RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

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Hello there, Premiere Week Gun-Jumpers

I didn't even take notes, and yet, these posts wrote themselves in my brain anyway. What was I supposed to do, not transcribe them?

Voice: My reviewing habit is going to be severely curbed.  Do you even remember the things you say from day to day?
RS: Well, strictly speaking, three reviews in a week, for pre-approved shows, written on the weekend, are well within my established guidelines.
Voice: Uh-huh.
RS: Shut up!  It's not my fault all the good stuff started early!

{Bones, season 5 premiere
Oh my God. I was going to ignore Bones for a while, even with all of you talking about squee, and then I popped in during Survivor commercials. Um, yeah. There is definitely reason to squee.

What did I do, accidentally broadcast my brain waves to the Bones writers and zombify them into writing whatever I want? Sure, let's just STAB Brennan in the arm, and then let's just have Booth CRADLING HER PROTECTIVELY UNTIL THE AMBULANCE COMES, whispering reassurances about taking care of her and KISSING THE TOP OF HER HEAD. I'm sorry; I thought the (awesome) alternate universe only lasted for one episode? Because now that I'm in my second round of squee, I'm pretty sure the last words in this scene are "I've got you, baby." WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. How is this explosive masterpiece of shippiness even allowed to exist??

Allow me to watch this scene EIGHT THOUSAND MORE TIMES. Rest of episode? Pshaw! There's no need to watch the rest of the episode. Oh, except for the part where he comes out and says "I love you," which was supposedly preview-spoiled, except not, because it gets glossed over real quick in the previews but in context, it's actually so much more profoundly serious before. And Bones knows it. And even sounds a little disappointed at the qualifier. "An 'attagirl' kind of way?"

+ Angela's psychic friend being completely awesome and saying amazing things. Plus Angela herself being amazing for the first time in months.

+ Hodgins, King of the Lab! Half-giddy and just plain wonderful all the time! And no Grad Student Roulette to throw things off! And CAROLINE.

+ Bones accidentally sitting on sleepy!Booth in her office sofa, and then his face lighting up like a joyful puppy upon getting to hug her for the first time in weeks. OMG, HUG, OMG.

+ Weirdo shared life experience! I can't believe they made the alternate universe even better, but by confirming that at least some of it existed in both their brains, it so did.

+ The protective wall slam made it into the theme song, where it purports to be more significant than it was! *\o/*

+ Bobblehead Bobby!

+ Great case!   With lots of skeletons! Proper skeletons, all fleshless and not disgusting rotten corpses. Oh, show. Be mine. Be my little baby. You light up my life. (And so on.)


Let's just ignore the part where Sweets is a jackass and informs Booth that he's probably confused about the truth of his feelings for Brennan. Sweets always ruins everything.
-The Office: 6x01, "Gossip"
Wow!  I wasn't excited about this show's return at all, was fully prepared for it to suck, and it didn't!

I fully credit Jim/Pam (and the lack of any focus on Pam's job), the fact that Erin had like two lines and I was able to forget she existed, and the fact that OMG, INTERNS, I LOVE YOU. DON'T GOOOOO!  They should have starred in summer webisodes. I want Erin to resign and be replaced by Megan; I like Megan!  I would totally embrace Megan as the new receptionist!  SHE IS SO MUCH MORE ACCESSIBLE TO ME. Far more sensible head on her shoulders.

Now, not having looked at recent spoilers, episode descriptions, or even a promo, of course I didn't believe that Stanley was really having an affair. Then it was true. And I just kept going "What? What?? WHAT!" THIS IS TOO MUCH, WRITING STAFF. Fess up, who went through an ugly divorce and is inflicting their feelings on the scripts? Because, not even counting the usual relationship strife, there's been an alarming trend of anti-happiness over the past year or so.

-Pam's parents
-Implied Bob Vance cheating?

Now, if these are the sacrificial victims necessary to sustaining Jim and Pam's eternal soon-to-be-wedded bliss, then by all means, please continue. But if I can somehow trace this to a convenient scapegoat like Warren Lieberstein, well. I liked Terri!

All I'm going to say about Andy is that it was funny because it's true at first, but it quickly got old and they dragged out the same joke way too long.  Or, "meh." 

Jim/Pam/Baby Watch 09-10
I had this whole sermon prepared about The Fugly Business Suit ("FBS"), which I figured would be its own character this year, but it turns out that when Pam's all beaming and happy about baby things I forget to notice her attire. Aside from the pair of them (especially her) being generally perfect all hour, ULTRASOUND. OK, that almost makes up for cutting me out of the whole first trimester.

Selfishly, I'm glad that TV has yet to catch on to the horrors of 3-D ultrasounds.  2-D ones are so indistinct as to be completely irrelevant for anything beyond symbolic joy, but I like it that way, as 3-D ones are muddy images of things that look like alien creatures you'd squish under your shoe.

