Did not predict that I would be one of them! And yet, here we are.
Glee, 2x04, "Duets"
Take heed, I just found the first episode with no golden nuggets at all. None. Reporting a zero-percent level of redeemable scenes. Does that make it the worst episode ever? You wouldn't think so to look at it, but yes. I came away from this with little more than a strong sense of I HATE EVERYONE.
It took me nearly two weeks to work up the resolve to watch this. Part of that was being extremely put off by the promos for episode 5, but mostly it was just that Glee is not gleeful at all anymore, and I'm still annoyed by how true this quote is coming: Last year the throughline was about teenage pregnancy. And the throughline this year is really about Kurt and his feelings about tolerance, not only in high school and in the world, but also the ripple effect it has on everybody around him.
(See, that is a TERRIBLE idea. Remember how you all hated my beloved fake-pregnancy storyline last year? I am against this 10,000 times as much.)
I almost hated Sam vaguely less in this, because they wrote his character in a way tailor-made to zip straight to my heart, and it is even possible, that I would have approved him to date Quinn...but Ryan Murphy ruined his potential by mysteriously letting people assume he would be Kurt's boyfriend and making him appear ambiguous until it was too late, thus rendering him incapable of being attractive or shippable with the ladies. No one has ever overridden this handicap except Eric McCormack as Will Truman. Cartoon Lips certainly will not be capable of beating my preconceived notions based on the power of suggestion. Curses. [Edit: HAHAHA! Actually, he will turn into half of my OTP. Prepare yourself, Past Me! Love, Future Me.]
Other Scattered Thoughts
-What is this notion that m/m duets cannot exist? Did you not hear "Dream On"? I'm pretty sure the basic definition of 'duet' is merely 'sung by two people.'
-Yet another character receives a universal dating ban: Brittany/anyone is hereby FORBIDDEN, FORBIDDEN, FORBIDDEN. I skipped both of those scenes and my brain still hasn't recovered from the knowledge of what I later found out.
-SHUT UP FOREVER, KURT.
-Episode highlight, still mediocre level: Quinn's blazing anger and "I don't need you!" reaction while awesomely, viciously recoiling from Sam and putting up invisible walls to protect herself. Quinn is my hero. (With extremely pretty eyes.) Again, one million curses that I cannot appreciate Sam, because I'm pretty sure that all of his responses were perfect-boyfriend responses, and why why why can't he just be like the new, sincere version of Jesse for Quinn. Let's put a sheer-force-of-will "maybe" flag by his name and revisit this later.
-Secondary highlight: Team Asian Fusion's performance, which I grudgingly admit was quite a demonstration; clearly they should have won. Why did Mr. Schue not ban people from voting for themselves? Better question, why is this club so self-centered? I bet Puck would have voted for somebody else. Just because Puck is often the only one to apply logic and reason to glee-related things of late.
-Actual #1 highlight: Rachel ruffling Brad's hair during her duet with Finn, much to Brad's evident disgust.
1) Brittany: [Puck] may be the dumbest person on this planet, and that's coming from me.
2) Finn (to Kurt): I have issues with the fact that you don't understand that no means no.
Also Tina for recognizing that it was only a matter of time before Puck landed in juvi.
-"Don't Go Breaking My Heart" was one of the more ear-pleasing tunes of the season, but this heart of mine is locked in a box and I have determined that no new Glee song shall ever touch it again. When something really blows me away, I'll know. Until then, no benefits-of-doubt and no playing things on loop until they worm into my ear.
Rachel: I think that you and I are a little bit more similar than you think.
Kurt: That's a terrible thing to say.
Me: It really is. Don't degrade yourself like that, Rachel.
Up Next: Rocky Horror Glee. I don't know what the Rocky Horror Picture Show is, exactly, I know only that my college used to send out emails announcing its performance every year and I was always struck with a profound sense of distaste and appall. Mom swears it is not nearly as bad as I think it is, especially by today's standards, but I don't believe her. I just don't trust the sense of impending doom I get. The horrifying costumes I see in the promos are not helping. Unrelatedly, Emma ripping Will's shirt off in the promo worries me a lot, dream sequence or no (also, PLEASE CONFIRM IT IS A DREAM SEQUENCE). I strongly suspect that I will be skipping just as much next episode as I did during this one.
IN SUM: the best thing about this season, so far, has been the in-character Members Project promos that run during commercials. Those are adorable, charming, and so much better than the show itself.
CSI: Miami, 9x04, "Manhunt"
An entire episode centered around Marisol flashbacks, as Memmo busts out of jail and takes great joy in occasionally taunting people about her death? I'd like to say that at some point your seduction techniques are going to stop working on me, but...not today.
It's hard to believe it's been nearly five years since she died and took the show down with her, along with Horatio's humanity. So long that I almost doubt whether Memmo was really hearing, how did he put it, "the sound of a man with a broken heart." Clearly we'll have to run this episode through all kinds of disbelief-suspending wringers and sincerity-laundering, but oh, once we have, think of what we can do with lines like "What's it been, 5 years, since you held your newlywed wife's hand? Still tugs at you, doesn't it?"
And flashbacks! So many wonderful flashbacks that are well imprinted on my brain at this point, but which are always welcome within new episode contexts. There's still like a 50% chance I will cry on any given repeat of "Rampage." I rather wish I had not lost all my writing ability, because I want to be all over post-eps for this, but I wouldn't know where to begin.
Eric's rage was easier to take at face value. I rather liked his blinding, vengeful rage at the end, actually. If he and Calleigh had not apparently broken up recently*, this could have been wonderful discussion material for one of their scenes. Alas, the waste.
[*I rather arched an eyebrow two episodes ago over Calleigh telling Eric she loved him "like family" before strolling out for her own evening plans, but I kind of love Emily Procter's defense: No, they didn't break up! Er, the writers made it look like they broke up, but they totally didn't. In her mind. Aw, actors who ship their characters make me happy.]
Regardless, all kinds of fun stuff in this episode. Like an endless string of shootings/anchor-droppings! Probably I should not sound so gleeful about a killing spree, it's just that I like when crime shows get bloodthirsty and allow their cold-blooded killers without a conscience to succeed time after time without being caught, even while being actively chased by police.
Now, because I am a diligent reviewer
I no longer remember where I was going with this. I guess it fits well enough, revealing that Memmo is way more of a terrifying force than anybody bargained for. Pretty sure he's now the scariest dude in show history. Which made it all the more jarring how gentle and earnest he was in speaking to his daughter, if you forget the string of bodies in his wake. And future course.
IN CONCLUSION: Amazing! And Memmo even escaped to kill another day, thus ensuring that we can revisit all this rich history again someday. In the meantime, YouTube and I have a date with 2006. Sentient Windows Media Player, if you were on shuffle, you'd be bringing up "All at Sea" right about now, wouldn't you? Sure you would.
Silence is empty, filled with breaths from mouths that never move no more...