I've finally driven my brother to school enough times that I feel safe listening to the radio in the car. Yesterday, after the perfectly permissible "I Look So Good (Without You)," a new song comes on. I'm nodding along to its cuteness, thinking maybe I've got a Music List bite, and then suddenly, "Let's go all the way tonight."
Me: *recoils and glares suspiciously* What the -- oi, is this Katy Perry?
Radio: You make me / feel like I'm living a teenage dream
Me: I HATE YOU,
DIANE SAWYER TRAITOROUS RADIO STATION.
And suddenly, what looks like a random anecdote becomes a transition.
How I Met Your Mother, 6x15, "Oh Honey"
Marshall, answering the phone: Hey, baby.
Lily: We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops.
Marshall: TED'S A SON OF A BITCH!
^ Sometimes, I really love those two.
Ugh, Katy Perry (clearly, this week has been special hell for me). Why do people pay her to do stuff? Clearly she has neither class nor musical talent, nor is she attractive -- her skankitude just obliterates any chance at prettiness. She, uh, reminds me of a walking blow-up doll? And watching her is awful. And of all the terrible musical guest stars this show has cast, she is the worst. Why couldn't we have had, I don't know, someone adorable like Jessica Simpson play Zoey's too-dumb-to-live cousin? I HAD ISSUES WITH THIS CASTING.
Other than that, this episode was amazeballs (a word I have never used before and hopefully never will again). I actually liked the phone call format, which on paper looked boring but in practice felt like you were part of it, and I hadn't even finished squeeing over Ted having fallen in love with her before suddenly, the ending was happening. Reaction:
I AM SO HAPPY I COULD DIE. I have officially found Ted's soulmate after 6 long years of strongly disliking every woman he has ever been on more than one date with except Victoria, and even she did not measure up to anywhere near the level of joy Zoey brings. The ending of this episode made me happier than anything this show has ever done, including Barney/Robin and Marshall/Lily at their sweetest. Watching their faces as each learned the Marshall-relayed truth about the other in turn? Just, bam, soul-exploding perfection. New favorite kiss of 2011!
I just wish there was some possible way she could be the mother. Stupid roommate canon dashing my hopes. BUT WHY? They have amazing chemistry, the whole group loves her (clearly Front Porch material) and they are ever so pretty together. I must have it forever. Tell me I at least get a significant number of episodes out of it? Actually, don't tell me anything at all. I want to believe.
Last note: I loved Marshall's Clue-cards-and-ribbon diagram showing the connections between everybody, complete with dramatic ribbon-cutting reveal of the severed marriage connection between Zoey and the Captain.
Glee, 2x12, "Silly Love Songs"
Ugh, what a nauseating mess. Let's see what didn't make me queasy:
+ Becky crushing on Finn with hearts in her eyes, in the most precious demonstration of a sweet little elementary school puppy love. "I love you, Finny Bear." And then she got her $1 kiss on the cheek, and it was just the sweetest thing.
+ Rachel finally, triumphantly, cutting Santana down with "The only job you're gonna have is working on a pole!", causing Santana to rush out, upset (all she tries to do is be honest and tell people when they suck!), prompting Mr. Schue to at least feign concern by calling after her. She is the toughest nut of the bunch to crack, which of course has only made me twice as determined for him to have reason to deal with her alone at some point.
(I bet it's true, though. I mean, hundred bucks on the table, Santana will absolutely end up on a pole at some point just for the fun of it. She would rock that stage, and it would be the easiest extra cash she ever earned.)
+ Sam: Wait -- hold on, I want to see this.
Sam: I'd prefer "chaperone," and also "boyfriend."
+ Excellently cheesy use of actual fireworks shots.
+ "You mock us, sir!" I love the snooty Warblers.
+ Blaine being effortlessly charming at all times, even at the height of moronic life choices (see later section)
+ I wasn't really feeling Blaine/Jeremiah, until the latter turned him down by pointing out that it would be illegal because Blaine's underage. And then my Inappropriate Shipping Radar went off. (Sigh.)
+ I actually did not hate Kurt admitting his feelings, since it went down exactly like my ideal wishlist entry decreed, with Blaine not reciprocating (...yet?), but being nice about it, and Kurt being openly disappointed but practical about it, and the friendship not even getting screwed up in the process.