I'm glad it's out in the open now, anyway.  It was a really cute reveal and a lot more satisfying than the announcement of, say, their engagement.  Plus, having them separately freak out the first time they hear the rumors - Jim's panic face!  (it looks a lot like Mulder's panic face)  Pam's "Why did that come into your brain?"  XD

I don't know whether I'm happy or sad that Angela got in a comment about bastard babies.  On the one hand, that is an absolutely necessary thing for her to say at some point.  But on the other, one of my many reasons for not liking the surprise!baby was I didn't want Angela to have an opening to make that comment.  I do like to believe that Pam had to restrain an urge to slap her across the face, though, and we're probably all fortunate that Jim chose that moment to pull her aside.  Other things:

"Who's the father?"
"How far along are you?"
"Four months."
"Who's the OB/GYN?"
"Stop.  Don't.  Not necessary."

+ Jim snatching the picture away from Michael at the first inappropriate comment, and carefully inserting himself between Pam and Kevin's monologue about her breasts.

+ Pam: It's clear why we were trying not to tell people.  That's clear now?
Jim: *arms crossed, staring at the floor, nodding mutely*

+ "Apologizing" to Michael for not telling him.  "We should have realized you were an equal part of this."  

I would glee at length about that heart-melting smile and the pride on Jim's part as he tapes the sonogram onto one of the frames on his desk - never mind my usual joy when there's another photo of him with Pam already there - except that I can't hear anything over the squee in my brain due to Pam's lovely smile as she watches.  That's it!  That's the look I've been waiting for!  I have not loved Pam this much in like a year.

This shot will be my happy place for the remainder of eternity.  *sighs happily*
I swear, I just need a quick overview to get first impressions out of my system --
Survivor: Samoa, premiere

Hey, remember that guy from last year, Coach?  Wasn't he great?  Don't you miss him?  I DO.  One hour of a psychotic leprechaun and I already miss the days of sweetly deluded, harmless old Ben Wade. 

Way to not play into stereotypes or anything with your Evil Incarnate, multi-millionaire oil tycoon of a villain, show.  I don't yet have a name for the squat little toad, I just know he's not allowed to be called by his real name because we already have a Good Russell.  The whole time, I kept thinking, "Don't people have to pass some sort of mental health screening before they get cast on this show?"

Every season, I think, "Surely there won't be as great a guy as (insert last season's favorite male)."  After Stephen, I REALLY didn't think it was possible.  *jogs off to read his Twitter, as she does every time she remembers his existence*  But then Mick appeared on the scene.  HI, MICK.  *swoons*  I hate that he's a doctor, because - particularly after Marcus - the doctors on this show are always smug assholes.  But he's such eye candy.  And, look, I have a Type, okay?  Lately I've been developing a track record for tall, slim, smart men with neatly trimmed brown hair.  I'm helpless.  God, I hope he's a nice guy.

Other "Best Guy" candidates:  Brett, who seems like a typical fresh-faced liberal hippie nice guy my age, and would work as the eye candy in a pinch, and John, the rocket scientist with much darker and more striking features who will be my #1 pick if Mick doesn't work out for me (omigod, soccer player, jackpot.  No, wait, he wants to "party around the world" with his winnings.  GAH,).  As for the ones I like for their personality...

Russell: Man, he's just so HAPPY.  How do you not love this guy?  I love this guy.  His team's a big ole party of love and happy feelings!

Marisa: I have not been this pissed about a first boot in years, and possibly ever.  She was smart.  Everyone is picking on her for her "dumb moves," but she really seemed like a very bright young woman - I assumed she was a recent college grad, not the Ivy League/grad school track, but like your typical well-rounded and possibly honors college student, vivacious and a good deal brighter than many college girls.  I really wish she'd gotten together with Betsy, because they seemed like they could have pooled their respective skills & smarts and gone far.

Betsy: SHOULD PROBABLY WIN OR SOMETHING, I LOVE HER SO.  Even when she says silly things like "women's intuition, I guess," when pressed as to why she doesn't trust Psychotic Leprechaun, rather than something more sensible like "because I'm a cop and it's my job to read people."

Go Away
Russhole, of course, but also Ben The Prejudiced Hillbilly (remember when that boy was worried JT might treat him differently if he knew he was gay?  He was a season ahead of himself.  Also, I miss JT.), and Mike The Portly Oaf.  WTF, "I'm not the weakest person here"?  You're 62 and have a huge potbelly.  And even if you do have muscles in there somewhere, when will people figure out that brute strength isn't the only kind of strength you need in challenges?  Who do you think had an easier time shooting up and down A-frames - you, or all those lithe and agile young women?

Dave also creeps me out. 

  Not sure how I feel about Shambo.  I'm on the fence about her.  Jaison is quite nice and pleasant but hasn't really  grabbed me yet.  Yasmin also has potential, though she looks way older than 23.  Otherwise, most of the ladies are blending together for me and I'm sure there's at least one guy I haven't noticed yet, either.
Tags: bones, screencap happy, survivor, the office, tv commentary
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