Seriously, did not expect to be this RUINED over my OTP (the one in my icon. Can't even talk about married one yet). There was a brief time in early January where I was actually rationally admitting to myself that even if they were a normal relationship, it probably wouldn't last more than a couple of years at most. I think I still think that, somewhere deep down. But I can't deal with them not getting to say goodbye. I realize most couples do not get a proper goodbye upon breaking up, but there's something just extra specially horrible, after Because the last person's heart I want to break is yours and I don't want you to go anywhere, that their end comes with her in hysterical tears and begging him in vain not to go.
I hate that he never even got to give her that stupid symbolic Eeyore book so she could at least have an inscription to hold onto (did she ever get the photo back from Sam? This is the kind of thing that eats at me) beyond just the heartbreaking note. I hate that he'll never even know if she got that. I want to think she finds a way to let him know, but my brain is too broken to come up with even email scenarios that are plausible.
It bugs me especially hard that she wound up with Jones, because while that was the best possible compromise...why didn't he and Tasha work out? Isn't there Girl Code about seeing your friend's ex? I don't understand why every single relationship got bludgeoned to death in future canon just to prove some point about the bonds of family.
Ugh, I feel like I can't even ship other things right now. Jim and Pam? MEH! Owen and Cristina? BITE ME, NOT SUFFICIENT. It's like none of my ships are valid now because they're not...mine. I think I have been in Lux Brain mode too long.
As ever, please do not call the sanitariums; I am a completely willing participant in my own emotional destruction. I choose to indulge in this state of enhanced melodrama with a clear and sound mind.
P.S. Much like Dido was the playlist for JE, if you need me, I will be rounding up 800 Taylor Swift lyrics for the next several posts about this. It's fitting in more ways than one. Oh, oh, "Haunted" just became the perfect song to close out my hypothetical fanmix, didn't it? LOOK AT THIS LYRICAL RELEVANCE. IT IS RIDIC.
Edit: Or make that the penultimate. Because I just got a chance to see 2x12 again, and the first place I went was to the end, whereupon I heard the music in the very last scene and WAUGH, CAREFULLY-CHOSEN SOUL-PUNCHING LYRICS STRIKE AGAIN:
The best thing I can give to you
Is for me to go, leave you alone
Cause you've got growing up to do...
SO MANY TEARS HAPPENING NOW.