Luxury is when you can make talking about TV feel like homework.

I liked the patient this week, though.  She looked a lot like Hayden Panettiere, and she made a delightful foil for House.  Loved their biting back-and-forth about which was worse, zero pain or constant pain.  Did not love the medical culprit of the week…an enormous tapeworm.  EW.  Anyway, the patient care almost seemed like a background thought tonight, with all the discussion of House’s fascination with a pain-free world, and of Valentine’s Day and relationships…

 Continuing the discovery I made last week, I am getting kind of into House/Cuddy.  House/Cameron is the juvenile ship, the bland and blasé one.  House & Cuddy have spice and flair.  I may even stop referring to her as a drag queen look-alike, because anyone who can wield authority over arrogant doctors makes me smile.  It made me love Addison on Grey's Anatomy, so I guess it's working here on House.  I still can’t fathom any way in which it would realistically happen, but still.  And oh, Cuddy: you really shouldn’t ever sleep with a guy on the first date, unless you expect him to leave.  (He wasn’t even attractive, so I don’t know why you cared.)  I honestly have no words to express how much I loved the conversation with House on her doorstep, though.  It was hilarious, and rather telling, but it’s hard to explain why.  In lieu of that, let’s move on to the first scene with my favorite character, of which I feel like quoting a large section.    

 
W (bursting into House’s office): I am so tired of this.  Did you know that the new nurse from Cardiology is sleeping with that weird lawyer from the board?
H: The guy with 11 fingers?
W: …he has 11 fingers?
H: How do you not notice that?
W: The nurse used to be a man.
H: She’s not anymore.
W: But we can’t talk about that.
H: Thought we were.
W: We were supposed to talk about that.  I came here to talk about that, but on the way up I ran into Cameron.  You’ve got a CIPA patient.
H: Hmm…tranny nurse is more interesting.
W: Oh, it’s WAY more interesting.  But instead, I’ve gotta be your damn conscience.  I’m tired of being your conscience!  I don’t enjoy being your conscience –
H: No one enjoys that.
W: You’re studying her.
H: She’s actually sick.
W: Which you found out after you took her up.
H: So I’m curious.  Since I’m not a cat, that’s not dangerous.
W: I don’t think that metaphor was designed to actually warn cats.  

 And so on and so forth.  House/Wilson conversations continue to be the best thing about this show, especially when the latter gets exasperated with his friend.  Which I realize happens with most of their interactions, but it never stops being adorable.  It’s so cute that he’s at least recognizing his Jiminy Cricket role now.  Later on, they get in an actual meaningful conversation, in which Wilson does an admirable role of taking on the father figure role, authoritatively shooing off the ducklings and gently but firmly talking Cranky Emo Teen House out of his half-cocked scheme to harvest some pain-free nerves.  *hugs Wilson*

 Lastly, I was kind of tired and groggy while I was watching TV on Tuesday, and dozed off here and there.  So when I woke up the next morning and it gradually came back to me, I desperately hoped that last scene with Chase and Cameron had just been some kind of horrible nightmare.  Sadly, it was real.  Cameron decides that since she and Chase are healthy adults who have Needs, and they're not dating anyone, they should be implement a Friends with Benefits policy.  Only more benefits than friends.  And laid out in such a calculated, rational, unemotional and objective way that I can only assume anything between them will resemble either a straightforward clinical procedure or hardcore porn.  Come on, now - is someone as bleeding-heart as Cameron really going to be able to keep this up for long without becoming emotionally involved? 

 I refuse to discuss the part of the preview that shows Cameron almost kissing House. STOP THAT NOW.  I don’t care how many age-mismatched ships I’ve promoted on other shows, this one just isn’t right. 

 And now House is gone for another three weeks because American Idol is that damn special.  I can’t figure out how we got up to episode 14 already when it seems like the show is always on hiatus…

 *panics and hugs Charlie* Git away from him, universe! You can't have him!  He's mine Claire's!  Seriously, show?  Since you have already (literally) shot my OTP, could you please not dangle my other two over the rocks at the same time?  That’s the kind of thing that makes me walk away from you.  You know what else makes me want to walk away?  An episode that’s 90% flashback, especially of a non-Lostaway. 

