Survivor, week 7: Last week I got spoiled - without warning, in the comments on Jeff's EW blog! - about who the final three were, which SUCKS because I've never, ever read spoilers for this show in any capacity, and it really takes all the fun out of watching when you know where it ends up. If what they said is true - and I'm clinging desperately to that IF - then the news is 1/3 bad, 1/3 indifferent, and 1/3 good, so I don't really know to feel. I'd like to think the good news outweighs the bad, but they're so equally opposite that it's hard to say.
As a result, this episode just sort of dragged along. Erik needs to shut up even more than Grossell at this point. Can't stand his condescending, arrogant attitude - so smug and pleased with his manipulative brilliance all the time. On bright side, Brett seemed prettier this week. Perhaps there is hope for him yet. Alas, not so with John, as the more I look at him the more his face reminds me of a monkey. Depressing but true.
I's fun watching Monica's hamster brain work overtime, trying to figure out all the ways she was mistreated, especially why Shambo was suddenly being nice to her. "I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?" And while she sounded like an idiot complaining about the leader vote because "it all happened so fast!"...upon reflection, she's right. The guys just storm into the shelter, lay out a complicated numbering-off system, everyone votes in the space of three seconds without being given a chance to think about it -- and then go "Hey, look at that, what a coincidence how we all voted for Shambo! CONGRATS, SHAMBO!"
Reward -- they got to hang out on a pirate ship! PIRATE MASTER, I MISS YOU. Remember how great it was when Ben My Favorite won? If you're only going to get one season, half of which doesn't even air on TV, at least they went out with style.
Oh -- also, Liz is out. The idea of Jaison leaving struck terror into my heart, because Mick & Jaison are like a finely matched (and muscled!) team of carriage horses and I cannot fathom one without the other, so having Liz go was almost like an afterthought.
LAST THOUGHT, I SWEAR: Last night I had a revelation of understanding as to why everyone trusts Grossell, and why they're really not idiots for not voting him out: by all accounts, he has a pleasant demeanor. So did JT! Sure, Grossell is butt-ugly both inside and out, whereas JT was as genuinely nice as his cute face suggested, but what if JT wasn't? Everyone still would have trusted him, even though - like Grossell - his name never came up in consideration to be voted out.
So let's have enough of calling everyone stupid and claiming that Russell deserves to win if they can't figure out that they should vote him out. Everyone has threat potential as long as they're in the game, okay?
How I Met Your Mother and NCIS are existing in a weird twilight zone where I watch and mostly enjoy them every week, but have no desire to discuss them in any capacity. I don't know what HIMYM's deal is, but for NCIS I think I subconsciously blame the spinoff for being irrationally successful. I'm cranky that NCIS has blasted to the top of the charts, which you'd think I'd be happy about, but am not because it's taken its dumbass little sibling with it.
If I see one more ad with Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J smirking at the camera...
I'm developing a distinct hatred for the way they market this show like it's about Bros In Arms when there should be an actual team they work with. Maybe the team is invisible? At the very least, it should focus on the head of said team, but apparently they don't have one. Procedurals without a distinguishable leader are less interesting by default. And if you're going to focus on a partnership, then at least one of the partners needs to be attractive and/or interesting. Neither of them are either.
Anyway, NCIS. It's been sad and weird watching Ziva run around with either non-entity or "probie" status. 7x04 made me feel gross, although I can't remember why since the episode details were pretty cleanly wiped from my memory after Gibbs gave her a kiss on the head and whispered something in her ear. I just know I hated it.
As for the Halloween episode, look no further than Vance banning costumes for evidence of his complete jackassery. Although I did very much enjoy the Museum of Motion-Activated Horrors set up in Abby's lab, especially the deer head, and later Gibbs kissing Abby on the cheek before headslapping Palmer. I didn't even realize until the second rewatch that he slaps him because Jimmy presents his cheek like he's expecting a kiss for good work too. HEE HEE HEE.
The Office: OK, fine. I watched the "Male Prima Donna" video because that 5-second clip after last week's episode got the tune stuck in my head. For the first minute I was like, "oh, this actually kind of awesome!" (This was possible only because through supreme force of will, I fixed my eyes solely on Kelly's face and never looked away. I don't think you quite understand how violent and bloody my fantasies are of ripping Erin's spine out through her throat.)
Then Erin got a verse. An entire verse of her hatefully smug and cutesy voice. DIE, BITCH. DIE. This was followed by Andy getting a verse, which wasn't nearly as bad by comparison, but the two things combined serve to completely ruin a good idea.
Which is cruel and unfair, because Ryan (sorry, "Mr. Understood") rapping - in his white pimp suit, no less! WITH EYELINER - is almost as spectacular as Kelly singing, and Kelly singing is a thing of rapturous wonder indeed. If it was just them, this would actually be the greatest song in the universe right now. Why couldn't the idiots - or at least the female idiot, because I kinda like his storytelling "once upon a time, she was just a girl" narration - have been limited to backing vocals?
Speaking of which, I hear this song is already burning up the charts. Can Kelly go solo now? Because that would be way better. Right now I'm just annoyed that I caved and watched it at all, because I knew I would feel maudlin and discontent from the moment I heard that Erin was in the group, but now I know exactly what I'm missing. :(
Watching it twelve times in a row has not lessened my deeply vicious hatred of Erin. Even as my love for the track soars, my resentment toward her doubles with every listen. I want to make my loathing very clear. At every opportunity.
*Heads for listen #13*
And now, to wash the bad taste away, recuperate with a 7-minute dose of Jim/Pam highlights from season 4 & 5 set to very pretty instrumental music. This is the most condensed amount of perfection I've ever seen in one place. (In related news, the season 5 blooper reel is kinda disappointing, on the whole, but totally worth it for that one scene in Pam's dorm. *watches [insert ever-climbing number here] times*)
Numb3rs: Lately I've been almost as impatient for this show as Glee, and with the latter out of commission for a bit, I was poking around the spoiler board and wound up watching every behind-the-scenes video on YouTube for "Dreamland." Numb3rs just went up several places on the mental list of "sets I'd like to visit." But mostly, I focused on the interview with Sophina Brown, because HOLY COW! Her voice is totally different from Nikki's - in her words, about "17 octaves higher," and she's all cute and made of sweetness and light! Why didn't I know this like a year ago?