RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Why do I always tack my Oscar talk onto other things?

Last week: 7x09, "Larger Than Life"
The case was forgettable (when did you age 10 years, Sprague Grayden?), featuring one of those losers with a band whose long-suffering wife is tired of the fact that he is still mentally 19 (acceptable reasons for divorce without an acute cause: I'm learning to believe in them!). Oh, and also, he jumped onto subway tracks to save a seizing woman from being crushed by the train. I forget what the medical aspect was. It's been a week.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, it was the one where Candice Bergen is Cuddy's mom, and it is just the greatest thing imaginable. I've gone dark on most spoilers for lack of time -- even simple stuff like casting; half the time I'm lucky to see previews -- so this was a complete surprise, and quite a treat. House drugging her = best, or at least until the moment is eclipsed by Wilson realizing House has also drugged him. But isn't dinner so much more pleasant while they're sleeping? :D

But still, Mama Cud (so flattering, my nicknames) ultimately comes through with lines like this: "I still think you're a pain in the ass with a God complex, and I'll kill you if you hurt her, but I'm glad she has you."

Sub-subplot: Hahaha, ironic Billboard Taub ("because he looks the most trustworthy") is ironic. Random divorce would probably bother me more if I had ever cared about either of them in any capacity. Honestly, they may have been the most boring couple ever invented for television. It was always a mystery to me when they had subplots. Can we be done talking about Taub now? Both in this review and on the show, if possible.

This week: 7x10, "Carrot or Stick"
How is it the end of January and we're only at episode TEN? This is gonna be a bitch.

Another forgettable case (drill sarge/Camp Juvenile Delinquents enrollee are, gasp, secretly father and son!), this one greatly hampered by Martha running around suggesting, with a straight face, that disciplinary camps for troubled teens are Cruel and Unusually Barbaric. Apparently instead of being an acceptable alternative TO BEING LOCKED UP, we should just be extra-nice to the poor troubled lawbreakers until they voluntarily change their ways, and meanwhile send their parents to anger management or something. I don't know, I couldn't process all the stupid and I really do love her.

1) Chase having his Facebook -- and then credit cards -- hacked and merry havoc played with them by a crazy lady from the wedding (who inexplicably waited two months to unleash her revenge?). That was just brilliant; I loved watching him panic every 5 minutes and go on an exhaustive quest to track down the culprit. And in fairness, she was 100% sane, and merely teaching him a lesson about being a sleazeball who ignores women if they aren't interested in one night stands. I was confused as to how she suspected that underneath it all he was a nice guy, until I dimly remembered a brief period in season 6 (and arguably, a chunk of 5) where he was married and charming. Ahhh, nostalgia.

ALSO: CHASE ACCIDENTALLY SLEPT WITH A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD. Laughing forever. And ever, and ever, and ever. Clearly this is my new favorite reveal in fiction, but today I swear I am just appreciating it for the hilarity factor. I do so enjoy watching Chase's eyes bug out of his head while an imagined cacophony of swearing explodes in his head.

[Random note: How frequently do I mention that I love having Thirteen gone while Martha is around? Because I love it a lot; I love how much she is like their little sister (complete with the fact that they have to babysit her for various procedures), and that she is frequently disgusted by their boy antics, and they just ignore her because she's 10. I never want to go back to the boring dynamic of Thirteen holding her own as an equal.]

2) House coaching Rachel (occasionally with clicker training, complete with head patting) to ace her fancy preschool interview playdate. So precious! You have not known true joy on this series until you have seen House sitting on the floor with a toddler and trying to interest her in various toys. And then they took it to a higher plane as he bragged to a random clinic patient about what an adept little liar she turned out to be when the pressure of the evaluation was on. Thick Guy: "Sounds like you're pretty fond of this kid." House scoffs and belittles him for not understanding nuances; he is merely impressed by her talent, duh. Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

And then we get to the last scene. Except for maybe the entire archive of The Daily Puppy all at once, you have never seen anything as head-explodingly cute as Rachel climbing into House's lap and cuddling up against him. I just. !!!!!!!!! I think we are all sporting dopey smiles right now. If not, obviously you're in a coma. Look into that.

+ Clips, compiled!

