DO NOT WANT
Remember this chart?
WE ARE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH AND I AM A MESS OF EMOTIONS. IT WAS HORRIBLE. AND THEN BEAUTIFUL*. AND THEN HORRIBLE SOME MORE, BUT AS HEARTBREAKINGLY GOOD AS IT COULD HAVE BEEN, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
(*SHOUTING IN STREETS! KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE LAST-EVER THING OF JOY, BUT AT LEAST IT WAS AMAZING)
ALSO: WHAT? WHAT? NO, THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN. I VERY DELIBERATELY DID NOT VOICE THIS POSSIBLE TRAGEDY BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENS ON TV, ONLY MY BRAIN, THIS IS TRAUMATIC; CANNOT HANDLE!
(Ahem! Sorry for the crazy incoherency. It gets better.]
*chokes on own tongue* NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO HAVE ANY MORE KIDS?? You gave her a miscarriage and this? Too much tragedy for one couple! TOO. MUCH. I am still miserable about Minnesota/Eeyore, because I am fully indulging in my 16-year-old hysterical and overemotional side tonight and my brain is going to be Lux's for the next two melodramatic weeks; CANNOT TAKE AWAY MY SECONDARY OTP TOO.
OK, now I'm holding out hope for the future flash.
In other news, I should really be using this endless slog of Baze/Dad Drama Time to update with shouty thoughts from episode 12. In backwards order: despite everything, and the knowledge that he can't say goodbye (WOE), Eric wants her parents to know that he loves her! Present tense! Yeah, that just came straight out of fanfic and happened in canon.
(OH GROSS, BARF, MY EYES, EMMA/BAZE) THIS EPISODE IS THE WORST. WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST; GOD, WHY ARE FINALES SO BAD...ooh, he might actually be rejecting her. That'd be awesome. [Edit: Fuck yeah! That is like the only good thing in this entire hour]
(GROSS, BARF, DO NOT EVEN TRY TO HAPPEN, JONES/LUX. YOU ARE THE TRAGIC GREG/SARA SWAN SONG THAT NEVER HAD A CHANCE IN CANON. Damn it! Why is Lux flighty! I have never hated her before this moment, but I will hate on principle if basketball courts become the new ocean!)
*weepy tears* Oh, St. Ryan/Cate. Love forever!
Cate & Lux: also love forever! (wait, is she actually telling her the story of her and Eric? Because my heart will feel better. True story: one of the ways I have been coping is by turning my brain into Lux's and journaling this story out. Nothing new or unique, or at least not fanfic-worthy; this is just for me. Then I am burying it until June 2012 and seeing how my Lux-brain reacts)
BAZE & LUX FOREVER THE MOST. Awwww, gee --
NO. NO. NO. *HORRIFIED EYES* WHY IS THERE SO MUCH TRAGEDY FOR MY COUPLE??
(two years later)
Oh God, the future is so upsetting right now. Why was Julia pregnant! Why is there a stupid kid!
P.S. *swears* They really did successfully drive Eric away forever. I had stupid hope for the future flash, OK! Maybe a mention! An email! A distant sighting, even without contact! [Edit: God, this is so horribly like letting the
Aaaaand Jones/Lux is a thing. I'm not even angry anymore; I'm just irrationally depressed. Knowing things can't last forever doesn't help!
*is distracted* ...oh God. Oh God, it all fell apart anyway. Ryan is with Julia. Other stuff is blowing up in my face (like, why does Math get to be happy? BOO).
CATE/BAZE ENDGAME. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY. FACT: JULIA IS NOT A SUFFICIENT TRUMP CARD AFTER THE "I REALLY WANTED THIS" CRYING! NOT IN A MERE YEAR (also, your counting is off, if this is class o' 2012, unless this whole show happened in 2009).
Have not actually cried (although you know what's gonna hit me really hard around 2 AM? The compass scene); I am just a ball of raging despair, far too keyed up for anything except screeching and punching-type feelings
*raging despair ball* I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE WORLD OF THE LAST FIVE MINUTES. Make it go awaaaaaay...
[edit: All right, ff.net: 10,000 denial fics, away!]
(a/k/a, this is going to be a bitch to review coherently and rationally. Good luck getting mentioned, all other TV that was supposed to be awesome this week! NO TIME, NO HEADSPACE.)
[Edit: Man, it is a good thing I am anti-Ross/Rachel, or it would seem like soul-punching irony that the first Friends rerun tonight is the one where they spend a whole episode fighting only to break up after all.]