RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

"This cast is devaluing my fame!"


I didn't exactly mean to do this, but I watched "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!" and IT IS MY NEW LIQUID CRACK.  I don't even know where to start.  Frangela has me howling.  Sanjaya now has an actual mohawk.  Lou Diamond Phillips is suddenly the GREATEST THING EVER.  (Torrie Wilson, whose name previously meant nothing to me, quickly proved herself the female equivalent)  I've never actually seen Janice Dickinson before, but holy crap she looks horrible (to match her personality!).  Stephen Baldwin is similarly freakish, and I am still completely baffled as to how and why Patti Blagojevich is on this show.

Best Worst of all, I have never before seen Spencer or Heidi Pratt on video, only heard their names bandied about, so I was thoroughly shocked by how it took them (by which I mainly mean him) under ten minutes to prove themselves the most horrible people I have ever seen in my life.  Who randomly talk about God and pray to Jesus a lot, which, I do not even know what to do with that extra level of weird.  Except laugh my ass off (and then weep a little because over the course of two hours they very nearly ruined cuddling for me).

And apparently I get to experience this joy 4 days a week for the next 3 weeks?  OMG SQUEEDANCE.  Mostly, I am in it just to watch Lou Diamond Philips be offended by Spencer's existence, but my throat is actually a little sore from laughing so hard, so I expect the good times to keep on rollin'.

After all that, then I somehow had to sober myself up right quick for...

Medium, 5x19, "Bring Me the Head of Oswaldo Castillo" (season finale)
I don't know about you, but I am now at least eight thousand times more grateful to CBS for picking this up than ever before.

I'm pretty sure that if this had been the way the series ended, I might have cried myself to sleep tonight.  Because regardless of the fact that the writers have an ace up their sleeve to fix this for next season (surely they won't follow through on that whole "cutting out the tumor also cut out my gift" thing though, right?  at least not for long?), if that had been the last thing they'd written, I'd have had no choice but to believe she spent the rest of her life in a coma and never woke up.  I would have tried hard to conjure up reasons otherwise, but in my heart, I would have been forced to believe in the tragic outcome.  Just because I can't shake Joe's face at the end after he gets that news.

"Your wife's a hero, Joe."
"I know that.  I've always known that."  
Saddest statement ever.  :'(

*cheers up*  But fortunately, instead, I get to anticipate (what had damn well better be) the most fulfilling of all wake-up scenes, HURRAH!  Preferably, hopefully, in ways that will subsequently utilize TV magic and not rob her of her hair once life gets back to normal, because I don't think I could deal with that on a regular basis.  Yes I'm shallow.

I freely admit that while I knew the agent was bad news from the get-go, I also didn't believe her family was ever actually in danger, and I may or may not have been yelling at someone to declare Allison mentally incompetent and force her to have the surgery ASAP.  Whoops?  In my defense, which is also Joe's defense and which I think they played very well, most of the time her dreams relating to her family are not meant to be taken literally; her gift likes to use them as symbols and metaphors for real victims.  (case in point, apocalypse now) 

And it's not like outside forces or extenuating circumstances have never messed with her dreams before.  How were we supposed to guess that this one was a real warning?  Which I suppose is what makes this ep chilling, and her visions of lonely future existence in an empty apartment that much more gut-wrenching, in retrospect.  

Mostly I was just thinking how sad it would be if the very final episode had ended with Allison and Joe yelling at each other more times than I could count, never mind the first instance I can remember of her swearing in front of (and kind of at!) her kids.  The lovely bit in the hospital later, with his impassioned refusal to leave her while she was undergoing brain surgery, would not have made up for it!

Possibly I should take a 10-minute break to cool off and try to work out my sudden anger issues with NBC.  Apparently they've been bubbling under a dormant surface ever since the cancellation news broke, and now they're exploding.

*20 minutes later*  Eh, impossible.  I feel like I've forgotten a lot of things in my haste to pour out my initial emotional response, but this is pretty much all I got.

And kudos to Patricia Arquette's incredible acting and ability to bring out the completely numb shell that is 2010 Allison DuBois, bereft of both family and psychic abilities.  Hours later, I'm still feeling empty and hollow every time I think about it, and it was only a scenario that didn't and will never come true.  I was trying so hard not to pay attention to the song in those scenes, because I knew it was going to break my heart, but...yeah.  Natasha Bedingfield, "Soulmate."  It doesn't completely work, but the chorus serves its purpose:

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Tags: i'm a celebrity, medium, new crack addiction, tv commentary

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