+ The internet probably thinks it's gross that Rachel is still begging, even now, for forgiveness at the slightest chance. I think it is lovely, as far as achieving the perfect tone of heart-twinging sympathy. "Why can't you just forgive me?" / "You cheated on me. That means something." [side note: LOL LOL LOL] / "What does it mean, that I was stupid, that I was angry? I don't care about Puck. I don't care about anybody but you!"
+ Finn giving Rachel her gold-star necklace of a Christmas present. (And I feel like some Life Unexpected dialogue just cropped up there: "Just because I can't be with you doesn't mean I don't believe in you." Oh, the daydream playground is so stealing that.)
+ Rachel: She's prettier than me.
Finn: Would you stop? You're beautiful.
Awww! (Yes: my Finn-shipping default is permanently set on wanting whatever I can't have, solely because I cannot have it.)
+ I also loved Nursemaid Rachel, and everything else about this tragic little scene featuring Rachel trying to swallow her hurt over the fact that she'll never outshine Quinn. It fascinates me how easily she accepts rejection and self-deprecates, considering she has no problem declaring herself center stage star when it comes to vocal talent. But this is also what makes me love her, so never change.
+ The lovely shots of Sam whispering in Quinn's ear. Note to self: eventually, we have to rewatch all those hellish episodes of season 2 in order to pick up on where this couple happens in the background.
Subsection Of Joy
+ SAM! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
"Everyone thinks I'm dumb." ("Not...everyone," Quinn lies.) "But I'm not -- at least, not about you. You play it cool, but you're ambitious. You like being the queen bee, and you think being with the star quarterback, Finn, will put you up there whether you're wearing your Cheerios uniform or not. I'm pretty but I ain't dumb." He says, undermining his own claim with bad grammar, but the basic appeal of this scene remains.
What's been gradually drawing me in to them are statements like these, where he is really not a perfect insightful boyfriend, but he tries -- which is more than I can say for Puck or Finn. I think he's more determined to prove how much he likes her than actually loves her (which is why it's a problem for oh-so-much smarter Quinn, who has begun to realize that something cute and nice isn't always enough), but I find his earnestness is endearing.
Plus I've been on...[edit: you know what, by the time I got ready to post, I had spent 2 days increasingly deep in Shipperland and this section had grown ridiculously huge. Meet me in the second cut.]
Back to the bad stuff.
Nauseating Moments About Which I Cannot Hold My Tongue
(so NOT a comprehensive list of all that was yucky. Yes, yucky.)
-Finn was a douchenozzle. Throughout the entire episode (less maybe two scenes), but especially in the auditorium with Quinn. Gross. Quinn was gross about it too, but something about Finn egging her on left a particularly bad taste in my mouth.
-I never thought I would find someone I hated more than Kurt, or Puck, or Emma, or...well, the point is, I want to punch Disgusting Girl in the face more every time she talks. This is exactly what bugged me about Big Fat Manifesto, all that "CAN'T HEAR YOUR CRITICISM OVER THE SOUND OF ME BEING AWESOME" blustering. Somewhere inside of her there had BETTER be a secretly insecure, unhappy, lonely little girl, because I would hate to believe someone can actually be that unpleasant, rudely demanding, and graceless with an ego the size of Alaska, and not just be putting on a front. We already have Santana for that.
(note to self: when you get confused while reading the positive aspects of this review later, remember that this episode seemed mostly about DG's storyline and/or Blaine's storyline and Finn being a douchenozzle.)
-Fact: it is OK to abort performances when they go irredeemably downhill, such as when you start SOBBING WITH EMOTION, or when the guy you are singing to is sending very clear I AM UNCOMFORTABLE, DO NOT WANT YOUR STALKER MOVES signals while trying to inconspicuously run away from you in an enclosed space. Honestly, how did Blaine not imagine the guy might not take kindly to that? I'm surprised he even bothered to make sure the guy was gay. Nice job getting him fired, guys.