The next episode somehow looks even more amazing, so let's go.

This was fun last year, so once again I'm going to discuss the Oscars' Best Picture nominees (and then...all of the important actor categories! Emmy-noms style) and vent some feelings I've been swallowing down for the past few months.

On the whole, these seem better than last year's offerings.

--Black Swan
Let me tell you something about this film: it was tailor made for me. From the moment I first heard about it, I said, "Ballet? Natalie Portman? Trippy, psychotic insanity? Mila Kunis? THESE ARE ALL OF MY DREAMS COMING TRUE AT ONCE." ...and then I found out about the gross stuff, and it was blacklisted immediately. Blacklisted with abhorrent disgust, and repulsion. I cannot understand why this film took its potential and flushed it down the toilet.

--The Fighter
What part of "boxing is disgusting" isn't clear to people? It's like the first time I have ever been disappointed in what Amy Adams chose to attach herself to.

Apparently, especially according to LJ, it is the most amazing film ever produced. I just don't think it looks that interesting -- plus, the minute I heard they were trying to be all ~*mysterious*~ and not reveal anything about this film's plot because it was too awesome for words, that was when I tuned it out until I could get my hands on every in-depth and spoiler filled review there was out of spite. Still, compared to the others, it doesn't particularly offend any sensibilities. I'll probably rent it.

--The Kids are All Right
It's hard to imagine a story that would appeal to me less.

+The King's Speech
Ooh! Ooh! A film I respect!! I'm not sure I really want to see it; it looks kind of boring, but I totally respect the hell out of it. It's in my "maybe" viewing pile, and I would certainly be happy if it were to take home all the top honors the way it has nabbed the nominations.

The Social Network
Apparently this one is also the shining star of the year. I just can't see anything even remotely exciting or intriguing about it. My brain glazes over in that gray way it does when people say the word "politics" or "government," even though I know it is about Facebook. Random note: I'm calling this as the winner.

+127 Hours
As if the threat of graphic violence could deter me from anything. I think this one looks intriguing, if only because I have been waiting my entire life for James Franco to play a normal role where I can sit back and appreciate his handsome face.

++Toy Story 3
Well, clearly this should win.

+True Grit
I'm not saying I won't consider seeing this someday for the horses, but every time a preview came on TV, I fell out of my chair and writhed on the ground, howling with laughter at the terrible and unbelievable accents. I don't know how the Old West actually has accents, but they do, and they are bad. MATT DAMON. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR VOICE.

Winter's Bone
I was looking forward to seeing this someday until I read about the actress actually skinning a (presumably dead, but still) squirrel for one of the scenes. No movie needs that kind of realism, and I most certainly do not respect actors who are willing to do such things.

For the following categories, I've italicized my desired pick.

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening (The Kids are All Right)
Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

Oh, this should be fun. I specifically hate everyone and/or their character as well as their films in this category -- except for my chosen option, where I love her AND her film. Clear winner!  Seriously, the degree to which I want to see Rabbit Hole is frightening. It has been so long since a movie that was not based on an existing book/TV series has caught my eye up front. The only other ones from 2010 were Alice in Wonderland and The Backup Plan.

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem (Biutiful)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
James Franco (127 Hours)
Jeff Bridges (True Grit)

Because I adore him so. Would also accept Colin Firth, obviously, who probably deserves it more. Will pitch hissy fit if Javier Bardem wins, because I just do not like his face. Or his natural accent. Same deal for Bridges, minus accent reason.

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale (The Fighter)
John Hawkes (Winter's Bone)
Jeremy Renner (The Town)
Mark Ruffalo (The Kids are All Right)
Geoffrey Rush (The King's Speech)

It's not that we should reward him for poor choices, it's just that I think he's probably the only thing that doesn't suck about that film. That's my compromise on the movie I've watched everyone salivate over: it is allowed to win this single, specific award. (But if not him, obviously Geoffrey Rush.)

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams (The Fighter)
Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

Because she's amazing and has a respectable film.  Whereas Amy Adams is merely amazing. I would accept Hailee just for the kicks of a kid beating out acting legends. The other two are expressly not permitted to take the trophy.

Tags: house, oscars, tv commentary
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