Predicted Last Show Standing from the 04-05 season?
I skipped the last episode of CSI: Miami because I could barely face the atrocious previews for "Reality Kills," but this line in the recap made me spit out my drink: The man is evasive with them, and Horatio pulls out a machine gun and fires at the ceiling, causing a white powder to come falling to the floor. HAHAHA WHAT. [Edit: And for our next trick, Horatio will throw an attempted rapist through a trailer window. Remember the good old days, when suspects who accused him of police brutality were swiftly proven liars who had injured themselves on purpose?]
Survivor: Favorite new phrases = "Fun as crap!" and "He pissed me off to the highest point of pissivity." You know what Jane is? Jane is like the Betty White of reality TV. Younger, but with complete and total appeal as the funniest old(er) lady ever. I pretty much spent the entire episode giggling at her various lines. And even though I worry that her ferocious strength will make her the unlikeliest potential challenge monster ever and thus paint a target on her back (particularly when she insists on going above and beyond the endurance requirements after winning), it's incredibly satisfying to watch her take the guys down.
Also satisfying: the 1-2 punch of seeing first Marty and then Brenda leave. Truth be told, we've somehow rebalanced the game to the point where the only person I really intensely dislike now is Sash. Naonka has managed to reset to "unpleasant, but occasionally entertaining," and Benry has the advantage of looking attractive, if acting bigshot-douchey. Hopefully Chase is more bearable now that he's not simpering after his crush object.
The pizza/soda/brownies reward continues to be the most mouthwatering combination in the history of the universe. In other news, we found out for sure why Kelly is never allowed to speak. SO OUT OF IT. It's an impressive strategy for advancing yourself far enough to win a nice chunk of money, though.
-Grey's Anatomy, 7x09, "Slow Night, So Long"
The good news is, my love for Cristina didn't break. "Owen told me to get a job, so...I'm working." And she didn't even last one night; helpful.
It turns out they gave away nearly all the best parts in the promos, sneak peeks and promo pics. This was good when I was driving myself wild with curiosity and burning desire to know more all week, but left me a little disappointed when the episode didn't have much else to offer. And yet, not too disappointed, because the way they cut the promo together was full of lies and made Owen seem a lot more incensed about the situation than he was. Which means I spent a week concocting daydreams and possible scene extensions, only to be shown something completely different -- but equally good, if not better. Two for the price of one! Kudos.
The part they didn't give away was Derek abandoning his own celebratory party to keep an eye on Cristina. "She's got a lot of people telling her what to do, she doesn't need to hear it from me. . . . If she's gonna act like a stripper, I'm gonna act like a bouncer." OK, Distantly Protective Derek, calmly drinking water and sitting there to make sure she doesn't leave with anybody, has officially turned into my favorite dynamic on the show. Well, one of them. But it's up there.
Derek: It's not as bad as it looks.
Owen: Looks pretty bad.
Color me impressed by how non-plussed Owen manages to be at the sight of Cristina giving some random guy a lapdance. Also color me amused by how said guy practically runs off with his tail between his legs upon hearing the word "husband" attached to a guy who definitely looks like he could cause you some damage. I can't decide if I should giggle or not at him just slinging her over his shoulder, fireman/caveman style (take your pick), but carrying women in capacity apparently works for me. And it's kind of sweet that he tries to tug the hem of her shirt down.
Finally - and oh, I was most impatient for this moment, and kept yelling at Alex & Meredith to hurry the hell up and go away - who knew that I would ever be fond of a scene that involves someone puking their guts out? At yet, there we are. After a pause to flail about the very pretty & vaguely heart-shaped entrance to their bedroom (removal of double doors?), this scene is aided by the lack of any visuals that medical shows are usually so fond of, the satisfaction of teaching Cristina a swift lesson about her foolish life choices, and mostly Owen patiently holding her hair back and offering water, all while wearing his newly patented Troubled Look of Vague Sadness and a sigh.
(random aside: oh, oh, they have a clawfoot tub! How cool is that?
Related Bits Outside The Flow
Whoops, missed a conversation way back at the beginning:
Owen: She sat on the sofa for three days straight, watching infomercials and eating cereal out of the box, so yeah - I told her to get a job!
Callie: But you didn't specify what kind.
