Saturday morning, I turned on the computer and my internet equivalent of a newspaper said "Hello. HEY, LET ME SLAP YOU IN THE FACE." Upon recovering from the assault and metaphorically unfolding it to the front page, I found big, black letters informing me that Southland has been preemptively canceled. What the hell, NBC, stop screwing over shows I love. It was only funny when it happened to Kings and Life.
You know, when it premiered, I resigned myself to the fact that it was probably too much of a niche show. I said 'hey, sure, fine. I'm prepared to love it for seven perfect episodes and let it go.' I was calm. Pragmatic. But then they renewed it! They gave me hope! So I abandoned my calm pragmatism, embraced the bubbly enthusiasm and whole-hearted love for this amazing cop drama, ignored the dismal news of Friday nights, a total rehaul, and a delayed season premiere...and got totally burned. I'm supposed to be happy with thirteen episodes, six of which could very well end up being held hostage? Bitch, please.
Let us turn to happier, bouncier news. Like the latest installments of a few of the shows with which I am currently in love.
Grey's Anatomy, 6x04, "Tainted Obligation"
OK, this episode was totally worth it just to see Alex scream like a little girl at the sight of a lil ol' grizzly [sidebar: aw, is that all they were casting the bear for? Boo. Want more]. I rewound it six times and am still laughing my ass off. It was matched only by the hilarity of him screaming and flailing like an even littler girl over a tick on his neck. HAHAHAHAHA.
Continuing my tradition of unpopular opinions, I have to say that I find Izzie's non-peach-fuzz cancer hair much less realistic than her long, shiny wig of last week. Honestly, this looks like the world's worst toupee. It's like a fuzzy rag of carpet glued to her head. I mean, hair that short on any woman is going to be ugly - that's just a given - but at least I don't question its reality on, say, "Medium."
Owen: Are you whoring yourself out for surgeries?
Cristina: Oh, shut up, you forced me into it.
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE THESE TWO? Oh, and hey, was that Shadow Shepherd the Unpretty Surgeon she was trying to seduce with her words?? I love how all Owen has to do is come around the corner and placidly observe this interaction, and Unpretty Surgeon is like "Um, ah, um, never mind!" *flee*
+ So much love for Owen snickering "I'm gonna pay for this later, but it was so worth it." I love how he has managed to pretty much accidentally fall in with this boys club like he's always been part of the gang.
As for Thatcher....I'm tired of listening to him, and so he was quite irrelevant in his own story, although I think it was worth it just to watch Meredith mirror my own expressions and be hilariously uninterested in his fate/supremely disdainful the entire time. BUT MOSTLY, I was busy being mesmerized by how much I love Lexie. She's even prettier with street clothes and proper makeup (I hate saying women look better with makeup, but in this case it was noticeably true). It was even possible to get the majority of her scenes McSleazy-free, reminding me why I adore her. Including her big, sad, I-love-my-Daddy eyes.
I may have cried a little bit when she gave that fabulous and tearful speech to Meredith, begging her to let her keep her father. It was a speech right on par with the Shakespearian Sonnet club. Ahhh, Lexie. Dump that boyfriend and spend the rest of the series doing sweet things like sleeping on Meredith's arm/IV line all night; I want my once-beloved character back.
-I can't tell you how badly I wanted Bailey to demand to see a notarized marriage license before she let Derek use "this is my wife" as an excuse to be in the operating room with her.
-Wait, Izzie had a FIVE percent chance? I thought it was ten. Great, now I'm even more pissed that her stupid cancery self managed to survive. On the bright side, I love seeing Izzie fail, so it was totally worth killing the cute cancer guy in surgery just to dash her stupid optimism and make that happen.
-I quite like the little moment where Derek's watching Meredith pace at the end of the hall, and when Cristina starts to go towards her he grabs her by the elbow and makes her wait. It's kinda rare that Fake Husband is more intuitive than Best Friend, so I'm savoring the moment.
-I felt like it was a very meta jab, having Izzie specify that "we barely make 30 grand a year," to finally appease the fans who are always complaining that they're doctors and presumably have decent salaries.
That being said, I am pretty that married couples can afford a 1-bedroom apartment on a combined 60k a year. I feel like they could afford a whole lotta places, actually, and -- oh! I know why her snarky dismissal bothered me so much. I had almost forgotten that at one time, she had MILLIONS OF DOLLARS that, rather than investing or even saving for a rainy day like I told her would happen, she chose to pour entirely into building a hospital clinic. MILLIONS. @#%(*&#@(*$&#*$!$#@$
-Re: Lexie sleeping on Mark's shoulder: STOP STEALING ITEMS OFF MY CHECKLIST OF CUTE. IT RUINS THEM.
