RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Titles! I used to be able to make up good ones!

Glee premiere update: Empire State of Mind, officially NOT joining the music list.  If it were one of those 2-minute tracks not released on official albums, great, but the full version has so many stupid, ridiculous lyrics in the rap that listening to 4 and a half minutes straight makes me want to shoot myself.

The performance, however, will be bumping somebody out and making a definitive grab as one of my all-time favorites, because I've watched that 12+ times as predicted, and every time I find something new to love. The way the Cheerios scamper out, Quinn & Santana with their gorgeously curled hair and Brittany with her dancing!  Rachel, refusing to succumb to pants even for solidarity, adorably shimmying on picnic tables!  Puck being flat-out AWESOME at this rapping-with-attitude thing, where'd that come from? And just, everybody and their Day Glo-on-black T-shirts and general fearless adorableness -- in the middle of the most zombified high school ever that manages to completely ignore this going on around them. I hate most of William McKinley High, for the record. Their student body is terrifically lame.
Premiere Week Ratings: Wow, I actually feel a tad sorry for Lone Star now.  I mean, I know I wanted it gone post-haste, but getting canceled after 2 eps and 8 days seems almost too mean for such a hot lead actor.  That is not really what I would have pegged for the requisite insta-death of the year, but then, very little is going according to plan.

For example: why in the everloving hell is "The Whole Truth" bombing out?  Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney do not fail at TV-related things!  I hate everything this season, and that's like the one project of which I approve!  Meanwhile, "The Defenders" is doing just dandy, which I flatly do not understand, since I thought it looked like an even bigger joke than "The Good Guys" in terms of "this is so cartoonish and juvenile, how did it even get picked up as a pilot."

It pains me that Outsourced retained a sizable chunk of its Office lead-in while Community continues to flail about in the shallow end, even if the network likes the latter. Raising Hope seems to be holding its own, admittedly buried beneath the CBS comedies (WHY WHY WHY ARE THEY SO STRONG), but still pulling in enough of the desirable demographic to comfortably exhale.

Meanwhile, I am shocked that Under Covers is struggling, mostly because I sent out strong psychic waves for it to fail, but it seemed like the sort of thing you people who weirdly like spy stories and the action/adventure genre would enjoy. I'm getting my wish?  That's unpossible!

...sorry, I don't know if you know this about me, but watching new shows fight to the death every fall is one of my favorite things about this time of year.  It's my deer season. I never attempt to predict anything and I rarely pick favorites because my default since 2007 is to hate across the board (even though I always end up falling in love with one or two, half of which end up dying), but even though I watch very little, I keep up with the buzz and previews so that I know who all the contenders are.

I love scanning all the ratings as soon as they're available, monitoring which newcomers explode out of the gate and which ones drop dead.  The game continues through the year, seeing who falls along the way and which lucky few make it to the finish line for season 2, but the first month is the best -- when everyone instantly goes from equal opportunity to being shaken up and dropped all over the board. The fate of the returning shows is a parallel game that provides its own bit of amusement, but it's also fraught with much more potential for heartbreak, so I prefer to just point and laugh at young ones.

Moving on.

The Office, 7x01, "Nepotism"
That actually went by pretty fast.  I have no idea how to handle it with coherency, so here is a list of thoughts.

-There is not enough anger in the world to express my contempt for this teaser.  What the hell was that?  Why did it exist?  What was it for?

-Claiming it was Toby's idea will not soften me up. The best part was when I briefly hoped Dwight might slit Andy's throat.

-I told you, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CHANGE THE THEME SONG.  IT HURTS ME.  IT MAKES THE BABY JESUS CR -- Jim kissing Pam in "Money."  I get to relive that every week? The new theme song is now RS-approved.

-"Hey, Dwight, I don't know if you heard, but we're supposed to be drinking out of weird backpacks instead of cups like regular people -- oh, you did hear!" 

-Oh, Kelly. (translation: Whoever keeps introducing the beautiful women of this office to jackets/blazers/suits, please stop it.  You're hurting my eyes and crippling my soul.)

-"[So unprofessional,] Mrs. Halpert." Yes, it's coming, so brace yourself: Squee!

-By the by, was that a real sighting of Mildly Upset With Pam Jim?  I ask because I am very enchanted with the idea, and cannot remember seeing it in serious action since about season 2.

-This next part may shock you, but I'm going to super-condense my Jim/Pam feelings into: they were amazing!  Adorable elevator antics and make-up pranks!  If only I we could cut Pam off before she makes idiotic-sounding comparisons to Bart Simpson, this would be the sweetest moment they've had in ages.  *watches several times anyway*

-Michael's nephew, on computer: My strawberries are ripe
Me: SIM FARM!!  Or probably it's that Facebook game I've heard of but refuse to know about. I prefer to believe that Sim Farm transcends time and has touched a new generation.

-Incidentally, I wish we could have the interns back. They were much more fun that Michael's lame nephew.

-I learned of Erin/Gabe via spoilers this summer, very considerately spared you the ranting then, but basically: why does she get everything???  I kid you not, literally one day before I heard that news, I was just thinking to myself how Gabe seemed like he'd make a very pleasant and endearing boyfriend, like the shy and awkward version of Jim. And then this happened.  So NOW, Erin has: the perfect job, a cat, a perfect first and middle name, great figure, a guy smitten with her who asks her out in the sweetest way possible, and the ability to reject him and upgrade to a classier and more attractive model. I like to think that Hell could not devise a greater punishment than making me watch the most annoying person in the world live out my dream life.

That said, I would like Erin/Gabe to continue for a while (like forever!) so that I can see if he lives up to the adorable boyfriend mode I have cooked up in my head.  So far, with the kiss alone, he's off to a smashing start.  I think this already edging out Dwangela in terms of 3rd-favorite-ship-to-watch.

I have a movie I need to watch tonight before it's due at the library, plus 2 hours of live TV and 2 hours of Shondaland that need watching and/or writing about, so: mini review time to keep me on track!

The land of second episodes: 
How I Met Your Mother: Lesson learned -- Barney should star in all episodes, as he is 5000% adorable and entertaining at all times. But what I really want to talk about is how I finally saw the semi-legendary "Zip, Zip, Zip" via reruns, and two things:  BARNEY/ROBIN, no wonder everybody has wanted that to be a thing since forever!, and TED/VICTORIA, that should be the endgame.

House: Boyfriend!House continues to be wonderful, Wilson greatly amuses me, and despite the fact that this show is so freaking amazing with the ship and without Thirteen, I apparently can't be bothered to do more than watch it.

NCIS: 2/2 on cheek kisses!  In other news: with the exception of Scrubs Med School, interns always seem to turn out well.  This show's are no exception (especially after Abby forces hers to wear bells). Everyone's so likable...if only we could somehow work out a deal to keep them and dump Vance. I'm willing to throw in Jimmy to sweeten the deal?  Meanwhile, plot: a convoluted kidnapping with an extra twist or two that kept me glued to my seat, keep up the good work.

Raising Hope: Still adorable, but -- auuugh, not her!  WHY DOES SHE HAVE A UKELELE EVERYWHERE SHE GOES.  Til Death!  Scrubs! Now here!  Just make her go away; I cannot stand this pixie. The music intensifies the agony.
Tags: glee, house, how i met your mother, ncis, raising hope, the office, tv commentary

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