It doesn't help that since Christmas I've been torn by maddening curiosity to just skip ahead and watch EoT already, to experience it before people spoil me on endings. This is the same dilemma I had after finishing "Doomsday," when I wanted to skip over season 3 and come back to it later so I could join in on the end of s.4. I soldiered on and am glad I did, so part of me thinks if I can just hold out for a few more days until some of my favorite American shows come back, I'll get over the urge. The other part of me is all, "but, but, maybe this time..."
And then suddenly, before I could think about it anymore, I had watched the Easter special.
Doctor Who, "Planet of the Dead"
Wow, that was terrible. No, like, extra-terrible. Even worse than the last episode. Voyage of the Damned is turning into some kind of artistic masterpiece by comparison. This is the last sucky thing with Ten, right? The remaining hours will blow my mind in the manner to which I am accustomed?
1. So RTD is writing all the specials, then, or at least having a hand in them? Because that's good for the last one and not so good for the ones in the interim, seeing as I keep forgetting that his plots are usually less than fun, and he can only be trusted to take care of the characters at the end of the day.
2. OK, the plot wasn't the worst thing ever (I could have done without the alien flies, but the metal stingrays were all kinds of awesome! Want more, yes), but the whole hour felt really BLAH. Like this is what Sarah Jane Adventures would be like were it not full of excellent teenage actors and complex themes: a fast-paced, shiny joy ride for kids who want to see lots of aliens and action, all flash, no substance. It felt dumbed down. Where were my layers?
3. Lady Christina, who looked unsettlingly like Gwen Cooper with Julie Cooper's eyes, was unsympathetic from the beginning and quickly became the most irritating quasi-companion ever, ever; like, by comparison, Martha is a princess, Kylie Minogue was awesome, and River Song was a precious gem.
"Doctor, approve of her quickly or all will be lost," I said about 8 minutes in, but by the time another 8 minutes had passed, not even that was enough to change my mind. UGH. I can't even tell you how impatient I was to see her hauled off to prison at the end, or how annoyed I was when the Doctor let her escape. I understand why he did, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
4. UNIT is my least favorite thing ever. UNIT without Martha is even less fun. Seriously, why no Martha? Think this would have been the first time she vastly improved the quality of a Doctor Who episode.
5. It was hard to decide who needed to be immediately and permanently put out of commission more: Christina or Malcolm. Okay, the former by a landslide, but the latter's fawning was repulsive. Yuck.
6. To be fair, there were lots of little, for lack of a better word, Doctor-ish moments that I enjoyed (odd gadgets, babbling, randomly conversing in alien click languages, and sarcasm like "before I die of old age..."), but they got bogged down under my alarming hatred of Christina, and nothing will induce me to watch this a second time to jot more down; SERIOUSLY, HOW WAS THIS EPISODE SO TERRIBLE. Let me illustrate it for you -- Worst episode in series history: Love & Monsters. Second-worst: Daleks in Manhattan. Third-worst: Planet of the Dead. Fourth-worst: Evolution of the Daleks. YEAH.
7. "Ohhh, humans on busses, always blaming me." Hehe. I liked all the references to past episodes that littered the script.
8. I'm thinking this is what prompted the Doctor to pick up the noisemaker thing he used on SJA to shut people up. But I did like his more-successful-than-Midnight ability to calm everyone down and romanticize all their simple, but wonderfully human, touchstones to give them something to focus on.
9. "You look human." "You look Time Lord." Okay, that was a cute retort, and how has he not said this before? How have I not thought this in my own brain before? Simple conclusions, I apparently cannot make them.
10. OI, MY HEART, "SPACEMAN." "I had this friend once..." (And, yes, maybe a little part of me is crying on the inside that Rose has already faded enough into the background that she's been replaced by Donna in terms of who gets first mention in the Emo Pangs of Loneliness)
11. *insert totally unnecessary kiss of non-necessity*
Barf. Did I previously say he had chemistry with every female in existence? This is not strictly true.
12. You know, Easter is like the one holiday I think you could reasonably allow some angst; its origins are pretty solemn. What's with the Almost-Everybody Lives ending? (Although I do like that he secured jobs for the hardworking young guys; that was sweet.)
13. I will ignore Christina's obnoxious sense of entitlement about traveling with him for two things: one, his utterly impassive, closed-off expression, apparently unmoved by her "but I'll go to jaaaaaaail!" plight, and two, "People have traveled with me and I've lost them. Lost them all. Never again."
See, that's all I want out of the specials. A reason to go weep in a corner, you know?
14. Your song is ending. // It is returning through the dark. // He will knock four times. I have chills, and grant the psychic woman amnesty from the fact that I spent most of the episode wanting to kill her for the melodramatic prophesying.
Chronologically speaking, "Children of Earth" and "The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith" fall in here next, and a little part of me wishes I had saved at least one of those for after I'd seen this special, but that can't be helped. ONWARD I SAY. Except, do I want to move onwards now? Not only did this kill a whole lot of my anticipation, but The Waters of Mars aired less than two months ago, and I am not at all prepared to be that caught up. Or that much closer to the end.
*does something foolish and hits up YouTube for a trailer; miraculously is unspoiled for End of Time*
DUDE, THAT LOOKS EPIC. *grabby hands*