This is always my favorite part of the year. Most exciting for me is that this is the first year all 3 have behaved themselves and released the same number of episodes so I don't have to get creative with the matches. (also, true story, the only positive factor in CSI: NY not being canceled is that I can continue to play this game)
1. Choose 2 or 3 similar shows, or seasons within a show
2. Grab a list of each one's episode titles for the season, and pair them up by week (If seasons do not have an equal number of episodes, either combine 2-part finales or skip the penultimate episode - make sure you rank finales against one another)
3. Bold the winning title and offer a brief line of commentary explaining your choice
4. Tally the winning competitions and crown a champion at the end!
(format: CSI vs. CSI: Miami vs. CSI: NY)
Week 1: Shock Waves vs. Fallen vs. The 34th Floor
Everyone had strengths and weaknesses so it took me 2/3 of the year to decide, but after careful reflection and the decision that Justin Bieber is not the worst thing in the world, CSI had the fewest weaknesses.
Week 2: Pool Shark vs. Sudden Death vs. Unfriendly Chat
Am I actually letting NY win for introducing me to cool music? Yes. Yes I am. That's how unmemorable this week was.
Week 3: Blood Moon vs. See No Evil vs. Damned If You Do
CSI created something really legitimately scary out of Vampires vs. Werewolves.
Week 4: Sqweegel vs. Manhunt vs. Sangre Por Sangre
I think we all agree that Memmo and Marisol flashbacks take the cake. Especially considering I literally fell asleep during the other two.
Week 5: House of Hoarders vs. Sleepless in Miami vs. Out of the Sky
Oh, way to obliterate the competish, CSI.
Week 6: Cold Blooded vs. Reality Kills vs. Do Not Pass Go
Animatronic dinosaurs = automatic win.
Week 7: Bump & Grind vs. Blood Sugar vs. Hide Sight
Again, I fell asleep watching all of them, but NY was just barely the least boring of the three.
Week 8: Fracked vs. On the Hook vs. Scared Stiff
One I listened to with my eyes closed, the other I didn't even bother to hear, and one blew me away. Oh my God, NY, comin' alive! (in a manner of speaking)
Week 9: Wild Life vs. Happy Birthday vs. Justified
Ordinarily I would say "Parrot + Sara/Greg feature FTW!", but, well, I have Marisol-flashback-shaped priorities. When Miami comes alive we should listen to it.
Week 10: 418/427 vs. Match Made in Hell vs. Shop Til You Drop
Holy crap, the spinoffs are actually going to fight it out. Ryan being charmingly White Knight-ish, or NY actually having a watchable plot? Should we reward NY? Let's do it. That one feels more solid. Was a real good Christmas outing, and I've been thinking about it all year.
Week 11: Man Up vs. F-T-F vs. To What End?
At this point, Vegas establishes it will be coasting to a win while the others start sleepwalking. It won based on only half an episode.
Week 12: A Kiss Before Frying vs. Wheels Up vs. Holding Cell
No contest. Greg gets a love interest and stars in an excellently crafted plot.
Week 13: The Two Mrs. Grissoms vs. Last Stand vs. Party Down
Even less contest. I see you making feeble attempts to get up, spinoffs, but they are laughable in the face of the OVERWHELMING MAGNIFICENCE.
Week 14: All That Cremains vs. Stoned Cold vs. Smooth Criminal
Stiiiiill no contest, but part of that was me disqualifying Miami because I can't look at stoning victims. The idea is too awful.
Week 15: Targets of Obsession vs. Blood Lust vs. Vigilante
Miami's serial killer was quite scary, but as I'm in a biased mood...take it away, Biebster.
Week 16: Turn On, Tune In, Drop Dead vs. Hunting Ground vs. The Untouchable
Ooh, everybody ready to fight for my love this week. I'm going to let Miami have it on the grounds of "season highlight" and "NY should not be so far ahead of it in the trophy count thus far."
Week 17: The List vs. Special Delivery vs. Do or Die
Alas, the only one that actually caught my interest this week was NY, thanks to the Life Unexpected alum/prep school lols.
Week 18: Hitting for the Cycle vs. About Face vs. Identity Crisis
Back to CSI we go.
Week 19: Unleashed vs. Caged vs. Food for Thought
I'm disgusted with myself for letting a Lady Heather episode win, but the other two were SO BAD. At least Sara also starred in the episode and I had fun yelling at it.
Week 20: Father of the Bride vs. Paint It Black vs. Nothing for Something
I enjoyed Miami, but from this point forward, spoiler alert: CSI sweeps May sweeps.
Week 21: Cello and Goodbye vs. G.O. vs. Life Sentence
Back to the "no contest" realm.
Week 22: In A Dark, Dark House vs. Mayday vs. Exit Strategy
NY is showing signs of life over there, but nope. Not even close.
MIAMI: 3 (I AM DISAPPOINT. NY was so bad I thought for sure this could be the first year Miami didn't lose...)
And since I'm in a mood to rank stuff, before Office Tally starts its Office Survivor poll and I spend the summer getting increasingly angry, here is what it looks like in my ideal world. Maybe. It's actually really hard to rank this year, so I think if everything comes within about 3-5 positions of where I put them on this list, I'll be good. Of course, even that's too much to ask of OT.
- Threat Level Midnight
- Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager
- Viewing Party
- Garage Sale (a/k/a "The Proposal")
- Classy Christmas
- Goodbye Michael
- Michael's Last Dundies
- The Search
- Costume Contest
- Search Committee
- The Inner Circle
- Andy's Play
- The Ultimatum
- The Christening
- Todd Packer
- The Sting
- The Seminar
- Sex Ed
- Training Day