(I love how 10 = "dialing it down.")
But in the meantime, I've been adding to this post a little at a time and suddenly it's more than long enough to justify a submission.
-Survivor: "MICK DREAMY." How did we need Shambo to make that connection for us? Seriously, how was that not just an automatic reaction? Because it's perfect. He also has a habit of wearing his trunks entirely too low on his hips that I find I cannot argue with. His personality still does not compare to Stephen's (*sigh*), but just this once I find I am okay with 100% objectification.
Now, every other time in recent memory that I have loved a guy on this show, he's made it into at least the top 6. Don't disappoint me this season. Hot Rocket Scientist will not make up for it!
In other news, I'm okay with only having one challenge in the beginning like this, but not if you spend all the extra time to give eleventy million interviews to Grossell.
And finally, not only am I overwhelmed with joy to see Ben's nasty, ugly personality out of here, I nearly WEPT WITH JOY to hear Jaison expertly shoot him down 917 times with rational, articulate, and beautifully eloquent statements about said nasty and ugly personality. My eyes shone with love as Jaison never faltered, never hesitated, never stumbled in exposing him for the ignorant, arrogant and unpleasant fool he was. Everything he said was on fire.
[Edit: Or to quote TWoP poster El Guapo, "Jaison eviscerated Ben coolly, calmly, methodically and with surgical precision."]
It was like he had a prepared script, yet it was totally off the cuff (he even got in a hilarious bit of mockery), while Ben sputtered impotently and kept trying to fight back but just FAILED and FAILED HARD. It was, bar none, the most glorious Tribal Council I have ever seen that didn't include jury members. I have chills just thinking about it. OK, the show's moved into "watchable mode" now.
Ashley's growing on me, by the way. Possibly influenced by my knowledge of her Minnesota roots, but also, the way she's so genuinely baffled why everyone thinks she's the weakest and is so against. Looking at her again, and comparing her to the long-haired blonde (Natalie?)...yeah. Other Blonde sounds like she's had a lobotomy and looks like the wind would blow her over; Ashley at least has some solid athletic muscle to her.
Future Me, why is it so easy to talk about this show no one else watches?
Grey's Anatomy, 6x03, "I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me"
I'm still in a mysterious place where I love this show. Which is weird, because I still have to skip large portions of it. But the parts that are good, oh, they are so good. I am firmly convinced this show gets better every year, in a way where I am scared to go back to past seasons because I don't want to look back on their probable inferiority. Maybe it's just that I fall more deeply in love with my tiny handful of favorite characters every year. I feel sleazy and gross admitting that this show ignites more interest in me than, say, CSI - but it does.
It's A Money Thing
Do I like Olivia? I can't remember. Because when I first found out, hours before the episode aired, that she was going to be the first victim of budget cuts, my reaction was "Eh. Bye-bye, Syph Nurse!" But then her wee sad little face appeared on my screen, getting comfort hugs from McDreamy and tearfully saying "I'll find another job, but...seven years!" and I just wanted to sob and then go, I don't know, throw packets of blood in Arizona's face to make myself feel better.
(Why Arizona? Because coincidentally, or not, she's both the newest hire at Seattle Grace and the first face that popped into my head when I thought of "unnecessary/superfluous doctors." Though it should be noted that coming to mind before McSleazy, McSleazy Jr., or your girlfriend, all of whom I've been complaining about MUCH longer, is both surprising and telling)
OK, truth be told, I might be more upset about Megan, because she's pregnant! And married now, apparently, what! (hopefully not on a Post It) To Steve, the cute one! THEY ARE HAVING A BABY. COME ON. I probably at one point did want 75% of the interns off my screen, but not anymore, and this is not the way to go about it! Maybe I ought to have made that list of expendable doctors after all...
FIRE CANCER GIRL. FIRE KAREV. FIRE YOUR OVERPAID PLASTIC SURGEON. FIRE LEXIE; SHE GENERALLY SUCKS THESE DAYS. Or fire Callie; she's excellent at rebounding!
But, yeah. Let's go back to being upset about Olivia, because she broke my heart last night after she got in that good, justified, seething rant at Lexie's idiocy and still went down. I am so pleased that at least McDreamy knows her name and is willing to write recommendation letters for her.
Muzzles & Skipping
STOP trying to transform McSleazy into this gentle, caring, romantic guy. He is a gross, disgusting pig and he will ALWAYS BE a gross, disgusting pig. I didn't know you could top the fake transformation of McSleazy Junior, but apparently you can. Ruining Lexie in the process pisses me off, because I love Lexie. And she's oh-so-very pretty that I am almost tempted to the side of once-bianism whenever there's a closeup on her face. But I can't stand her like this.
Just...stop stealing McDreamy's comforting scenes. Because his comfort scenes are kinda the only reason I put up with Meredith, so if you dilute their specialness, ungood things will happen.
Good Stuff Happened, I Swear
-Cristina + Peds = loltastic times. Or so I assume. I actually couldn't watch most of it, due to horrible embarrassment, but her "I want to kill someone, possibly myself" look while being forced to play Hide-and-Seek with a patient was enough for me. HEE. Cristina using Arizona to suit her personal needs is both fantastic and fine by my book.
