RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

For A Few More Finales

Made time to watch Hawaii Five-0, mostly on a whim after not having seen the promos, but I'm glad I did.

Wow, how many ways did that end badly? Governor's dead, some aide I'm not clear if I'm supposed to care about is also dead, Steve's getting packed off under arrest for one or both murders, Kono is also under investigation for nefarious money-stealing deeds (damn you, nosy old neighbor lady), Chin is...I'm not real clear what's going on in his head actually; Rachel is pregnant (woohoo! morally gray RS-approved adultery!) and there is no way that can end well because she wants to leave Hawaii and I'm pretty sure there is no show without Danny, so.

Is probably a bad sign that his team decided to jump off the Crazy cliff and prevent him from meeting them at the airport, though. You understand, right Rachel? I mean, this was some unusually bad, Jack Bauer levels of having everything go wrong that could possibly go wrong.

Despite the fact that I was playing Key Quest throughout, I was valiantly trying to pay attention to the plot, which pretty much exploded my head and required a lot more concentration than I was prepared to give. When did you get complicated and compelling in the plot department?  This might even be the best episode of the season.

Can we circle back to the sweet opening scene in the morning (okay, fine, now I ship them a lot)? And then talk some more about the part where she's pregnant and Danny is definitely the father, now let's put this family back together? OK. Because I keep waiting for her to get cold feet or turn and flee, and she continually surprises me by staying put (ignoring any ~foreboding signals~ this episode might have left us with). I think what's really drawing me to this is, again, how laid-back his approach is. Where he's clearly very invested in making this work, but not desperate. I like how calm and weirdly drama-free it's been so far in my two episodes of it. Again, shut up, future!

Starting to maybe be a little glad I didn't follow my first instinct and trash the Watch! magazine with this cast on the cover and a featured article within.

I'm going to stop talking now; my head still hurts trying to process the plot.

To my distinct lack of surprise, this show is more excruciating to watch than the one above usually is. At least Hawaii is full of eye candy. This is just guns and action and and spy technology all the time that Chuck and Sarah are not being YouTube-quality adorable. NO THANK YOU. By far the worst part is Morgan, who is completely unbearable. He's like a yappy little terrier you just want to stuff in a bag and dump off on the side of a highway somewhere. With the bag sealed shut.

I do love me some Timothy Dalton, based on my one previous experience with him on Doctor Who. If Timothy Dalton was on this show all the time it would be a better product.

Really, the only useful part of the entire plot was to hear Chuck repeatedly and with increasing desperation mention how Sarah was dying and beg for the chance to save her.

Can I just say: worst promo ever. You can't just give away a wedding when there's a life-or-death situation happening in the episode and then have it be exactly what it looks like! Where's the suspense, the anticipation, the danger? I'm a random average viewer, exactly the sort you're supposed to trick to make them tune in! I spent the whole last 7-10 minutes convinced this was Sarah's hallucinatory dream sequence because that was the only plausible explanation for why they would have given that away early. It's not Jim-and-Pam levels of life-affirming here, NBC. I don't care how forgone and inevitable this conclusion was, your job is to misdirect.

But all of the above is unfair judging, given that I do not actually care about anything except my ship. While the sneak peek clip is still my favorite part, there were at least two more rounds of bedside handholding and fretting, so I'm good. Even though I maintain that the jump cut from the final antidote to the wedding was ridiculously abrupt and poorly transitioned.

The wedding was picture perfect, so kudos for giving Jim/Pam's nonsense a thorough trouncing. I can't even remember the last time I saw characters get married in a church without a last-minute hitch. It has met all of my demands ever for a TV wedding, right down to the pretty dress. It might -- brace yourself -- actually be the best TV wedding of all time. I don't know. I'll have to watch it a few more times from the perspective of believing it's real.

And despite the fact that I have been mainlining all of those clips and then some quite recently, I still went all flaily at the montage o' past moments as they headed out of the church.

Last note: Sarah's flashback vows may or may not have made me tear up. I am against 99% of "write our own" vows on TV, because they are excruciatingly cheesy and awkward and just, FOLLOW A PRE-DETERMINED SCRIPT AND STOP EMBARASSING YOURSELF, WOULD YOU, but those were amazing


And just because I can,
How I Met Your Mother, 6x24, "Challenge Accepted"
This show's finales always disappoint and underwhelm.

What did we learn, really? Ted Mosby is still a jerk whom Zoey is definitely too good for, but on the other hand, she now lives with 22-year-old drug dealers and she actually wants him back, thus negating all the satisfaction of the previous episode. Now she doesn't even get to have the last word or an apologetic gesture; she just gets stood up. Forget you, Ted.

And forget you too for stopping him, Barney & Robin. Especially when they spent the whole episode conversing in unbearably awkward doublespeak about their lingering feelings for each other until Nora showed up. Like hell that's happening. Whatever. If Barney's getting married in the future, then I just flatly disbelieve it is to anyone except Robin and refuse to have any particular emotions about it. The end. (I still can't believe that wedding was supposed to be the "season long mystery." Number of times I thought about it since the premiere or was intrigued by it at all: zero). 

Don't forget the subplot full of vomiting. Yeah, that's definitely funny. No, it is not worth it for the reveal that Lily's pregnant. Not even a little bit. Marshall planting a series of tiny kisses across her face was adorable, but that was literally the only good part of the episode other than Chi McBride being his gloriously deadpan-snarky self, so.

Moment of Extreme Pain: watching the Arcadian collapse and Zoey's memories crumbling to dust. New is NEVER better. Not unless you're buying clothes or possibly a car.

Moment of Extreme Rage:
Marshall: How did we kick off 2011? My dad died.
RS: OH MY GOD. *hires Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick him in the face*

I only want one thing out of season 7, and it is to have an episode in which no one makes even a passing reference to his dad's death.

Tags: chuck, h50, how i met your mother, tv commentary

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