Owen: I thought she'd go to a lab, or the morgue; I didn't expect this.
Derek: Tell her you changed your mind. Tell her she can be a housewife for all you care.
Aww. Also: they just gave you an explicit prompt, fic writers; I expect you're all busily working on those missing scenes as we speak? By the way: this is a very good one to read between last episode and this one. It loses me somewhere around the singing, but that's more my auto-rejection of characters singing in fanfic plus my personal preference that any missing scenes should end, like this episode, on a still-uncertain and angsty note. The beginning played out very well on the mental film screen.
Bonus moment: "I want to talk." That will have to tide me over, I guess, until they actually get to have a conversation again.
Other Storylines (In which I bounce back and forth instead of just sensibly organizing them)
1) This opening scene ("It's night of the living dead out there") is one of my favorites in recent memory, just because it's so easy to forget that Derek is, in fact, running a House for Wayward Surgeons and has a bunch of young whippersnappers hanging around his & Meredith's home like this all the time. It's sort of cute. They're like a litter of aimless puppies. Fine, whatever, I really liked chipper April brightly offering him a freshly cooked 6 p.m. breakfast. MORE DEREK/APRIL INTERACTION @ HOME, PLZ.
2) Speaking of April, besides her smart little green sweater-and-matching-blouse ensemble, I also loved the little French braid over her head. And her WTF reaction to the teenagers, which was matched only by the super-sarcastic dad. And how she was the only one who managed to look adorable and still chipper while munching pizza on the way home.
3) Back to Mer/Der, him flopping down on the bed, teasing that the whole day happened while she was asleep and happily recounting it (while casually slipping in the grant) is one of my new favorite moments.
4) Following up on Jackson waking up screaming every night? NICE. Having Lexie - who lives in the attic, right, presumably much farther away than, oh, EVERYBODY - be the one who comes in to snap him out of it? WTF clumsy forced-romance shoehorning. Why yes. Yes, I am specifically bitter that it wasn't April. I am in fact very bitter that the show is, for the second time in history, apparently determined to screw me over on a second pairing I want but will never have. I haven't gotten over the lack of George/Lexie development. Turning away from Jackson/April is not a nice thing to do.
Still, a highlight of the episode. For AU daydream purposes. And brand new "I finally like Jackson as an individual" purposes.
5) I still don't see the problem with Dr. Stark. If actor love is blinding me, so be it! He is just that great. And Alex and Meredith's scenes were just that endless and dull (although I did like the kid's mom). Even now, apparently, Meredith still cannot hold her own without the company of an approved character.
6) Once again (see episode 5), I don't like having all the attendings taken out of their usual context and made to act silly. At least this time they can claim they were drunk. Turns out it makes Teddy much more entertaining, particularly while snarking at Derek about how he doesn't get to comment on her dating life because he's Mr. Perfect Married Guy. (how much more awesome would that line be if he were not only married, but had not divorced his generally awesome first wife after rebounding with a slutty drunken chick from the bar, i.e. had a backstory of romance that matched the current state of said fake marriage?)
7) Holy crap, I watched the Mark/Callie hookup in its entirety - it must have been way tamer than usual, right? - and did not hate it!
8) I really enjoyed Jackson's hot and slightly manic intensity, particularly with Owen alternately taking charge or stepping back, as long as Lexie wasn't intruding. Oh, show, I waited so many months to get rid of her muzzle, and now this happens. The worst part is that I don't even hate it; he is by far the most suitable boy she has ever expressed interest in and normally Pretty Factor would win out, but -- cannot stop longing for something else.
9) Only redeemable part of Drunk Bailey, whom I really don't like even though everyone else does: strongly vocalizing the need for April to keep her knees together (hah!) and wait for a nice boy - explicitly NOT Alex Karev - whom she loves so much she wants to superglue herself to him. Thank you! Just, thank you.
10) SUPER AGGRAVATING MOMENT: When they're all driving to work in the early evening, April is on the left side of the sreen, but when we cut to a new angle, she and Jackson have briefly switched places in the backseat.
11) Jackson, I'm sensing some role reversal from the time you tried to get Cristina to talk to you and she blew you off by coolly informing you she was just kicking patient sensitivity training's ass. Except then she ran off to sob to Owen. I wonder who I am implying is the Owen in this situation.