Private Practice, 3x02, "The Way We Were"
Wait, what? Nobody sleeping together? Not even Cooper and Charlotte? Two weeks in a row? *faints* (Also, I feel like I should point out that as a result of this newfound and probably short-lived class, this is currently my 4th most-anticipated show. Seriously. As gross as that sounds to my ears, it goes Glee, The Office, Survivor, Private Practice. Then Numb3rs. I KNOW.)
Oh, man. Can I just say, VIOLET IS ME. That is exactly the person I would be if I ever gave birth. And my hypothetical husband* would stare disapprovingly at me like that ALL THE TIME (*because, clearly, I would need convincing, in the form a baby-happy husband, to even have children in the first place, easy to sway though I'd be. There'd be none of this casual-affair business).
While there probably would not be a traumatic set of circumstances in which the baby got chopped out of my stomach in my own living room by a nutcase, I am the type of person for whom agoraphobia and panic attacks - and even, sadly, hiding in closets if given the proper trigger - are not such a very big leap. And regardless, the disinterest in the baby, the mystified looks as other people cooed over it, the generally unkempt appearance, listlessness, and reluctance to so much as hold it - ME. ME, ME, ME.
Hell, there is even a substantially solid case for the ending being a vision of my future. Of course, there'd only be the one residence between us, and therefore instead of him going home, I'd be the one to walk out, but the basic principle of leaving the baby with his father and going off alone; THAT IS NOT IMPROBABLE. I would not put it past Future Me. This is why Future Me is not allowed to have kids.
I apologize for inflicting my completely irrational psychological anxieties on you in the TV section, but it was unsettling. Especially since it simultaneously made for such an amazing episode that I'm still gobsmacked nearly 48 hours later. I mean...it was perfect. Everything, in every way, every single character. (Except Sheldon. He continued to be superfluous and unnecessary, and I enjoyed watching overprotective!Pete slam doors in his face.)
Wish we hadn't had to skip over a whole month of prime situations, though. Imagine how great Oceanside Wellness must have been with just Addison, Sam and Cooper working there. And Charlotte not even being in the building. I would love that environment!
And then you'd have Pete and Violet at home with a baby. Which is interesting, because I'm pretty sure that lack of desire to watch people take care of a baby is the reason I stopped following "Secret Life of the American Teenager," but...those brief glimpses tonight of him carrying Lucas around, while simultaneously trying to look after Violet? Suddenly, every other aspect of this show seemed irrelevant. The first minute alone covered an incredible amount of ground. Good grief, I need this family and all its imperfections and problems to exist*.
Before all this, we had a chance. We had a real chance. And then Katee attacked you, and I've been doing everything I can think of to help you get past this. But it's not helping. What I'm doing, it's not helping. It's not helping you. So. I'm gonna go home. . . . This isn't just about us. We have a child. You were hurt. And everyone thinks that maybe you need time, but Lucas doesn't care. He needs you now. And if I'm going to be a good father I've got to do what's best for him. I can't fix you. I can't make you walk out the front door. You have to do it yourself, and I have to let you.
I can't decide if I love it, hate it, want to hit him, or just curl up and cry. Because on the one hand, what he says has some truth to it, and the way he says it all breaks my heart, but on the other hand, it kinda sounds like cowardice dressed up noble self-sacrifice. You can't fix her, so instead you leave - for her own good?
And sure, it magically cures her agoraphobia from "I can't answer to the door" to "let me just drive across town at night," but...I can't help feeling mildly perturbed. Like I should make allowances for the fact that they hadn't even really been officially dating, so it's unreasonable to hold him to the same standards of commitment as a married father, but I can't seem to convince myself to do that. He's entirely too good at playing the latter role. STICK IT OUT.
V.v. pleased by the ending, though. Even if it did make me cry again. On two separate viewings.
As for the plethora of other rich and wonderful storylines, the frosty air between Addison and Naomi ALSO relates to my life and feelings of irrational betrayal between best friends - better still, I have been both Addison and Naomi in two separate situations - and so I continue to flail about the richness of plot. I have a feeling they'll end up better than either of my stories, though, which gives it a positive shine.
