Glee, 2x03, "Grilled Cheesus"
Everything related to the title offends me, Kurt is a pill, can I please just replace this episode with 10 replays of "One of Us."
Rather than dwell on how very grating, aggravating, or just plain boring so much of this was, I'm going to embrace my approach to 1x02-04 and just slap up a bullet list of what little is good.
* I have listened to the full version of "One of Us" roughly a gazillion times since I discovered it on Sunday, and while I adore the original, Glee made it 1500 times more amazing. The episode performance was inferior, with its terrible outfits and being butchered to only 90 seconds, but you absolutely must go hear Kurt's wonderful voice on the second verse, especially with Rachel's harmony. It's the happiest I've been since his part in "To Sir, With Love." It's also the only music from the show I have enjoyed so far this year.
("Losing My Religion" was good in the sense that I recognized it, but was one of the times where Monteith's voice just made me want to listen to the original. That's also what I said about the It's My Life mashup and that's on my MP3 player now, but this time I mean it. IML was already a beloved song; LMR merely upgraded itself from "a song on the radio" to "oh, that's what the song on the radio is called." I never even knew the words.
(And while not a favorite, I am impressed with the newly sad, slow rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and 500% appreciate the existence of a musical sentiment now applicable for all hospital vigils in every fandom ever. No, no, not for fanvids, just to play quietly in your head while thinking about it)
* Speaking of, Emma held Will's hand at the hospital. Go, Out Of Context Filter, go, go, go! First idea: Cut Kurt out of the picture (literally), head for season 1 and insert Terri as a car crash victim. This split second just became the best part of the episode for me.
Thank you, Magical Wishlist Supplier
* In Context Filter: Man, that's a whole lot of extracurricular teacher moments for me to hold onto. I love this show for handing out potential tragedy, and while the drama is largely squandered by giving it to Burt and Kurt, it cannot be entirely squandered so long as it involves a student and Mr. Schue provides the transport to the hospital and shoulder-squeezing support after also being the one to pull him out of class and break the news. The dark side of my brain that needs Will to be in a relationship, any relationship, even loves the fact that Emma came with.
* I always forget that Kurt takes French, and is marvelous when speaking it. Snark in a foreign language is the best.
* So long as it's on mute (and not because of Puck, actually, but because the verses I didn't know existed in this song just made me angry), watching the whole club dance around - teacher included - makes me happy.
* My heart swelled with joy in the split second where Quinn beamed at Finn for believing in Jesus. Make that a thing again.
* It is spooky how much the actor playing Young Kurt looks like Chris Colfer. It's almost beyond Idina Menzel. This casting department is made of magic.
* Sue was precious while asking her sister if she believed in God. PRECIOUS. Between that and the incredibly, dare I say, gentle ending in which she actually avoids picking a fight, she just might have been my #2 this hour.
* Parting Macro:
CSI: NY, 7x01, "The 34th Floor," and yes I know I am a week behind but let's pretend I am pairing it up with Miami
Real reason this is late: that teaser was so great I needed ten or twelve full days to roll it around in my brain, savoring every perfect moment of home-invading, tot-threatening, parent-pleading, and family-comforting before I could think about moving on.
Lone misgivings: 1) If her hands really were shaking, then Lindsay's shot seemed like the worst judgment in the world, and 2) way to turn your kid away from the upsetting carnage, guys.
Otherwise? Yeah. I will give Lindsay the benefit of the doubt, because Fierce Mama Bear mode is the most brilliant thing I have ever seen, and if I thought Danny over-emoted in the finale to the point where I had to patch over the worst parts in my brain, every note in this brief bonus continuation of Epic Finale of Epicness was pitch perfect. My delight when reality lived up to the daydream I'd concocted out of the spoilers knew no bounds. (And then as a bonus bonus bonus moment, Mac wordlessly coming over to hug Lindsay. That was my favorite part of the spoilers, but seeing it action, complete with absolutely lovely piano notes rolling over the scene so that watching it 15 times in a row will not drive me insane? Nirvana.)
Five months later, Sela Ward showed up and it all went to hell.
I don't care if everyone has decided to smile and find her charming in an attempt to get us on board and pretend we are not dead of woe that Stella is gone, it turns out I just despise her face. Everything she does just seems so obnoxiously forced. "Must make people like me! SEE HOW WONDERFUL I AM, A HA HA HA HA HA!" Even when she is not doing that, she just crawls under my skin and aggravates in the worst way. Though they are nothing alike, the last time a CSI annoyed me to this level her name was Riley Adams.
So, back to the more fun times of Monroe-Messer, I see we've got another case of hostile "SHRINKS ARE STUPID, RAWR!" That, of course, has never been done on any of my crime shows. Very fresh approach, Linds. I feel like her last round of gun-related trauma should have either taught her the power of therapy, or taught her that avoiding therapy causes you to bottle up until you're a PTSD basket case.
But oh, Mac coming up to talk to her on the roof (yay, yay, yay) -- with bonus Danny waiting in the wings! Featuring all kinds of adorable cuddling and hair kissing, wow, I thought for sure the teaser met my quota of Cute Moments, but then there you go! I might not be able to hate this hour as much as I want to.
