RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

My .2 Cents

Among the many things I love about my dog: her faux-telepathic connection. When she's done outside, she only barks as a last resort -- her preferred method is to walk to the end of her chain, sit down, and stare intently at the house until we appear at the door. She's learned that if she's walking around, sniffing, looking at the street or doing pretty much anything to amuse herself, nobody's going to come get her, so she takes her sentry position seriously. It just cracks me up every time I see her waiting.
-Off the Map, 1x03
DAMN, THIS SHOW IS EPIC. I never watch action/adventure movies, because I think they'll bore me, but this show is a nonstop adrenaline rush every week. Thoughts!

+ OK, now it's just bias. Stop picking special snowflake Lily for the field adventures and banishing Mina to clinic duty. If you ever do need her help out there, she's going to be totally unprepared and you'll be screwed. P.S. Mina = great lady, even if I don't mention her much. See how she Strongly Disapproves of this "partying" business? She is me. She is Blonde Me.

+ Haha, Ben and Lily's flirting has gotten totally shameless. She loved his book! It was so interesting! / Really, 'cause he thought it was boring as hell...

+ Ryan is a HBIC, or at least a BIC in training. Did she just cut down a tree with a machete? Maybe, Tommy. She stops cars on jungle roads by fearlessly standing in front of them, she can do anything. Also, she snarks things that would NEVER be said on Grey's Anatomy, and not because of the tree part:

Ryan: You have to take off your shirt to move a tree?
Tommy:'s really hot here.

+ Meanwhile, I love that Tommy can't stop hitting on everything that moves. AND I'M JUST SAYING, the sheer Pretty Factor of Tommy/Ryan, could almost eclipse her and Ben.

+ Oh hey, I feel like I saw this trapped-and-injured-outside-while-in-labor story on Private Practice. I learned my lesson about getting attached to couples then, and I'm glad it was useful here. That said, I still loved what they did with it.

+ Tommy keeps getting more amazing. You guys, I cannot conceive of Friday Night Lights improving on this. Doctors bring a lot of emotion to the table. They get all kinds of unique situations in which to display their compassion and empathy skills, and/or look gutted when patients die despite their best efforts. How good can Matt Saracen really be? I would be delighted if the answer was "beyond your wildest dreams," but I don't know.

+ Somewhere along the way, Pregnant Lady's injured husband died (at least brain-wise) from his injuries out in the jungle, and Ben lied to both her and Lily about it in order to keep her calm enough to finish the C section. Lily confronts him, he has a mini meltdown that includes shouting about how they're lucky because there's no brain-dead, life-support decision making out in the jungle.

Me: OH! Oh, oh, oh! Do not toy with me. *points warning finger* Do not dangle that possibility in front of me unless you plan to deliver.

*a few scenes later*
Ryan: He lost his wife and kid a few years back.
RS: "AND KID?" WIFE AND KID? Oh my God, between Lily's tale o' woe and this, I could not have devised a more perfect set of tragic circumstances in my wildest daydreams. And as far as "not coming back" angst goes, this just so trumps "cheating but technically still awesome wife I walked out on upon catching her in bed with my best friend."

What do you want from me, universe? Do you want me to make him my favorite new male character? Because he's there. Are you then going to cancel this show on me just for torture kicks? Because I was wrong before; I thought it was in the 10-million zone for viewers but actually it appears to be struggling in the 5-6 million mark. Which are decidedly not great numbers for a valuable drama slot. Enough to limp to spring but probably not beyond.

And her name was, presumably, Abby (favorite!).  And please take note of how somebody just crawled into bed with someone else for comfort and everybody stayed asleep. I am in that rare state of nirvana where I can still accept any pairing at any level of commitment, so I am a thousand percent on board with Ryan cuddling up from behind with her arm around him, while he takes her hand in his sleep and murmurs the wrong name.

Plus according to promos, said wife is actually in a (brain dead?) coma. I don't know how much more concentrated Awesome I can take. Maybe next episode will break the spell? Doubt it. Even Private Practice didn't make me douse my brain in bleach until episode 7 or so.

Community, "Celebrity Pharmacology"
OK, how great was the drug play? I especially liked how, just as I was preparing fighting words about how disappointing it is that the Baby Daddy Drama is really sucking the life out of the series, Chang went ahead and made himself spectacularly useful. The switch from FUN DRUGS! to CRAZY WHACKJOB DRUGS really struck a chord with me. I almost wish I had some life choices to re-examine right about now.

