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How To Flirt With Chicks, Sometimes: Make a comment about their dog, when you see them walk directly past you. Note that this should not, however, be attempted with chicks half your age.

How NOT To Flirt With Chicks: Slow down in your car and stop when, two blocks later, you see that chick and her dog in their own yard and yell, "Hey, I just saw you over there! You got a boyfriend?" But again, especially do not attempt this when you are roughly FIFTY YEARS OLD. (Also note: if you have already made this error, then when they respond in the affirmative, you know what you should definitely not do next? Say "Really?" like there was a chance I might have gotten confused and need a second chance to answer.) Creepy perv! Now I have to live in fear that you are a neighborhood axe murderer/serial rapist instead of just a bored old dude with nothing better to do on a Tuesday night after leaving work. 
Speaking of obnoxious people...
Dear England: you're a civilized country. Act like it, you bunch of whiny bitches. (just the part that's rioting. not the normal people)  I don't want to see articles like this.
Unrelated thought: File under "YA novels I would like to see written" -- how about one featuring a high school senior's dilemma about what do with her horse now that she's leaving for college? There is about a 2% chance of finding a horse in a a book with a character over the age of 13 at ALL, and if you do, she's probably a serious show competitor or somehow involved in racing. What about the thousands of people who have backyard hobby horses? The one person I knew with horses never gave hers up, but the "off to college, must sell" plot seems to be the story in countless horse-for-sale ads across the internet. Why not an actual book?



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 11th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
Urgh, I used to get "flirting" like that all the time out in L.A. Always from guys who were clearly a decade or two older than me. Always creepy.
Aug. 13th, 2011 02:44 am (UTC)
Why must they be so creepy??
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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