Being as this is my second episode, I really don't know what is going on in the big picture. All I know is that I spent the whole hour realizing I am not completely turned off by the sight of Joel McHale's face anymore, beginning to super-ardently ship him with Britta while also demanding to know why bitches won't recognize the awesomeness of Nurse Rose ("Slater," whatever), and being baffled as to when and how Annie got a hunky boyfriend, who on second thought actually sort of grosses me out.
AND THEN JEFF AND ANNIE KISSED.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ANYMORE. THIS IS AMAZING. AND INSANE. MOSTLY INSANE. BUT WONDERFUL? I DON'T KNOW! I just don't know! I have no idea how this came to be! Am I flailing, or am I too sad about Britta's wee tragic face even though I it seemed like she mostly just wanted Jeff so as to 1-up Slater for whatever bizarre feud they have going? Wait, pretty sure I am FLAILING. Because just as I was thinking about how much I like their quirky sort of just-friends chemistry, THIS HAPPENED INSTEAD. Ahhhhhhhhh!
...not gonna lie, I sort of hope that nothing comes of it, so that people can continue writing their own awesome scenarios in which Jeff & Annie get together. For now, though, I'm just going to cling to the pretty. And not think about how this is way too soon and cannot end well.
On a completely random note, I can't believe they're done with a year already. You know how long community college typically lasts, right? What exactly do you plan to do after next year with your very limiting show format? I just can't understand why they didn't slow each season down to only cover a semester - I'm sure there are more than enough stories to go around, and 4 years is a much more sensible time frame.
P.S. Seriously, though. Britta. Adorable/best thing ever, y/y? I might like her more than Annie? Just slightly more! She has super pretty hair while Annie's is straight and short; that's the kind of tiebreaker I use. Also: LOL, TEAM BRITTA VS. TEAM SLATER, HAHAHA, I DIED A LITTLE.
Parks and Recreation
Psych! I promptly switched off the TV and left to go eat dinner. Not in a million years, Poehler. Never again, not for a nanosecond.
The Office, "The Whistleblower"
Well, that was kind of a weird downer, wasn't it?
I mean, I'm really glad that after nearly giving me a heart attack for fear that Pam or Kelly would get fired/suspended (Darryl/Andy, eh), the whole title situation wound up blowing over with apparently no consequences at all, but the whole episode carried such a bizarrely dark and threatening tone that I felt like I'd wandered into a weird amateur scriptwriting contest. Nevertheless, some highlights:
-Angela was so ridiculously pretty tonight, wearing a pale lavender top with eyeshadow to match.
-Toby, the secretly aspiring mystery writer! Now with ATTITUDE. "Write your own damn novel." Who knew he was capable of getting incensed? Incidentally, Toby/Pam shippers, since it turns out he can flare up over things he's passionate about it, your next plot scenario should involve somebody threatening/accosting/bullying Pam. Aaaaaaand...go.
-On second thought, maybe Toby is the Scranton Strangler. I'm surprised Michael hasn't considered the possibility.
-Andy's anger issues strike again! Not only did he make some sort of threat involving putting Phyllis's eye out with her own glasses, he mentioned that his family has a long history of silencing whistleblowers. DUN DUN DUN.
-I giggled when Jo's Great Dane obeyed the order to "speak!" That is the cutest dog ever...
...until we met David Wallace's even cuter pooch! *flail* I demand ever-more canine love, more! Cecelia's old enough for a pet now, right?
-His "Suck It" sweatshirt felt so very layered with meaning...
-Speaking of canine love - RYAN. TRYING TO PIMP HIS NEW SOCIAL NETWORK, "WOOF." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I would, however, like to know why Ryan gets a full advertising spot while David Wallace got cut off. The camera guys must have a very strict policy of one free verbal commercial per year.
-Seeing as how this post, like all my other fandom discussion, is public, I have to wonder how many times a month I incriminate myself on this blog the way Kelly outs her company on Twitter. I bet it is a lot, given that what I think is safely neutral subject matter actually comes loaded with my personal opinions, bias, fantasies and/or past experiences. Enough to scare me into protected posting? NEVER. I live dangerously.