Of course, I was really in it for the lady bee costumes and Jeff & Britta as the cool cats. And...Shirley as a crayon, for reasons that really weren't explained after all. Still! I am not sure anything could live up to the joyous promise of the promo photos for this episode, but I thought this came close. The only disappointing part was when everyone abruptly turned on Annie for selling out and nobody stopped to care why she might need to accept money from Pierce in the first place. Does that sound like something a person would do out of anything besides desperation? Bad friends!

I loved the dean's idea to give the at-risk youth "drug free baseballs." Yes! How could arming bored and disgruntled preteens with solid, aerodynamic missiles possibly go wrong? This also begs the question: can you get drug baseballs? Maybe from Mexico?

P.S. I have never loved Jeff more than while randomly yelling, "Screw you, Abed!" for failing to offer immediate solutions to Jeff's irresponsible texting problems.

You know what bothers me about Perfect Couples, besides the fact that it's not quite bad enough for me to walk away when I'm already watching the shows right before and after it? And besides the fact that they keep sucking me in with the dog? (note to universe, I will require my hypothetical engagement ring to be hung from the collar of a puppy. How have more people not done this.)

Right there in the title, it is theoretically my ideal show. Aren't I always talking about how I just want to watch TV where people are perfectly happy together, screw the love triangles and related angst? I guess what I neglected to specify is that two of the couples should not be freaks. I don't even know which couple drives me crazier, the lobotomized Stepfords or the psycho Springer fodder. Can I please just watch the cute couple with the dog! Maybe they can adopt the psychos' crippled bird to complete the picture.

And the worst part is that I don't have any other 7:00 hour shows on Thursday, so I am stuck with this until the end of the year, a timeslot change, or cancellation. Please make it premature cancellation.
The Office, "The Seminar"
Allow these seminar attendees to demonstrate my reactions to 90% of this nonsense:

+ The David Brent cold-open cameo was great. It did not set an appropriate tone for what was to follow.

+ Jim apparently saw how bad this episode was going to be from a mile away, and got out while the going was good. I wish he'd taken us with him. No, really. It would have been much more exciting to watch Jim kick a rock around the parking lot for 20 minutes. My piercing squeals of frustration when they would cut to him for 2 seconds and then zip back for MORE FUN VOMITING TIMES could have broken a bat's sonar.

+ However, I got a kick out of the final reveal* and subsequent confrontation. I don't know what's funnier: the fact that Tom has been carrying around a bitter grudge about this slight for 20 years, or watching him gloat at Adult Jim, Paper Salesman.

[*for self reference: once upon a time in grade 3, Jim was in a higher reading group than his good buddy Tom. Jim's mom encouraged him to spend more time with the kids in his own reading group, because they would be a good influence on him. Or as he told his friend, "My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with."]

+ Kelly is the fiercest bitch of all the bitches. Shopping Bitch, Business Bitch, Etiquette Bitch... I feel like I need to wash my mouth out with soap all of a sudden.

+ The 30 seconds that Michael spent being an amazing boss were really fun.

+ Kevin, early on: Andy, I'm no Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version, when Jim sees what his future will be like if he never met Pam.
Kevin, later: There are some people who have charm, and some people who don't. Guess which type I am? Cham type!
RS: Oh, Kev. You were being so self aware.

+ In other news, Gabe is apparently a Scrabble wizard. Hot. He would destroy me, because for all the ways I love the game, I am always playing 5-point words and losing to everyone except my parents, know, keep adding desirable boyfriend traits to that list I spontaneously created during Viewing Party.

+ The Scrabble match itself was pretty great when Oscar wasn't being a diva. You see, in a relationship where both parties are functioning at complete mental capacity, this could have been a really good conflict that culminated in Erin finally speaking up about how much this "fun" little method of movie selection bothers her, at which point I indulgently imagine he would feel awful about his insensitivity and agree to watch Wall-E immediately, even if the mere idea of sitting through that makes his brain melt out his ears. I may have projected some feelings on that last part.

(P.S. Die in a fire, Andy. Take your Shrek DVDs with you.)
Tags: community, my dog, off the map, the office, tv commentary

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