Flashbacks bore me at best, anger me at worst.  I think they are the worst part of this show, and I know that you think the entire structure is built around that, but that’s not what I signed up for when I started watching this show.  I came to watch plane crash survivors struggling to survive on a supposedly deserted island on which all kinds of freaky and inexplicable stuff keeps happening.  I want to see them interact with each other in the here and now.  For the most part, I don’t care about their pre-island lives, or what coincidental and quirky ways they crossed each others’ paths.  It doesn’t strengthen the characters for me, and anything I need to know is the kind of thing I’d rather read in a nutshell biography on a website somewhere.  I find flashbacks to be a huge waste of time, and if I’m not watching live I usually fast forward straight through them.  In fact, I’m pretty sure their only redeeming quality is showing what the characters look like when not wearing sweat-stained clothing and caked with layers of grime.  Which is admittedly more pleasant to look at.  But not necessary.

 Unlike all the other addicted fans of this show, I don’t put much time or energy into theorizing about or even following the mythology.  And by “much” I mean “any.”  I don’t mind reading other people’s ideas, once they’ve put them together, but I’ve never tried to see anything for myself.  I’m waiting for that the distant day in the future, when the series is over, and someone publishes The Definitive Guide to LOST Mythology, or Answers to Every Island Question You Ever Asked, or something along those lines.  There are websites containing this information already; I’m sure they could make a handy book out of it.  I’d buy it in a heartbeat.

 That being said, the one really cool part of this episode was Fionnula Flanagan, also known as the major reason The Others was so spooky.  Wrote my second film studies paper on that movie; it’s a great piece of work.  Um, anyway.  Love, love, love that actress and it was great to see her again.  However, as far as the whole concept of free will vs. predestination goes, discussion of it makes my head hurt.  I hate philosophy.  I hate with a fiery burning passion.  If I were in Desmond’s shoes, I would have said “screw it” and asked Penny to marry me.  Of course, I’m also the person who would have stopped pushing the button in the hatch on the first day.  I go back and forth on the idea of Fate, but right now I don’t like it because it brings to mind the endless blog posts people at my (Catholic) school write about how they’re all stressed and stuff but they’ll be okay because “God Has A Plan Worked Out For Me.”  (paraphrased) Such blind optimism makes me twitchy.  Voice thinks it’s because I’m jealous of the serenity they get out of prayer.  I’m going to go knock her unconscious.

 And back to Charlie/Claire – C/C is a beloved ship of mine.  There’s really no way around that, since the first episode I ever watched was the season 1 finale and I just naturally assumed they were husband and wife.  I love that he’s smitten with her (*cough* Hodgins and Angela), and my squee was heard round the world when she kissed him last spring.  “They’re the slowest, cutest ship ever!” said I, and I stick by that.  The problem is, given that Claire is still somewhat reserved as far as her feelings for him go, he gets way too jealous every time another man spends more than 5 minutes alone with her.  He’s also just a wee mite possessive of the baby.  I love the thought of him as Aaron’s father, but he’s really not and she hasn’t asked him to be, so I wish he’d curb his enthusiasm a little.  Just a little, until they’re on firmer ground with each other.   

So to recap – NO KILLING CHARLIE!  He’s still one of my top…well, seven characters counting Vincent the Dog, which doesn’t sound that great but when you stop to consider how many people are on this show, between the Lostaways and the New Lostaways and the Others, it’s a long list.  My daydreams are off to explore the possibility of him drowning trying to rescue Claire, though.  So long as it’s only a temporary scenario, I wouldn’t mind feeling a tug on the heartstrings like that.  

Okay, my post is now very long, and if I add any more the editing box will start to become jerky and unresponsive, which causes me distress when trying to make minor edits later, as I always do, often multiple times over.  Be back with my crime show post in a flash.