Heck, I was just coming on here to say some things about Sara, but then I got a private message about other casting spoilers, whereupon...OMG HOLY EFFING S%#% RILEY'S GONE?! RILEY WILL BE LEAVING. HALLE FREAKIN' LUJAH. My show! My beautiful wonderful perfect show that I never ever badmouthed (wink), honestly, oh show, you are going to be perfect again, aren't you?? You had some minor issues with boredome for a while there, but I bet once you jettison Super Speshul Riley, you and I can go back to being SOUL MATES.
Meanwhile, let's just shut our ears to this nonsense that Sara will be "dropping hints of trouble in paradise" (go to hell!), even if TPTB also promise that they are absolutely still together (seriously, what is this fire-and-water angle you've decided to go with whenever one is off screen? Remember that year when they were together and totally happy in season 7? *ignores subsequent Years of Upheaval* Sorry, my version skips straight from Sara being found alive to Paradise Found, with two stops for Warrick's funeral & some bedtime cuddling in between)
We're simply going to focus on the fact that our favorite and most beloved Sara will be back. For more than one episode. Possibly for lots of episodes. I mean, even though I didn't think the show completely nosedived in quality or anything,
Also, let's re-focus on the fact that not only is Sara in, Riley is out. Double your pleasure, double your fun!
I can't remember if these were all from the same source or not, and some of them are already outdated but the text document's been sitting on my computer already written, so out it goes:
"According to CSI Files sources, the premiere of CSI: Miami's eighth season will pick up where the season seven finale ended. Eric Delko has been found, but things don't look good for the CSI. He has a bullet fragment lodged in his brain, and the EMTs work hard to keep him alive in the ambulance as they rush him to the hospital."
The hell, AGAIN? How many times can a person get shot in the head, especially with fragments left behind, and still LIVE, much less function with normal mental capacity? It's like the universe is making him accept the consequences of all the bullets Horatio fires while never getting so much as a scratch.
"The ambulance is hurtling down alligator alley ("alligator alley"?) and we [close in] on the license plate, which says '09. And then we change the license plate to '97 and suddenly he's in his tow truck."
His...what? Oh come on. I'm almost positive he's got a 4-year degree from a university, and I'm pretty sure the timeline is such to suggest he got it straight out of high school, too (I'm running under the assumption that this isn't just a summer job). Didn't he maybe have a sports/swimming scholarship? But of course, this is also where we agree to believe that Horatio was a homicide detective 12 years ago, rather than that whole "the science is my discipline" idea he was touting 8 years ago after spending time on the bomb squad.
Ryan is in the Junior Officers group, and he admits that he wants to be just like Speed some day.
Gross. THAT IS JUST GROSS. Not entirely implausible, given how eagerly Ryan jumped to the job, but what is it about Speedle that screams "Eager Young Wannabes, glomp onto me!" ?
During the investigation, Speed calls on a woman he knows at the Miami Bureau of the FBI, Natalia Boa Vista.
Grosser and grosser. Of course, pretty sure both of the above two paragraphs are now somewhat null and void due to the fact that Rory Cochrane said "no thanks" to a role reprisal, because having two good former actors at once would probably make things too frighteningly realistic. But guys? When you have to rewrite how to work NBV in there, could you please remember that a few seasons ago she was the FBI mole and NO ONE HAD ANY IDEA about her connections there?
Over on CSI: New York, the premiere of season six will finally answer the question of who was injured in the shootout at the end of the season five finale, "Pay Up". According to CSI Files sources, Danny Messer was caught in the crossfire and finds himself in a wheelchair at the start of the new season.
...HOLY SH** WTF? Seriously? I...on second thought, screw it. You know, if LINDSAY were hurt, that might at least give Danny some angsty-husband material to work with that would get him back in my good graces. Danny being injured does nothing for me, since I was ready to shoot him myself.
(Also, what do you mean, wheelchair? Isn't that sort of a MASSIVE HANDICAP, and not the kind of thing you can gloss over as fast as a twice-broken hand? Or do people regularly find themselves in wheelchairs and then get out of them a few months later? I don't actually know; I am not well-versed in temporary paralysis or whatever this winds up being, but that seems implausible. Unless he got hit by multiple bullets in such a way as to break both legs.)
Second: Time for an installment of the Top 10 Commenters Meme! Stuff has finally started changing around here...apologies if there are huge white spaces; they plague me every time I play with this toy. [edit: um, or RANDOMLY MISSING NAMES. Come on, LJ, I'm writing this in the HTML window and everything.]
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