Also: WEARING A PINNED-ON BEAR. Nuff said.
-Case in point of "Lexie being adorable when not attached to Mark," SO CUTE when she plopped down at Mer & Cristina's table and proceeded to spill forth both her personal woes and her admiration for the latter. "Plus you're really pretty." So many truths!
-Speaking of McDreamy, please shout at the Chief more. I haven't really paid enough attention to figure out who's in the wrong, although I assume Richard by default, but you look so pretty when you're all passionate and riled up.
-Whatever, ENTIRE WORLD, I don't get what everyone's complaining about - I actually like Izzie's wig. Both style and color. It does look natural; how does it not look natural? I keep staring at it trying to see what's so bad, and I simply don't. Besides, whatever keeps me from having to look at her hideous blonde peach fuzz cancer hair is a winner in my book. She could wear a poofed-out Foxxy Cleopatra Afro and it would look better than the alternative.
-Calm!Meredith is my favorite. She's gotten so...mellow and stable and likable lately, even when not attached to Derek. It's weird. Maybe it's the lack of screen time? The principle of Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder?
-First scene? Hi, PERFECTION and REASON I LOVE YOU TWO. Cristina in her pushy, Cristina-like way, bouncing around and trying to get him to go on the offensive bat for her...and he's all, "Mmm, how 'bout no." AND! This fabulous gem:
Cristina: That list is everything. That list is my future, it's my salvation...the list is life!
Owen: Schindler's List? You're comparing this merger to the Holocaust?
Cristina: I'm Jewish. I'm allowed.
Seriously, his expression when he realizes where her crazy rant ended up is priceless.
-SO CUTE when he tries to get her to go home for sleep; she refuses; Derek manages to look wonderfully husbandly when he kisses Meredith's hair and already knows she won't go if Cristina won't...and no, it will never not delight me how the significant others of these women have to work around their co-dependency. I love the look the guys exchange; Owen's learning fast.
-As for the batting practice...I'll never understand how such a stupid pastime always ends up such a cute date night location, but it does. Even the stupid batting helmets look cute on date night. Or maybe it was just Cristina complaining and then squawking when the ball tried to kill her, and Owen - who really is astonishingly good for her - forcing her to stop thinking, stop worrying, let go, and have fun. Think he was speaking from experience in there, too, about focusing solely on what's right in front of you, right now.
Private Practice, 3x01, "A Death in the Family"
Can we have someone in mortal peril every week? Because I just had the oddest sensation of loving every single character unabashedly and without reserve, and I can't remember the last time that happened. Additionally, I don't recall anyone getting naked or having sex, so I'm not even sure I'm watching the right show.
1. I still don't quite understand how, when and why everybody got to Violet's house. That's the second or third cliffhanger this season that hasn't picked up exactly where it left off, and has given me a new reason to hate them - not just the eternal wait, but that it literally takes a rich, exciting story and sucks all the momentum out of it right in the middle.
2. I didn't really like the jarring seizure-like transitions between past and present day, so let's pretend they didn't happen. Let's also pretend I didn't laugh until I wept at the sight of Sam's glasses or Naomi's fugly hair, and instead, focus on my unparalleld joy of when Cooper & Violet were giddy besties and Charlotte didn't exist, and Sam and Naomi were married and totally in love JUST LIKE THEY ARE TODAY, YUP, MARRIED, LALALA I CANNOT HEAR YOU.
And I think they did do a nice job of continuity with Pete's loveless first marriage. For some reason I feel like that was a smooth transition into the somewhat sleazy guy we were introduced to in season 1; like, it makes sense that he'd embark on a path of serial monogamy/shameless flirting. I can't remember his and Violet's dynamic from the early days, though, so I'm just going to hope there's some foundation to them conveniently having had a Very Special Connection from day 1.
3. Was kinda hoping Cooper would lash out just a little more at Charlotte for stopping him from saving Violet earlier. That was the one and only time I started hoping against all logic and press reports that Violet would die, just to permanently wreck this relationship beyond repair. I know I promised to rail about her/them less, but I can't help it; THE HATRED BURNS AND IT WILL ALWAYS BURN.
Also, I think it was supposed to warm my heart that Cooper was so much like her family as to be the one making medical decisions, but instead it just stabbed me in the heart that this show implicitly promised that were the kind of perfect friends who should one day be together, and then destroyed that hope forever not once but twice, between the Wicked Witch of the South and the pregnancy. Fiction isn't supposed to turn out all sucky like that!
Yeah. Hatred, hatred, burning bright. I'll stop now.
4. Oh, Addison. "I have failed at every relationship I have ever had. I'm clearly not good at keeping friends since I screwed up with you. But there is one thing I'm good at. I am good at surgery. I am a *brilliant* surgeon. THAT'S what I have. That's what I have to give to my people." The English language does not have sufficient words to express how much I love her in this moment. And every other moment in the premiere, especially her poor and worn-out little self sleeping in the hallway.
And then Naomi taking the whole "You left me alone!" railing (justified, btw) in stride and being all supportive and comforting and petting her hair while Addison cries perfect tears in her lap. Did they set out to wrestle Meredith & Cristina for the best BFFs in Shondaland title? 'Cause, uh, I think they just won it.
