on with any of them.
Cases: Well, okay, I heard a little of Callie's crap, but only because I realized Tree Girl's sister was Lucy Knight on ER, and that actress is delightful. Then I heard Callie declare that what she did might have been stupid but was still incredibly brave, which...no. If something is stupid, it is not brave, it just stupid. And such people do not need encouragement via praise of their choices.
I liked the 6-year-old killer storyline in theory - it achieved the intended spooky effect, even though the promos did their best to drive that angle into the ground until it was meaningless - but as soon as Meredith started interfering, my sympathies all disappeared. "At least [your daughter] did something"? Um, not so much, really. Shooting someone over and over is not better than staying with and making excuses for the guy hurting you. Sorry. Maybe they should have shown me a flashback or something of the abuse itself so I could form a better picture, because just hearing about it, I had trouble finding my righteous anger. And I'm a very angry person by nature.
Oh! It took me all hour to figure out where I'd seen that mom before, and I just now realized she was the 30-something virgin on Private Practice with the broken hoo-ha. Aw, I liked her so much better in that role.
Derek/Meredith: Derek. What did you do to your hair? I'm not exactly at a point of devastation, since you have a summer to fix it and anyway I'm sure you could have made it look worse, but...it's somewhat less dreamy than usual.
I find it amusing that the real reason Derek is so laid-back and affable about the wedding plans being drummed up around him is probably because he already went through this for his first wedding. On an even bigger scale. No matter how big Izzie tries to make it, it's probably only half as big as what came out of Forbes-Montgomery planning. Or so I assume. Did we get details about the size of the wedding in the crossover event? I've already forgotten it.
I like the clumsy plugging of the wedding website, by the way. Although it still wasn't as bad as said website's official guestbook, with Arizona randomly and ridiculously sighing about what a pity it is that two girls can't get married. I mean...the hell?
Izzie & Mommy: Hee! Izzie's mom is the mom from "Oliver Beene!" (sorry. That's always who she'll be, from now until the end of time) She CRACKS ME UP and is at least eight times more enjoyable than Izzie herself. While I still prefer Bailey as her acting mother figure*, Real Mommy is so loopy and ditzy that I have to say, she's my favorite of all the mothers and/or fathers that have been introduced on this entire series.
* = you know, I'm starting to wish Bailey had never had a child at all. It was ill-planned and ill-conceived and ill-executed and has pretty much led to nothing but problems; clearly they should have just let her continue to vicariously mother-hen her interns.
Alex was in here too, being slightly less repulsive than usual. Which I suppose was nice.
George: I have decided that 50% of the show should now consist of he & Owen working together in trauma surgery, because it is more interesting than any of the relationship drama. They have an incredible mentor/mentee relationship, and I don't think I'll ever tire of watching the former look quietly impressed with the latter's quick thinking and smooth approach to chaos. Oh, who am I kidding. It's just nice to see that someone cares about George's existence again, or more importantly, to see him matter & make a difference. He's perfectly solid no matter what, but he thrives on direct encouragement, and it's satisfying to watch.
Cristina/Owen: WIN. Sandra Oh is my acting heroine forever and ever - I don't even *know* what she did with her voice to make it sound like she was trying to yell and keep from crying at the same time, but it was an amazing place to take Cristina. You expect her to be volatile, but you don't expect it to upset her so much that she can't control her response.
That's my favorite component to this relationship. Prior to The Trauama, I sort of doubt Owen was the kind of guy who went around crying his eyes out at the drop of the hat, but look at him now. Cristina isn't totally frigid, but she's definitely more bottle-it-up than share-your-hurts, and now her heart's on her sleeve. Around him, anyway. I kind of love how bewildered she is by the fact that he can mess with her head (in the best possible way).
Meanwhile, observe Owen's umpteenth submission speech for the Shakespearian Sonnet Club:
"They're all three word sentences so I could have SOMETHING to say to you instead of the three words that are...that are killing me. The three words that you know I feel but I can't say them, because it would be cruel to say them, because I am no good for you."
And Cristina's tears as she finally understands, and her parting, subtext-laden "Take care now." Ohhh, my heart. Is it wrong to care way more about the status of this relationship than Izzie's health? Because this is what I'm going to be focusing on for the rest of the season as the central storyline.
