"This just in: CBS trims 'Numb3rs', orders more NCIS and HIMYM."
Numb3rs: cut down to bloody 16. Meanwhile, not just NCIS but practically every other series on their network gets an extra episode or two to compensate. A/k/a, "Say goodbye to your favorite crime show/third-favorite show overall, RS, because it's pretty much dead in the water." Which, I am incredibly ill-equipped to deal with losing beloved shows; this is not a thing that happens to me! I heavily invested in procedurals for a reason! I AM NOT PREPARED FOR THE END OF THE GOLDEN AGE.
I just...I can't believe this. I said I'd be okay if this was the last season, but that was obviously a BLUFF, and also, by "last season" I assumed the full, promised 22-episode run. Weddings are at stake here! (Well, one wedding.
Regardless, I cannot live in a world without my OTP on a weekly basis! Charlie & Amita frequently trump Jim & Pam these days in the daydream department - and Pam's pregnant, so I don't know how they're doing that, but they're just that good. And so is the rest of the show, which I firmly believe despite my frequent claims to the contrary after insufficient Amita. Don & Co. are the best law enforcement team out there, come on.
[Edit: meanwhile, we've got spoilers up through episode 11 already, which gives them -- what's that? -- FIVE EPISODES, tops, in which to slam on the brakes and be prepared to wrap everything up with a bow of finality? That is a frighteningly narrow amount of turnaround time. TPTB/cast, please issue press statements, interviews and anything else you can think of ASAP in order to reassure me that things will be okay and you have a Plan.
Meanwhile, I am trying very hard to cling to the fact that technically, this doesn't spell doom? I mean, it LOOKS like doom, but there's still a mild chance they could pull out of it, right? Maybe? Medium lived on partial seasons for years! Granted, they went into those years knowing they'd be shorter, but...I need my hope, okay. I need to believe this is just a mild setback.]
And you, NCIS. That's it. That is it! I am declaring full-fledged WAR on your ass. We are not friends! Starting today, we are enemies! ENEMIES! Pah! Grudge Match 09-10 is on, and you're at the center!
Sure, I could complain about everyone else. But you're the one topping the charts in your seventh season (7! That's one more than Numb3rs, and way more episodes since our season 1 was short and now this one will be too), getting all the praise and accolades like you're a breakout first-year hit, so I am specifically blaming you. You and all your ridiculous characters (Vance! Ducky! Jimmy! Recurring ass Mike Franks! McGee! TONY! That's right; I'm all outta learned tolerance and airing every grievance I've ever had with these fools).
In a nutshell, this sucks and I don't want to deal with it. I'm actually having a war in my brain right now, trying to decide if I'm more distraught over this than I was over Pushing Daisies getting canceled this time last year. I can't decide.
*stomps off* If you need me, I'll be spinning through various episodes from seasons 3-5 and trying to figure out how to do another picspam o' happiness through my veil of weepy tears. Screw you, CBS. What happened to Medium being the lovechild of Ghost Whisperer and Numb3rs? Remember how sensible that scheduling was? Why throw that away so soon?
For anyone who is calmer about this than I am, including Future Me, I have one sentence for you: "I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy!!"