-Halpert moment in the stairwell! Sure, it involved more of Pam being foolish (*repeats to self* baby brain, baby brain, sigh) and there wasn't much cuteness to be found, but they had a scene to themselves so I was placated. On a related note, have I told you how happy it makes me to refer to them both as Halpert? Because it still does, all the time. It's like she was born to wear that surname.
-As Nick the IT Guy made his unceremonious exit, departing as pointlessly as he existed, I sort of felt like I was watching Nikki and Paolo all over again. But with less spider venom and diamonds.
-Then again, he did leave in the best whirlwind of bomb-dropping since Jordan spilled everybody's secrets on Scrubs, so I have to give him credit for that. Darryl's on Facebook, boom, outed! P.S. Andy's the leak. LOL BYE.
-Anyone else get a weird sense of impending doom when Dwight bought the building?
Overall, it wasn't bad, it was just...off. And if it's not awful, I like it, so I give this a thumbs-up. You know what part I like best, though? This is the first time Office & I haven't agreed to see other people during the summer months! We can buddies all the way 'til fall! Or at least until July when the first spoilers show up.
[Edit: People are starting to talk and say things about how The Office will probably end next year if Steve Carell doesn't renew his contract, and while I know it is way to early to start fretting about that kind of thing...I CAN'T POSSIBLY EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH SEETHING DISGUST I FEEL AT THE NOTION THAT MY SHOW'S LIFE OR DEATH DEPENDS ON THAT IDIOT, WHEN IT WOULD BE 5000000% PERCENT BETTER WITHOUT HIM.
Besides, the show can't end until Jim & Pam have at least two kids. Anything Scrubs gets, I want too. And frankly, I believe Scrubs wound up with five or six babies total, and we're only at three here if you count Karen's. So.
I'm going to end there before I spiral into a complete tornado of despair over something hypothetical, but keep in mind that your words on this subject HURT ME.]
Oh my god, it's an episode RS likes! Hey everybody, spread the news!
Damn you, Matt Damon. I like The More Appropriately Named Wesley Snipes, I like him quite a lot, but he has no shot against your dashing charm, and I will pick you for Liz every time. Can they go ahead and spend the rest of their lives together? Because my eyes turned rather sparkly when he swept back in and agreed to overlook her crazy speech, and then I swooned into a mild faint. I don't even think I hate Liz Lemon anymore after this. I mean, it's a shame that Wesley did all the hard work of making her palatable and now I'm going to give the credit to a guy named Carol, but that's life.
We can always pretend Lemon's life just split in half, Lost-style, and there is another universe called Settlingly Ever After.
Mostly I spent the episode doing a lot of dreamy sighing and wondering what the last Matt Damon movie I saw was. It seems like it's been a long time since he's done something enjoyable, and by enjoyable, I mean "was a romantic lead, where the romance was a major component of the plot." *scans list* SERIOUSLY, DUDE. LESS ACTION, LESS OSCAR BAIT, LESS RIDICULOUSNESS, MORE PG-13 KISSING. WORK ON THAT.
(Also, how did I not know that he voiced the lead in Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron?! You were already like my favorite human being in Hollywood...)
On a less fun note...for real, Elizabeth Banks, you need to stop randomly showing up pregnant and ruining the more awesome potential relationship your baby daddy might have had a shot at. (For purposes of this conversation, I will pretend that JD & Elliot were not completely loathsome human beings whenever they attempted to couple up.) I like Julianne Moore! Even with a hideous accent! I cooed a little bit over the story of how she knew Jack when he was just a poor mama's boy wearing his sisters old castoffs, but she liked him anyway!
I still can't believe how much of this episode I spent giggling - all things considered I think I might have laughed more at this episode than I have laughed in the entire series to date, combined. What show is this! Certainly not one I recognize! Kind of ironic that this happened right before it switches time slots back to a place that clashes with Bones where I will never watch it again, huh?
Guess I will have to pretend this is the series finale. What a shame.