P.S: Hee! I was reading my old reviews, which is what I do, and I found this comment from last year's season finale: Damn it, I miss Denny all of a sudden. Can his crazy ghost show up again at some point? Good/plausible reasons not necessary.
Clearly, I need to throw out a lot more rhetorical questions.
Private Practice,"Yours, Mine and Ours" (season 2 finale)
TRUE CLIFFHANGERS SUCK.
Oh, geeze. Which of the flobbity billion storylines should I start with? Congrats on being more interesting than Grey's for the first time in a while, too.
Sam/Naomi: His blurting out "I'm still in love with you!" was supposed to be a big revelation for the characters, right? I didn't feel like that. Maybe because it's been like this since the show started, or at least this season to date. It continues to be tired and tiresome.
Naomi vs. Charlotte: Haha! Charlotte's staff doesn't like her, and it got her fired! HAHAHA. Pointing and laughing now, oh yes. I mean, aside from the fact that it inadvertently led to Violet possibly dying, or at least being in a world of pain. You know what, if she does die, I'm going to somehow charge her with some type of indirect homicide for pulling Cooper away seconds before he would have reached Violet in time to stop the crazy woman from attacking her. (If SVU can pull charges out of its ass, so can I.)
As for Naomi, where have I seen this plotline before, with someone walking away from their job and heading up a rival company in the same building...oh! Right! That show we don't talk about anymore on NBC! Except in this case, since Nae isn't dragging anyone awesome with her, it probably not only won't convince me to stop watching, I'll be sort of disappointed when she winds back up in the office after, oh, I give it 5 episodes.
Unholy Devil Ship: Right now, it still pretty much consists of wanting the Wicked Witch of the South to shut up. Always.
Cooper/Violet: Enh! Look, in their strangely interrupted-by-someone-other-than-Charlo
I got off track a little bit there. Bitter Grudge is my middle name. Rainbow Bitter Grudge Stevie.
Dell: Whatever, I would have bought my kid. People pay the dealers to rescue horses off the feedlot. But I will accept Dell's rationale that however much he might hate Heather and not be bothered at all if she happened to die, she's still Betsy's mom and he doesn't want his daughter to lose that. And even though Dell's recent weeks of being a miserable miscreant have served to damage forever his hotness/likability in my eyes, I can't say no to him hugging Betsy and giving reassurances. Let's have a picture!
Embryo Switcheroo: ...see, things like this remind me why I can never like Dell again. As for how I actually feel about this ridiculous state of affairs...I can't imagine what I'd feel like in that position. What I can do is pass judgments on the married woman's actions, like so: SHEESH, how much of a selfish bitch can you be? "I will not carry your child. But you can't carry mine either! Nyah!"
And, um, I'm pretty sure that our abortion laws aren't quite right if you can be legally forced to terminate a perfectly healthy pregnancy, especially due to someone else's mistake. That's all I'm saying. That, and I certainly hope that if you can, due to DNA property rights or something, that the widow could at least force the other woman to carry a perfectly healthy baby. I wasn't quite clear how this storyline turned out - TWoP says it was resolved in that the women agreed to carry to term and then exchange after birth (haha, I foresee no complications there), but I can't believe they let any storylines wrap instead of carrying them into the premiere.
Addison: Oh. My. God. Stop it! His wife is having a baby ANY SECOND NOW. This is not the time to start tearing off each others clothes in his probably-unlocked office! What is wrong with you people?! Relatedly, what is wrong with the people on the internet who still think this is the hottest thing ever?! I DON'T LIKE HATING ADDIE. IT MAKES ME SAD. I, I, I am just going to focus on the part where she is being a competent head of practice and making phone calls to lawyers who will perform damage control on her colleagues' dumb-ass mistakes.
Pete/Addison: "Who'd have thought you'd turn out to be the nice guy?" Addison says, speaking for all of us, but also speaking for Shonda, who wants us to take a good hard look at ourselves and ask why we rejected this pairing when she first offered it to us. Fine, lady, you win. Addison can apparently do much worse and Pete's character redemption has come at the expense of any future hope for Violet/Cooper. Obviously we should have cheered for this ship from the start. Look at him, he's even wiping away her tear!
