RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

"Let's go home."

The one good thing that came out of yesterday:  Someone just put forth Catherine Tate's name as a contender to replace Michael Scott. SWEET BABY JESUS, STOP LOOKING, YOU HAVE LANDED ON THE RIGHT ANSWER. This plan is failproof. You cannot create a character Catherine Tate would not make hilarious and/or likable.  She could be the same character as Michael in another universe, and I would find the same lines charming and sweet and wonderful. Permanent residency in Scranton seems unlikely, but a girl can hope.

Off the Map, 1x13, "There's A Lot to Miss About the Jungle"
WTF, show. That was not a satisfying conclusion at all.

OK, granted, I very emphatically decided, "Screw everybody," and skipped nearly every single scene that did not include Keeton, but that is just a cruel place to leave a cliffhanger. I know I'd heard it was ending on a cliffhanger, but I sort of hoped it would be a gentle cliffhanger based on Lily/Mateo? Or any of the other ships I don't care about, or really anything except Clark's storyline.

And now that I don't feel stupid for saying it, I was totally right -- once I saw Jonah's name on the guest star list, I hypothesized that the "difficult call" would be whether or not to give her an ill-gotten heart. "And the answer better be 'no,' because I don't think she'd forgive that if she found out." Now that the answer is "maybe, possibly, probably," I am jaw-droppingly appalled but still not in a completely condemning mood yet, because he knows he's about to go down a real dark road but "we go to extremes for the people we love." I love the blatant hypocrisy. I also love that he's really prepared to do it, that saving her has become a manic obsession heedless of outside factors, including her own wishes..

I'll tell you where my allegiance threatened to turn, when I saw the Episode 2 look come out for last scene with Lily. HEY, LET'S BACK UP OFF THAT. I realize it's your last hurrah/chance to feed those shippers, but it is decidedly unfair to have him noticing a rash on her face and engaging in the appreciative "my how you've grown into an idiot and become a rebel badass since you got here" conversation in an episode so lacking in Ben/Ryan action. One heroic taxi-service carry through the jungle does not a sufficiently happy RS make! And granted, the look on his face when he realizes Ryan's giving in is marvelous, but you know what's not marvelous? That they end their last-ever scene with a foot of space between them.

EPISODE TEN RESET BUTTON, STAT. I WANT TO FADE OUT ON THAT. That hug and the achingly beautiful music that still haunts my dreams.

I greatly enjoyed the first 2/3, though, between the immature Ben/Mina bitching until Ryan finally orders them to shut the hell up, the decidedly awesome scene with Ben making travel plans in five minutes flat (with the aid of Zee & Cole, or at least Zee, helping pack), followed by their demands for at least one day of their eight months worth of overdue vacation. And the whole epic truck ride in general, though was decidedly put out that we were shortchanged having Ben & Ryan on an emergency accident scene full of adorable little girls (how cute was that too-brief conversation with the pinned girl?).

Other things:
* Opening scene of win, as a very annoyed Charlie discovers Tommy's night-eating habits while said night-eater curls up on the couch and moans about his poor broken heart, almost literally wallowing in self pity. Bwa-ha-ha.

* You know what I have not seen enough of? Ben issuing orders in Spanish

* I think maybe Ben striding around the side of the truck and pulling Ryan out to carry her to the plane might be my new favorite scene of theirs. Or at least my #1 Big Damn Hero moment for 2011 so far.

* Maybe I will appreciate the (PLATONIC, TOTALLY PLATONIC, IN CONCLUSION: PLATONIC) Ben/Lily moments more in retrospect. It's just hard, you know? It is so hard when will obsess about nothing else. My favorite gem so far is a story set in present time that basically opens with "Ryan told Ben he was like a brother and disappeared into thin air, AND THEN SEXY TIMES WERE HAD BY ME LILY AND BEN." I wonder what it's like to just not give a crap.

* Lily wheedling back scratching out of Tommy during this week's pep talk/confessional/counseling session. Wonderful.

* I already saw a promo pic with Mateo's abdomen looking decidedly bloody. I don't care what happened to him in the episode; in my world he's a dead dude.

* Roughly half of Mina's storyline, which was so! close! to being interesting enough to rip my attention away from Clark, but ultimately, her collapsing on Tommy for emotional support was promo-spoiled, so about halfway through I gave up. What was not promo-spoiled was his "I'm in love with you" remark, which was an EXCELLENT place to end, and given the bombshell effect, not the kind of thing I need to see resolved. I'm telling you, if not for Ryan's heart, I could live without this show returning.

[edit: ah! almost missed the last shot of Ryan, asleep in a clinic bed, while skipping over Zee's boring relationship nonsense. Forgot there was friendship stuff likely to be mixed in there. Aww.]

I wish I could think of a succinct way to summarize what I want to happen on the 99% chance that this show doesn't come back, like I did for The Class, but I'm afraid Future Me is out of luck. Other than MORE INTERACTION between Ben and Ryan, I honestly don't know how I want that dilemma to go down (but I suspect we will miss out on some prime tortured expressions), or whether I even want her to live or die at this point. My brain has played with every possible outcome in the past week, and ultimately, it seemed pretty down with her resigned decision to go quietly in a familiar place. But my brain also can't imagine the clinic without her vibrantly-full-of-life presence coming back one day, so. I need canon to choose.

On bright side, this sputtering fail of a finale cooled the red-hot fires of my Shiny New Obsession Love down right quick.

Tags: off the map, series finale, speculation, spoilers, the office, tv commentary

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