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Spoiler Reactions

1. Remember the Simpsons episode set at Sundance, where the person in charge  reads out the parameters of Lisa's fresh new contest entry, causing the committee to gasp eagerly after every line until he warns them, "People! You know you have to limit your gasping at this altitude," and then the final fact that she's eight years old sends them all over the edge? THAT IS ME, READING THIS GLEE SPOILER.

"We will get to see Sam's home life

*GASP*

in the upcoming 'Rumors' episode when Finn -- suspicious that Quinn is cheating on him with Trouty Mouth


*GASP*

-- goes on a stakeout with Rachel! Jonathan Groff will reprise his role

*GASP!*

as Rachel's evil ex Jesse St. James in this season's final three episodes. [emphasis mine]

*GASP*

Jesse is back to apologize to Rachel

*GASPING FOR BREATH*

and perhaps get her back.

*GASP/FAINT, despite clear lie of this statement*

All together, then: "We will get to see Sam's home life in the upcoming 'Rumors' episode when Finn -- suspicious that Quinn is cheating on him with Trouty Mouth -- goes on a stakeout with Rachel! Jonathan Groff will reprise his role as Rachel's evil ex Jesse St. James in this season's finale three episodes. Jesse is back to apologize to Rachel and perhaps get her back."

I love everything this spoiler chooses to be, except maybe the Finn/Rachel stakeout part because that way lies boredom. Likelihood of Quinn actually cheating with Sam: low, and probably something I should not wish to happen given that it would be a really sucky move on both their parts, but I find that my convictions go all hazy and morally grey against the prospect of having the Blond Bombshells back together even for a moment.
 


-----------
Meanwhile, this news was greeted with less of a gasp and more of a loud curse:

SAFE

EXTRA

SPACE

Callie and Arizona will get married in an outdoor ceremony officiated by Bailey.

The appropriate Simpsons sound bite here is the noise made when Sideshow Bob steps on a rake:

 


3. Edit (and not a spoiler): This is gross (the kind of gross one only finds in Cosmo), but all the reactions below it made me laugh so hard I cried.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
eleigh
Apr. 6th, 2011 02:01 pm (UTC)
3. That is so so gross. Not to mention I would think just a little left of sanitary. And gross.
stunt_muppet
Apr. 6th, 2011 02:32 pm (UTC)
3. Oh, Cosmo. Don't you know that that way lies yeast infections?

A friend-of-a-friend actually made a post full of hilariously bad Cosmo advice complete with commentary. Most of those tips will similarly end in discomfort or yeast infections, so I can only conclude that the people contributing these "tips" have never actually seen a woman.
poinsley
Apr. 6th, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness, that list.
rainbowstevie
Apr. 7th, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
That list is AMAZING. Thank you so much for linking it, this page could fuel my laughter for days.
poinsley
Apr. 6th, 2011 10:16 pm (UTC)
3 = yeast infection. Have fun with that!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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