-No. Absolutely not. You are not hooking Santana up with Sam. The Sam in my head has gone to visit Quinn (despite the fact that she feels like death and is not in a mood for visitors) while she can't run away, because he knows Finn's not in any shape to come 'round any time soon and he's not done with this. Partly because he wants to get to the bottom of what', but also because he doesn't care what she says, he's not letting her go without a fight.
[Edit: ...fine, you can hook Santana up with Sam if you do it like my new favorite author here, and you don't even have to make it as oddly sweet as that ended up being. Now stop distracting me before we even get to the digression, internet!]
Most was unremarkable. Of those that need mentions --
1) I thought Puck's song was called some variation of "Rockin' World Go Round," and I thought I was familiar with it but obviously I have never paid attention to the lyrics before, because wow, I had no idea they were so terrifyingly awful.
2) The Warblers added music for the Gap performance, and it's...kind of annoyingly stuck in my head now. If not as a song, then certainly as a repeat-viewing-worthy performance -- the choreography was pretty great. I especially enjoyed watching Kurt, oddly enough.
3) I wish I could erase "My Funny Valentine" from time. It is a great horse name, but as music, BLERGH. Even without Tina weeping all over it.
4) No, Rachel. No. I will not let you make this song pretty. Rihanna is my limit. You don't get to redeem Katy Perry's work under any circumstances. *shuts it down*
P.S. I may let Sam redeem Justin Bieber's work. I can't promise I will love it, but I will listen to it. I even listened to the original version of "Lucky" on the radio today, and I still did not love it, but it gave me such happy Sam/Quinn memories that I tolerated it with a smile on my face. Anything is possible now.
As I was saying before: been on YouTube watching fanvids to jog my memory (for my own personal reference: first hit with some dialogue mixed in), and how fun was the science room scene? "That one's Venus -- the planet of love." // "That's actually Mars -- the planet of war." // "Which one are we on?" Fireworks! And, uh, how did I just blow past everything in "Furt"? WONDER AND JOY. I can't remember if I'm allowed to legitimately love this ship -- didn't it start out with Sam wanting to date Quinn as a quick ride to popularity? if so, have we moved past that? I block so much of the show out now -- but I don't care.
+I've been busy trying to cast them in a straightforward modern-day YA romance all year -- it's surprisingly hard to find ones that fit the criteria among what I check out -- and finally scored with Hit and Run yesterday, so that's been influencing my feelings too.
But mostly, it's the seeing-canon-with-new-eyes stuff. Oh, the GleeOnFox account IS going to behave a little...
+ Longer clip of aforementioned cute scene
+ "Lucky," which I just...can't stop watching, and if this keeps up it is going to jam its way into my heart for good. Oh, oh, there is a full version! Their voices together in song are exquisite, and while it's not enough to override the crap song at Sectionals, this one is juuuust innocuous to maybe make it.
+ At Least 8 Things RS Now Loves About Chord Overstreet
...I should have been shown this clip earlier. Why didn't you show me this clip earlier? You KNOW you are under orders to tie me down and force-feed me YouTube clips if they are for my own good.
+ Oh look! I spent two seconds using the most generic keywords possible on Lord Google, and it coughs up a 7,000-word fic that features everything I could possibly want, and was posted in October so I don't have to care if it is too idealistic or not (I am of the opinion that it is not), it just is its spectacular self.
And now, even after saying all that: I came up with an alternate solution on Monday that still needs sharing. You know how the Life Unexpected kids ALSO graduate in 2012? I've been meaning to cross those shows over in college somehow anyway, and now if Sam/Quinn breaks (yeah, I'm still saying "if"), I am secure in the knowledge that my brain will send Sam out west. He can hook up with Tasha while Jones is wasting his time with Lux, and everybody wins at the game of Pretty Factor. Especially poor overlooked Tasha. Cheers!
In other TV news: Matthew Perry was an immediate joy in "Mr. Sunshine" -- see, it helps that "Better With You" came back, because I need a full hour of avoiding bad comedies before I return to ABC -- and it has great potential with greater cast surprises around every corner. Just one teensy little problem: three strikes and you're out; this confirms that I can't stand Allison Janney. I just can't stand anything about her; she gets on all my nerves at once.
P.S. Oh, Marlee Matlin. You're so much better than Celebrity Apprentice.