And now: this, this is going to happen by hook or by crook. Future RS wants reading material.
Glee, 2x01, "Audition"
Let's just all remember that no matter what, we had one relatively resplendent season that no one can take away from us.
I hate watching Will & Sue work together/get along. Sin against nature. You know how it causes me physical pain when the internet rags on him all the time, because in addition to my starry-eyed devotion, I genuinely think he is one of the best characters on television right now? Even I could not stand him for at least half this episode.
So, clearly, by far the best part of this episode was watching Will breaking up the 273rd fight between his glee kids (since Brit-Brit's marvelous "Stop the violence" somehow had no effect). I knew something had happened to set quinnwill mildly ablaze, but by that point in the episode I was slumped so far down I'd forgotten anything was coming to cheer me up. And then suddenly he had his arms wrapped Quinn, holding her back, and EPIC SQUEE. In addition to watching this 29 times, there is even a handy GIF for the end. Since I cannot make it work here, there are stills instead.
Now, off to think about how (as inspired by this fic) legitimately disappointed I am we did not cut to a follow-up scene, preferably one which included some kind of Quinn/Will tension-cooling duet to balance out the poor taste that was the rest of this episode's music. Speaking of music, when "Empire State of Mind" is your best performance of the night, that's just sad.
I blew up over it earlier this month elsewhere, but the short version is my fury that a song with such potential in the pretty female melody has to be ruined by ridiculous, unwelcome, unnecessary rapping. Again. STOP DOING THIS TO MUSIC, JAY-Z.
As for the Glee version, while the choreography and outfits were lovely and the gals were great, oh my God, that's it, no white boys are ever allowed to rap again. Artie's been handling those parts almost OK so far, but now I'm just blanket-banning it. Notice the ban only extends to boys --Mr. Schue rapping is still my favorite thing, to the point where Bust A Move recently got into my 25 most-played songs, so much does it cause my heart to thrill with joy every single time. Ice, Ice Baby and Golddigger should make it there shortly.
Voice Interjects: What RS is not telling you, however, is that when she first listened to the audio track, she couldn't even tell it was Puck and was positive they were finally letting Matt sing. It is also my oh-so-humble opinion that RS will watch it 12 times tonight and come out the other side under its spell. You watch, Glee will give it the boost that "Run This Town" needed to get over the hump of dislike and onto The Music of 2010.
RS: What Voice is not telling you is that even if she were somewhat right, Finn is so offensive to my ears that he might singlehandedly derail the momentum of which she speculates.
Voice: But Rachel's going to bring it back with pretty lyrics, isn't she? The concrete jungle where dreams are made of...
RS: Do you hear where Mercedes takes over?
Voice: Do you see yourself hitting "play" for the fourth time?
RS: I hate myself.
Leftover Good Bits
+ My favorite bully/buddy Azimio chucked a slushie in Kurt's face right after he'd finished being more irritating than usual
+ Brief teacher moments in Figgins' office, between trying to defend poor ousted Finn and cut through Brittany's Sue-puppeteered attempted-life-ruining BS (bonus moment: lividly turning on Sue, albeit interrupted by students before it could go anywhere. Next time?)
Despite my spoiler wandering, I don't know whether Sunny is a regular or a two-note annoyance; hoping the latter. I assume Cartoon Lips is Chord Overstreet, and I think he's a regular. I hate them both more than Rachel does for just the same reasons: I love everyone
[Why is Matt gone? Matt only ever got like 2 lines. People eliminated in the first episode of Survivor get to talk more than he did.]
I knew there was some sort of Gaga horror I had to avoid, but I forgot about that until we were roughly 20 seconds into the bathroom sing-off. And then all the gears clicked in my brain at once with HORROR!!! and shut that atrocity down. If you do it fast enough, your brain's short-term memory doesn't have a chance to solidify and you make it out unscathed, still ignorant of what any Lady G songs besides "Poker Face" sound like. Victory fist pump!
"Billionaire," to my aghast chagrin, was actually catchy for a minute. Fortunately the other guys threw in some rapping to bury the good stuff, which had essentially the same effect as cookies baked with unsavory elements. Meanwhile, Sunny and Rachel's respective solos were just so very darn forgettable that I don't know what they were called. Sunny's bored me so much I didn't even finish listening.
Jewfro being the first thing shoved in my face when my baby finally came back. Finn's hair. Rachel's bangs. My inability to stand them because I miss Jesse. Tina and Artie breaking up. Tina and Artie breaking up for understandable reasons, like he chose Halo over her. Tina dating Mike. The way I actually find Mike's abs rather creepy; is only likable as skinny goof.
The horror struck into my heart at the idea of a petition for Will to stop rapping and/or dancing -- THE STUDENTS LOVE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT. I SPEAK FOR THE STUDENTS OF YESTERYEAR. Rachel looking like an idiot most of the time. Will looking like an idiot most of the time. Quinn donning her cheerleader uniform again, surely to cancel the humanity she spent all year gaining. The fact that even so, I actually agreed 105% with everything Sue said to Boobs McGee.
Finally, the fact that I could not even appreciate the lack of Emma, because at least she tends to stop Will from doing stupid things like letting Sue convince him to shun perfectly innocent new teachers. And it pains me much less when he talks to her than to Sue.
Conclusion: Normally I'd say I can't imagine how things could get worse, but tonight's episode is the Britney Spears tribute and later they have Rocky Horror Glee; I have officially lowered my expectations to zero this season. Ugh. Other than my love for Sue taking Santana down 20 pegs and the catfight, I can't get rid of this episode fast enough.
Immature Parting Macro