5. Sheldon still exists? Blech. I would like him cleared away already.
6. PETE. Pete and his helpless grief/raging and his inability to notice he's covered in blood and his I-am-barely-refraining-from-strangling-t
7. Dell + Betsy! This is an acceptable reason for him to not be in all 22 episodes this year (okay, I read one set of minor spoilers).
8. It was a weird but cool feeling that all the women were in the operating room while all the guys were fretting and worrying in the waiting room, unable to do more. I felt like I should be saying "girl power!" or something. Regardless of the fact that one woman was the patient being operated on. It's still a change from the usual to have the women in charge of things.
9. I like to pretend that the only reason Cooper wasn't in the waiting room when she woke up is because he wanted an excuse for a longer and more private conversation the first time he saw her. Yup. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now let's go back and watch past-life!Cooper be all giddy about working in a place with a kitchen.
Numb3rs, 6x02, "Friendly Fire"
-Oh, show. Are you going to force me to pay attention to the cases this year? Because I refuse, on the grounds that your ridiculous number of shooting scenes are already giving me headaches. KNOCK IT OFF. Do you know why my mom groaned and complained when she first heard the promo promising "more action" this season? Because it makes you boring and generic like every other crime drama on TV. What sets you apart is the cerebral element stemming from Charlie's mathematical calculations. Don't lose that in the tedium of gunfire.
Although I will still gladly reap the benefits of Don being wrecked and guilt/grief-wrenched over killing his admittedly corrupt mentor. Which I'm still not entirely sure was a necessary position to put himself in, but then again I avoid paying attention to details whenever possible.
-Larry spent the whole episode sounding like his lines had been run through the Bonsai Story Generator. It was a surreal experience, when I wasn't trying to determine if he was stoned. Also, what, he's just randomly leaving for an unspecified amount of time? I read that in spoilers but I paid it no heed and dismissed it with a snarky comment. NOW IT IS REALITY. And upsetting. Mostly because of Charlie's heartbroken reactions to it, and the fact that he is not afraid to throw the word "love" around while expressing said heartbreak. Aw.
Although I think I can forgive the show for creating that most beautiful and weirdly profound quote I have used for the subject line. It's...unhealthy how much I love that line. I want it to become song titles, poem titles, journal headers, cursive script on collages; the works.
-To break up the depressing stuff, we had the Date Night Bet between Nikki (who has in fact become UNEXPECTEDLY AWESOME), David, and Colby, which had me HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER. Oh God, between the "we're married...to the job" (feel free to mentally strike out the latter phrase) and the hilarious married-couple routine they had by the end of the night when they showed up as each other's dates -- *laughing right now*
Poor Nikki. But hey, that's what happens when you manage to chase off your pro-basketball-player date because he remembers the time you none-too-nicely arrested his friend. "Come on...I had anger management issues back then!" LMAO. Oh my God. I need to go back and watch all of season 5, stat, this time with Betancourt love in my heart.
Oh! I almost forgot Charlie's amusing need to get all aggressive and possessive with "My fiancee" upon the perceived threat of Mr. Basketball flirting with her. Especially because Amita's expression was along the lines of "What the hell, Charlie."
5x03, "The Plain in the Prodigy"
For shame, Bones. How dare you waste Clark Of The Fabulous Snark on an episode with not one but TWO of the most over-used plot cliches in the history of TV? I'm sick of hearing about the question of teenage sex and double standards, but not as sick as I am of crimes featuring Amish victims, where the investigators are inevitably baffled not only by this strange word "Rumspringa" but about any and all customs. Every show does it EXACTLY THE SAME WAY and it's just painful how everyone on TV needs it all explained to them like children. I skipped roughly 55% of this episode and do not feel bad at all.
Plus, how much time did they waste on people standing around, staring in speechless awe at his OMG-so-beautiful piano playing skills? Because I wasn't really in awe. Or interested at all.
But I did like:
-How Clark's attempt at scathing, accent-heavy sarcasm fell flat on Brennan's ears
-"Working here is like being on The View."
-Booth getting all defensive about religion again
-Cocky belt buckle!
-Brennan being so mortally offended by the party. "This is NOT in the spirit of Rumspringa!" LMAO.
-Booth subtly and awesomely cowing Michelle's boyfriend into total submission.
-Finding out that Brennan made the very rational decision to wait until she found someone worthwhile at age 22, YAY.
Finally, "Our victim was a teenage boy who died about two months ago, but according to the data...he grew up in the early 1800's."
I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW BADLY I WANTED TO STOP THE EPISODE RIGHT THERE AND FINISH IT IN SOME SORT OF TIME-TRAVEL CROSSOVER.
P.S. OK, surely NOW we've seen all the best parts from the wedding episode?
(ALK;SJDLFKASJDLFKASDF I AM SO VERY IN LOVE WITH THEIR HAPPY FACES. And their mutual horror and disgust at the idea that Andy is going to be skanking up their honeymoon suite. "I'm gonna need the name and cell phone number of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets." Wise request, Pam.)