1. Community: Pretty enjoyable (that librarian is my hero: choosing Troy is the right choice in an either/or "cutest thing that has ever happened to me" contest, and it will never be wrong to admit to doing so "because Abed is weird"), as I will never tire of Jeff being forced to admit he cares about and/or needs other people, but I'm in a hurry so I'm summing it up with two questions:
a) Is it wrong that I wanted Britta/Paige to become a thing? Like, despite the fact that nothing in fandom has ever made me more rageful than the way Grey's Anatomy turned straight women into lesbians by turning friends into lovers, that is exactly what I wanted to go down on Community. You'd think this would conflict with my pro-Jeff/Britta endgame, but nah; Britta is obviously so pretty that I must ship her with everyone. And by virtue of her amazing long hair, Paige was even prettier. Pretty Factor has apparently dispensed with gender boundaries in its need to eclipse all else.
b) Can Pierce be dead? It would be such a poignant ending, and then he would be off my show forever to boot. Two birds with one pill!
+ Somehow, the image of Chang yelling at hermit crabs struck me as more hilarious than anything tonight.
2. Perfect Couples: Oh, god, why won't someone rescue me from this hell. I don't even know the characters' names -- I do while I'm watching, and then they vanish (except for Luke the dog) along with knowledge of all actors who are not Kyle Bornheimer -- but I keep watching because he is adorable, and his TV marriage is just a shot of sitcom-realistic joy, and they keep showcasing the Labrador in scenes. How is that part so appealing, and then every other part so bad?
I mean, not Parks and Recreation bad -- my eyeballs start shriveling in their sockets if they remain in contact with that show for longer than 15 seconds; I've determined it's only one step up from Family Guy as the worst show currently on network channels -- but definitely worse-than-Outsourced bad.
3. The Office, "PDA"
Remember 2 years ago, when the awful Valentine's episode eventually drove me out of the room when I tried to watch it live?
Basically, this episode was designed as one long Torture RS, Torture Her Exquisitely With Custom-Made Torture Devices exercise. They even found a way to wreck Jim and Pam despite giving them their own subplot, because you know I hate them when they're drunk. Drunk Pam in particular, who gets loud and uninhibited and sends my lip twitching, but turns out I'm not real fond of Dim-Wittedly-Grinning Drunk Jim, either.
As for how their subplot developed, with them running around and trying to find a place to lose their office-sex virginity...I'm torn between hating that and secretly enjoying it. On the one hand, on principle, ew? On the other, it is hilarious to watch them debate using Ryan's closet, be caught thinking about it, have Ryan catch on and be totally cool with it, die of mortification, and then die again upon remembering that a camera crew records their lives.
Speaking of which -- all right, camera guys, up until now I have respected your inability to capture X-rated footage in the name of reasonable privacy, but this time they walked into it. I don't have to see it, but we need to know that footage exists. It's important. To people.
Hey, who needs Michael around to make comments? I forget Jim has a tendency to share inappropriate sex life details all on his own. For example, casually slipping in how, in addition to a bed at home, they have a shower. (Well, had. Pam's look suggests he may not be getting much use out of either one for a while.)
Don't worry, that alarming rustling you hear isn't a locust swarm, it's just 20,000 smutfics being born in response to this episode.
I did see some straight-up meta in there, though. That amused me. And by amused, I mean angered me for being true:
"Look at Jim and Pam. They don't kiss. They don't touch. You would hardly even know that they were husband and wife."
In other OTP news, oh my GOD, Gabe just cannot make wrong turns. He dominates Valentine's Day! He almost makes romance into a science! Read: he creates romantic treasure hunts. He even manages to grit his teeth and then smile patiently through the inevitable frustration that comes with dating a mentally deficient girl-child**. His creativity deserves someone so much better.
** ...on second thought, we should all probably be more grossed out when Erin is involved with people. You know what, starting today, I'm just going to pretend she was in a car accident a few years ago and suffered permanent brain damage. That's the only explanation for this, right? And then it could be charming, the way people still love her and do their best to accept how she's changed and accommodate it without treating her too differently from how they did before. Oh, God, that Lurlene McDaniel thing I was talking about just crops up everywhere, doesn't it?
4. 30 Rock
Aw, Carol. I don't care what happened or what anyone says, my heart dances whenever he's around, and when they spend a whole episode at each other's throats, it merely dances a samba. Fighting with Wesley, fighting with Carol; Liz Lemon engaged in a mutual temper tantrum is all the same level of affectionate amusement to me.
And if they're supposed to be broken up now, I'm just not feeling it. Sorry! My brain has no intention of accepting the end of a relationship that takes place 'most entirely off screen anyway. The way I remember it, he absolutely made an unexpected appearance in her room at episode's end to be the one who backed down, thus proving their Meant To Be-ness
In surprising news, Jack and Avery did not entirely nauseate me this week. In fact, I couldn't stop cracking up at all their melodramatic Republican lines.
5. Outsourced: Is what happens when Matt Damon helps 30 Rock pre-empt Private Practice for me and I'm busy working on LJ posts anyway. Inertia, I mean. Inertia is what happens, and then my brain absorbs this crap. You know what really worries me? When I watch this show too often, I think about how much I would like to work in a customer service call center. Steady full-time pay, possibly benefits, not interacting with strangers face-to-face, and being required to follow such obviously scripted dialogue and apologize a lot that it would almost be like acting instead of me having to take responsibility for independent thought.
I'm clearly missing the point that all of these jobs have been sent to another country. But there must be some similar non-sales positions left here, right? Wait, now I'm missing the point about how this show brainwashes me into thinking I want this job. VICIOUS CYCLE.