But I specifically relate to Addison in her confession that she's almost jealous of people with visible injuries - everyone can see their pain, everyone can understand it, and hers is internal and somehow less justifiable or sympathetic. Even though her specific pain is stupid and fake and that entire debacle with Jackass Noah was ridiculous, I get her reaction to it. Sometimes I'm jealous of people carrying baggage from ex-relationships, because everyone has those & understands them, but I have broken best friendships, which were not unlike long-term relationships for me, but minus the romantic angle and thus harder to explain. SORRY, MY ISSUES HAVE SPILLED OUT AGAIN.
Meanwhile, I continue to love the fact that Sam and Addison can bond by mourning over the quasi-loss of the same person, from slightly different perspectives, and commiserate about loneliness without turning that into "hey, it's only logical that WE should hook up, right?" Nope. There are solely platonic sparks there, and it makes me very, very cheerful and content.
And then Kellie Martin was a patient of the week, so despite the ridiculous judgment calls on abuse (hey, weird thought, maybe "they always seemed so happy" because...THEY WERE/ARE HAPPY, and they're telling the truth about accidents! stranger things have happened!) and a storyline that parallels one from last spring on the parent series, I had fun with the various avenues on that.
I still don't like Charlotte, but I have to admit that even her version of bonding with Violet over gin was kind of exactly what the latter needed. And I did crack up over her expression accompanying "Do I look like someone who wants to hold a baby? I'm wearing silk." Hahaha! For that one second, Charlotte was me, current version.
Worst part of the episode: realizing that Naomi and Sheldon working at the same place means there's no hope of getting rid of him, even if he's not the baby daddy. Up until now, I had somehow blocked my memory of how Violet met him, and figured that it was only a matter of time until he was written out. NOW, PROBABLY NOT SO MUCH.
End result, though, I'm going to start placing bets on how long this upswing in events can last before it goes back to its traditional cesspool of storyline ideas. I feel like I'll be lucky to wring three more weeks out of it.
Bones, 5x04, "Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"
Have you noticed that all the TV murders that take place in suburbs actually take place in developments? I choose to believe this is less a reflection of Hollywood's ignorance about what non-urban areas look like, and more proof that anyone who would buy a home in a development is already crazy. Also...I think they solved the case a little too easily, what with the Cynthia Nixon lookalike being all "La dee dah, let me just conspicuosly perform some conspicuous bike maintainence in the middle of my driveway, wearing my conspicuously metal-bottomed murder shoes, while the FBI agents walk around on a mission to find evidence..."
But enough about that; this episode is about Parker and how precociously adorable he is, all the time! I love when crime shows have that one munchkin who occasionally runs around being doted on by all the other single/childless adults. It's sort of like bringing a dog into school or the office for a day. Angela + face paint = win.
Although not as much fun as Booth & Brennan & Parker all going out to eat at the diner, and Brennan showing a remarkable improvement in the area of conversing with children. Is there anything sweeter than her offering them access to her building's pool? No, there is not. Well, maybe..."Nope, Parker's right. You're awesome, Bones."
Amazing how much less aggravating Arastoo becomes without that obnoxious accent. Suddenly he went from being barely better than Fisher to a completely bland and inoffensive intern option. It still only moved him up one position in the queue - now he's beating out Mr. Nigel-Murray as well - but it's amazing how vast the gaps are between my levels of appreciation for each grad student. My feelings for him are now completely neutral.
Plus, I got an endless well of giggling out of Hodgins & Angela's general reactions of "WHOA, HEY, NO, I DON'T THINK SO. EXPLAIN NOW PLZ" reactions to the change. Also of Cam smacking Hodgins on the back of the head for attempting to have him pit the greatest Christians against the greatest Muslims. HEE.
Numb3rs, 6x03, "7 Men Out"
I could actually count the number of bullets in this episode. Hey, that's a minor improvement! In related news, nothing happened this week except for Amita rather adorably driving her fiance crazy by e-mailing endless wedding invitation templates ("We haven't even set a date yet!") and Charlie objecting to the idea that Larry might not even show up ("It's my wedding day!").
Oh, and Colby attempting to force an adamently opposed David to join Twitter, which was awesome and could have been an entire subplot. Although David did not officially surrender (good for him!), I think Colby pwned the argument as soon as he closed with "You know, if you had a Twitter, you wouldn't have to tell Don about this in person."
*waits patiently for next week* (Honestly, sometimes I think I like this show better in reruns. It's great, solid fare - more exciting solid fare than the way Cold Case works - and yet I only seem to get really emotionally involved with 1/3 to 1/2 of the episodes.)