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Three more flist members turned into or were revealed as Parks & Rec zombies this week. Why is this the single most universally-liked-at-one-time show I've ever seen you guys agree on?  It grows tiresome, flist. And I've seen the show! I have actually seen five or six episodes -- admittedly none from this season -- so it's not like I just assume I hate it; it is uniformly horrible. Amy Poehler: THE WORST*. Chris Pratt: ALSO THE WORST*. I want to light them on fire every time they open their mouths. Or stand silently in the frame. Actors and characters are equally unbearable. Several other actors/characters are also awful, they're just not as bad as these two, who go beyond normal levels of TV-bad.

(**To back up these claims, in my viewing repertoire I hold, respectively, Baby Mama and The O.C.)

I keep hearing people talk about the ships, which is not a viable angle, because the whole problem with this show is that none of the people are attractive. I don't deal in fictional relationships unless at least one member of the party is genuinely attractive (exception: couples married at least 30 years). Ann is the closest thing to normal/attractive, and my feelings on Rashida Jones cycle back and forth depending on how recently I've seen season 3 of The Office; also, the haircut is a real detriment to her prettiness. April almost had some potential, until I heard she was with Chris Pratt's character, and: GROSS. SO GROSS. Characters can be ruined by their proximity to horrible characters, you know. Which is why Adam Scott, who had just the tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniest bit of potential (not much, since he's less "attractive" and more "doesn't have disproportionately large eyes") has no shot.

[Now, if there has been a disgruntled civilian shooting up the office, someone nearly dying in a car accident, a cancer diagnosis or similar mortal peril in which a 'ship was involved, that would potentially override the default controls. If not, you are out of luck.]

Leave the shipping out of it, and you've got nothing but a bunch of disfunctional freaks who embarrass the hell out of themselves and act like clueless idiots over and over and over again. I hate this. Not only is this show unforgivably stupid, it is unforgivably unfunny. You have to pick characters or humor to be a quality comedy. This show has neither, and its similarities to the many awful aspects of The Office become glaringly apparent without a central OTP to distract you.

[I want to stop here and make sure I underline how really, truly bad The Office is at its core, especially in the days of season 2 and 3, even though it is my most-used of all the TV tags and thus gives the illusion that I love it. I definitely do not go around telling people to watch that show. It is merely a vehicle for Jim and Pam.]

If you need to watch a show set in Indiana, which you should because the midwest is the best, I recommend The Middle. Everyone should talk a lot more about THE MIDDLE. In conclusion, The Middle. Look it up and get to know it.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 31st, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
Were the Parks & Rec episodes you saw from the first season? If so, that explains everything, because the first season is terrible, and after that it becomes delightful and wonderful and good.
May. 31st, 2011 08:57 pm (UTC)
I'm wondering this, too, because I agree.
May. 31st, 2011 10:50 pm (UTC)
Nope. All season 2. Also, this post was just a working draft and I didn't realize it had posted (I was wondering why my draft didn't save...), so...I have to edit some stuff.
May. 31st, 2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
I do watch "The Middle" and enjoy it. They have the teenagers spot on, especially the older one. Multiply him by 10 and you have my 10th period class.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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