Next episode. Next episode the Jo-inspired hate can kick in full force.
Other first impressions
-SWEET JESUS FLACK WHY NO. *flings self against back wall at sight of hair product horror*
-I am really really fond of the incidental music lately and would like to know if it's part of a suite. I've never found any music from CSI: NY like I have the other two; I'm not even sure I know the composer. Do THEY have a soundtrack? Maybe random background composers like my new buddy Jeff Cardoni?
-Like I said before, I'm glad that Stella got a safe exit to go run a lab in New Orleans, although she's so 100% New York to me that I can't imagine her down there, and I still desperately miss her presence - the absence of her dynamic with Lindsay is especially cutting right now, it's temporarily worse than losing Mac/Stella. Also, still peeved that circumstances made her departure a shoddy afterthought.
-Hahaha! I love that they ended with "Empire State of Mind," apparently just to prove how terrible that kind of music is until it's been awesome-washed by Glee.
CSI: Miami, 9x01, "Fallen"
I have no idea what went on for half of it, but I'm pretty sure that as a whole, this was my favorite of the three CSI-verse premieres.
+ Best thing it had in common with NY: the continuation of the loved-ones-in-danger cliffhanger, meaning lots more of Calleigh nearly dying while Eric freaked out nonstop, except for a temporary pause when he nearly died along with her (frankly, I am amazed he didn't kill her outright by dropping her on her head when he fell, especially given that he landed on top of her. Dramatic Fireman Rescue cannot be pulled off through sheer determination, dude; oxygen is required too). Screw logic and just enjoy it. With bonus moments of Horatio trying to rouse her, too, complete with a litany of "Sweetheart"s. Apply your out-of-context filter and take it back to season 3; there you go, there you go. Fun, right?
[sidebar: I like that there are random schizophrenic flashes back to them having sex while Eric's stumbling around dying. What even is that?]
+ Nice to see you, Ponytail Dave/my favorite part of New Miami after E/C
+ I find Jesse's abrupt and unceremonious death hilarious, and I will always find it hilarious. The sadder people act, the harder I have to muffle my outrageous giggles. It's hard to even think of it as "losing a member of the team," really. More like finally swatting a very oversized and very annoying fly. Did I mention that we kicked him out so we could have Eric back? Because YAY.
+ In this new world where I don't hate Natalia and apply my out-of-context-season (4) filter, I actually very much liked her initial grief at Jesse's unresponsive side, sinking against Horatio.
+ "Fallen": Featuring an appearance by Team Delko/Caine Beatdown, Brothers In Dubiously Legal Arms. Always welcome.
+ LOL-ing forever at utterly ludicrous team basketball game closure and its grossly blatant attempt to be heartwarming, complete with Horatio gratuitously sinking a swishy free throw in what is no doubt meant to be some sort of Grand Symbolic Gesture.
+ ...I still think this is a fascinating plot, even though I'm not really clear on how they got from some points to others, and Blondie is still my favorite suspect since Christa Miller.
Mini (SPOILER INCLUSIVE) Reviews, Week 3
-House, "Unwritten": Still adorable, still no words, but House as a complete fanboy of a juvenile mystery series is WONDERFUL. Like, my favorite plot thing since Death Cat. I'm pretty sure I just watched the author-talks-to-her-muse plot on Nim's Island, minus the suicidal notions and medical problems, and this easily matched it. Also, go-carts and Cynthia Watros and double dates. How is this season real.
Raising Hope: I LIVE FOR THIS BITE-SIZED PIECE OF CUTE OVERLOAD. Also, my secret wish appears to be coming true, as it just got a full-season pickup and I will bet $10 that Running Wilde is dead or doomed by Thanksgiving.
NCIS: Gibbs & Fornell have officially taken old-married-coupleness to a new level (hand-slapping, hee). In other news, I wish this show was dead and Numb3rs was living it up. SORRY. My specific grudge is gone, but my grief knows no bounds and while this series has nothing fundamentally wrong with it, it is still slipping into the chore zone normally occupied by SVU. Which, incidentally, this year is the total opposite of a chore.
Law & Order: SVU (12x04): In which Elliot and Olivia temporarily become U.S. marshals - oh good, so we're back to promos that only focus on the last 15 minutes - but still completely nail a wrenching story full of underage human trafficking and a heartbreaking homeless dad who accidentally sold two of his kids there under the promise of jobs in the countryside (because it's the early 20th century, I guess. I hear orphan trains are making a comeback too). Huang has lines. Warner too. It's an episode full of goodies. How is this the best season in years??
Next week: A preview promises the first bad episode of the year, and then suddenly David Krumholtz appears and turns it AWESOME. (let's not talk about his hair just yet) Also: turns out Munch is still on the show. I'm pretty excited.
P.S. HO, WAIT, WHAT, when did new Law & Order: UK episodes start happening? BRITAIN. Since when do you do things on time? Too bad, no room in the schedule right now; try me in December when all is bleak and barren on the broadcast stations.