Thankfully, rather than kick us when we're down and send these two into an ill-timed round of comfort sex, the two merely settle down into the couch in mutual woe and silently reflect on the sad state of their current respective romantic endeavors. I heart their friendship. I think maybe they should enter into a pact whereby if they're still single 20 years from now, they'll get hitched. For now, let us simply bask in The Pretty:
Sheldon: Blech; needs to hopefully never disgrace my screen again. Maybe one more time to officially end his obsession with Violet.
Pete/Violet: HEY THERE, HI, HELLO, WHEN DID YOU START TO EXIST IN REALITY AGAIN? Pete is ready to fight. Pete has never really fought; he is a pacifist ready to get in clumsy anti-war sentiments because he has never seen the point of fighting to solve anything, but he is ready to fight for Violet. And this child. And for the three of them to be a family. It is hot. It is swoon-worthy. I think Pete is somehow my favorite character now; I don't know; I've gone all blinded by rose-colored glasses and deaf to anything except "I love you."
And Violet is...
VIOLET: Oh geeze. The scenes in her home with Crazy Knife-Wielding Babysnatcher were good I don't even know what to do with myself. Zounds! Paralyzing her from the neck down was a particularly horrible touch, like, you couldn't even knock her unconscious or find the kind of drug dosage that would put her in a coma? But I suppose, then we wouldn't have the gutwrenching scenes of Violet pleadingly making sure she didn't hurt the baby in the process. Those were very effective. Best part of episode, right here. Except --
Apparently various parts of the internet are outraged by the level of gruesomeness and horror involved in Violet's predicament. I don't know why; clearly these people need to watch more crime drama - women having babies chopped out of their uterus are par for the course. It happened twice this past TV season alone. I for one find that a fascinating form of peril, one to add to the increasingly long sub-list under "pregnancy complications" on my Great List O' Tragic Scenarios. I certainly never dreamed you could pull it off with anyone other than a Victim of the Week.
I don't know; for some reason I'm not afraid for her life. I seem to recall someone saying that even though it seemed like two characters wouldn't be back for season 3, both would be? On second thought, they might have been talking about Charlotte & Naomi. Hm. Still. I somehow have this delusional belief that someone will come in to save her at the last minute. Of course, then Shonda would have to find some other way of wrecking Violet's newfound happiness, but I guess I figure that an incessantly crying baby wouldn't have much trouble stressing out a newly formed and never very steady or serious couple.
...or possibly the baby just won't survive at all. *is slow to assume things* That would wreck any couple, but especially one who pretty much bonded over the baby. *COUGH CARTER & KEM* I would, um, probably not have too many qualms with that. You know how I lose interest in pregnancies shortly after birth. And if I gave up Cooper/Violet, I can give up anybody. With appropriate amounts of whining, of course.
Harper's Island: Still needs more murders and less sex. Especially now that half of it airs before dark and wow, it is just way less scary when it's not black outside. I keep thinking I should just ditch this show, wait until July, and then watch the rest of the mystery all at once, since I'm inevitably frustrated when it ends every week...but then every week, I'm so bouncy with anticipation for the next installment that I can't wait one second longer. Still, the best part of this week was during the last minute, when I briefly stopped hating Trish.
I'm still Abby/Henry all the way, and was possibly ridiculously excited by the twist that they might kill the irritating bride so early on - plus, drowning her in the pool by pulling the cover over while she's underwater would qualify as an Excitingly Gruesome Death! - but I will accept Henry dashing up to comfort his nearly-drowned betrothed as a consolation prize. I almost sort of believed in their lame, chemistry-free love for a minute thanks to his protective head-cradling. Wow, there are a lot of dashes in this paragraph.
I still don't know who the random guy who saved her is, though. I feel like I should know who he is and/or what his purpose is, but it's like he just showed up one week and was everywhere.
As for the actual murder - DUDE. STOP KILLING RANDOM ONE-NOTE CHARACTERS. The only prop I'm giving you this week is how cleverly the killer is selecting people who won't be immediately missed, or suspected as related murders. Right about now, though, I'm thinking it would be useful if Charlie Eppes were among the wedding guests.
...that statement should lead right into a Numb3rs review, but I haven't processed it yet, and if I hold this section over the next post will manage to overcrowd itself. So never mind.
P.S. Southland got renewed (for a half-season so far). Yay? I will celebrate more once I know Medium's safe. SORRY, BEN. JOE DUBOIS > YOU.