12) You know what baffled me most about this episode? (non-sequitur alert!) The prices of drinks. That itty bitty glass of Scotch is $8? EIGHT DOLLARS? One, do you know how many books that could buy? Or pop? Two, geeze, I will never understand why people go to bars. Not that I've ever been to one, but even on TV the atmosphere just looks so gross, and apparently drinks are crazily overpriced to boot.
In conclusion: Now that I've seen it twice, I think I might like it after all. The replay value is strong in this one. I also reserve the right to come back and edit this post with a zillion extra pictures.
P.S. Hahaha! I did not realize this before: Big things happen when Owen shows up late. (and wow, do not remember the one from season 6 even though I only saw it 3 months ago. See what happens when I smush things together in marathon viewings without writing about them?)
-Private Practice, 4x09, "Can't Find My Way Back Home"
Yes. Somehow I'm still slogging my way through it, trying my damndest to appreciate Cooper's face after he learns the truth and his stupid promises to take vengeance into his own hands if need be, and continuing to sop up Pete/Violet. Actually, the latter improved a little this week. Violet pointing out, "You forgave me," went a long way toward repairing the damage (i.e. mentally erasing) the latter half of season 3. It almost made me feel better about how this marriage came into existence, if only because this new theme of Violet playing the supportive wife seems better suited to her character than Addison would have been.
Oh my God, did I just say that? I did! I just had the legitimate thought that the whole domestic dynamic is much more suitable now than it was last year. Addison has slid out of my favor at an alarming rate, to the point where I not only skip all her scenes with Sam to avoid breaking out in hives but can barely stand her as a doctor (woe!), while Violet is softer - warmer. It's really nice to love Violet again, even at the expense of other characters. The half-joking threats to kill her kid for not letting her sleep were a nice start, but then...
"I don't want to do this."
"You don't have to do it alone. I'll be here."
"You don't have to do it alone. I'll be here."
"I did the right thing. I did. Tell me I did the right thing."
"You did the right thing."
"Sometimes lies are good. Sometimes lies are not lies...they're love."
In other news, I really adored the bubbly and vivacious teenage girl, and expect her to either start playing Guest Star Bingo or get a regular role ASAP, so likable was she. Also very much loved Amelia's tearful rant about wishing she'd had her dad.
New favorite moment: Cooper (a/k/a "Husband #2," hee!) coming in to thank Violet with a kiss on the cheek, after a) being grateful that Pete was wearing pants this time he interrupted them, and b) verifying which cheek Pete kissed so he can pick the other one.
And...I can't believe I am choosing THIS to round out the pictures, but I just...like the words. The plain, black-and-white words - out of context, because in practice is just depressing that this Unholy Devil Ship will never end. Ever. It would survive an atomic bomb.
But I like the words.
"I love you. I'm in love with you; I will love you forever, no matter what. This doesn't...I'm yours, okay? I'm yours."
On second thought, maybe I didn't hate this episode as much as I thought. Maybe it was in the top third of the season? There was just so much touchy-feely happening emotional stuff happening all over the place.
I missed it last week, but my favorite thing about this episode was Allison pretending to be calm and go along with Joe's chauvinist-buddy-inspired Greater Good plan before concluding with "STUPIDEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SAID TO ME!" Second favorite: crazy neighbor Laura San Giacomo (a/k/a Maya Gallo) -- keep on casting the old sitcom stars, yeah! - who was clearly evil from the start, but none of us could figure out her motivation for killing her daughter instead of just hiding her away somewhere to rid the neighborhood of perverts. Thanks for the two minutes of resolution at the end there! I swear, these writers don't actually plot out their stories, they just write various twists and turns until they reach the required number of pages, and then a 5-minute warning bell dings to inform them it's time to spill the beans already. What a weird place to cut off.
We're still trying to figure out why Allison randomly decided to go back to law school now, but assume that this was either the show's master exit strategy all along, or is the one they pulled out of a hat as soon as they got the episode cut and assumed cancellation, because the show wouldn't quite work the same if she was busy putting actual trial cases together.
I am reasonably sure I cannot cram anything else into this post, and yet I have so far to go! Stupid weekend disappearing in a haze of work and sleep.