, whereupon I discovered that it contains a cut of "Death and All His Friends" that is roughly 15 minutes longer. JOY. I will never cease to be blown away by how perfect that year's finale was, or saddened by how I went belly-up in "too overwhelmed to cope" surrender and did not give it even 10% of the Epic Post treatment it deserved. I'm not doing that today, either, but I am going to quickly jot down some more of the things that stuck out to me:
+ There seems to be just a huge chunk of Mark/Lexie that got cut out of the aired edition (boo!), and because we now live in a world where I ship that as long as she's upset and they're not actually together, I cannot get enough of his face. I can almost put up with the gross way Lexie is sobbing over ALEX of all people and talking about how she loves him, if it's going to result in her crying incessantly while Mark looks gutted. And/or hugs her at appropriate moments.
Once more in large version, to appreciate Mark's face before I remember why I usually call him McSleazy.
p.s. Why am I so lazy that these are the only snapshots I bothered to take before returning the DVD??
+ It's been a long time since I watched this straight through, as opposed to just zeroing in on the parts where both of my OTPs are involved in gunshot wounds (more on that later). And by that I mean I was a festival of waterworks and cried my way through the entire second half while Bailey tried in vain to save Dr. Percy. And then some more when Bailey lived up to her promise, even when it turned out Reed was dead too.
+ Hated the Owen/Teddy scenes way less this time around, since my current coping mechanism for season 8 involves shipping them like a madwoman -- assuming Henry is not long for this world, and also because if I could go back...well, I suppose I wouldn't trade the OTP I had for the world, but it sure would have averted the later crisis.
+ Derek getting shot (within Meredith's view, while the latter is wrestled out of sight by Cristina) just may forever be the gold standard of TV Tragedy. There is nothing about this that is not freaking brilliant, including but not limited to "Kiss me" / compliance / "I'm not gonna die." That, and I'm sure you can guess how I feel about the Derek's Angels component of Meredith, Cristina & April being the three to get him from the catwalk to the OR. I could not dream up a better first response team if I tried.
+ The first time I watched this, I may have fallen out of my chair when we switched into the OR and found Cristina with a gun to her head. And Owen was there. What is that! What is that! Were the six or seven specific Tragic Scenario wishes they already granted me not enough? Apparently not, because they keep right on going. First they shoot him, and eventually April & Meredith are dispatched to take care of him with, "I'm trying to save your guy, now please go try and save mine." (One of my all-time favorite Cristina quotes.)
+ Speeches that were really pretty in this episode: Derek's voiceover, April's stammering rundown of her life because she saw on Oprah that they're less likely to shoot you if you tell them details about yourself, and best of all: Meredith's profound "Shoot me" offering. It's actually a very selfish thing dressed up as noble sacrifice, because who wouldn't rather die than live with that kind of grief? (possibly only me) But the way she calmly rationalizes it just kills me, every time. "You want justice, right? Your wife died? I know what happened, Derek told
me the story. Lexie Grey is the one that pulled the plug on your wife, she's my sister. Dr. Webber, he was your wife's doctor. I'm the closest
thing he has to a daughter. And the man on the table, I'm his wife. If you want to hurt them the way that you hurt, shoot me. I'm your eye for
-- The worst/only bad part of the episode, besides Callie/Arizona and the sheer ridiculousness of a sniper managing to wing the shooter but not actually kill, incapacitate, or even slow down him down enough to catch him, is still the extended talk-off between the Chief and Mr. Clark at the end. It was bad on air, but in the extended version, it takes six full minutes. And it is such an unparalleled snorefest; my god, condense that crap down to 35 seconds and keep Mark & Lexie on the curb, please and thank you.
+ To recap: the wishes this finale granted like a genie were as follows:
1. Revenge-bound gunman loose in the hospital, shooting people left and right (resulting in people both fleeing the scene and hiding away quietly)
2. Main character shot
3. In front of your significant other (bonus: this scenario happens twice)
(double bonus: it happens to my two favorite pairings)
4. Gun to your head in front of your significant other (bonus: defensive/protective threats in response)
5. Trying to take care of a serious gunshot wound without sufficient equipment (bonus: this scenario happens twice)
6. Watching someone you care about losing the person they love (I'm taking mild liberties) and not being able to do anything about it
7. Character death significant enough for strong emotional reaction, but not enough to affect the show
9. Post-danger reunion hugging (Mary & husband, and may I add how impressive this part is, since you usually have to choose between significant others being together during the intense part, or getting that reunion shot. Of course, you also usually have to choose just one couple to affect in any given Serious Danger episode, instead of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER; I need to remember how much I love Shonda for this even as she burned the world down a year later)
I am quite confident no television show is ever going to top the sheer quantity of mass tragedy & dramatics here, and that is why it is among my All-Time Top 50 Episodes of TV. Which I suppose means that, at this point, it has also become my favorite episode of the series.
Next, I finally got around to seeing the Seattle Grace: On Call webisodes featuring my beloved background interns, specifically Adorkable Steve! And his new wife, Ultra-Pretty (Pregnant) Megan. It was all great for about five minutes (literally), and then went down this horrible decline that I suspected was coming and yet could not tear my eyes away from, ending with the apparent implosion of their marriage and heavy hints at future Steve/No Neck. DON'T THINK SO. And since I can't remember when the interns were last mentioned or if we ever found out what happened beyond that, I'm flushing the yucky ending out of my head and remembering nothing except how enjoyable it was to get to know them a little better -- if I ever rewatch episodes they're in, it'll be as fun as seeing characters from another show cross over.
And it was great to see some bonus footage of Charles & Reed -- I'd forgotten how much I love the latter -- that really hit home for the first time how sad the former's deathbed confessions of being in love with her were. Renewing my belief in their ghosts roaming the hospital in 3, 2, 1...
Oh yeah, and Owen showed up to play guitar & sing an angsty song. To quote the great Paris Hilton, "That's hot."
Lastly, while I forgot to write any of them down, there were a number of lovely deleted Owen/Cristina scenes, and I am giddy as a lark to report that these two are, in fact, perfectly time-locked in the past and their old selves bring me as much joy as ever.
-Survivor: Was a beautiful thing to behold Ozzy returning to his effortless individual-immunity-challenge-winning glory, even if it ultimately ended up being unnecessary at best and unwittingly self-destructive at worst (damn you, Weasel). Not that I'm not glad to see Keith bounced, but this certainly seems to put Ozzy's longevity in jeopardy, and I will not stand for that. He is my favorite right now.
Dawn is my other favorite -- I do not think I could possibly love her more than I already do. Winning immunity challenges, breaking down and crying a little (just a little), comparing Cochran to her son...d'awww.
I did laugh quite a bit when Coach saw right through the BS and calmly exposed every detail of Cochran's attempted bluff as clearly as if he'd been watching the show, but there's just something awful and sour-tasting about Brandon of all people taking the high and mighty "this is why you don't treat people like that" road. It's worse because he has a point. Mikayla not withstanding.
Not going into detail, but Community'sWar For Troy's Engineering Soul made me laugh endlessly, as did Pierce's "I Love Gay Money" party, Old Ivory Hair + Britta's ability to excuse racism but not animal cruelty, and basically everything else that happened. Not deep, but excellent comic value.
The Office, 8x06, "Doomsday"
Dear Pam: could not be more disappointed in your lack of "Closing Time" lyrics knowledge. THAT SONG IS A CONTEMPORARY CLASSIC. I may be a little defensive because the group is Minneapolis-based, I don't know, but it's part of my Radio Nostalgia collection and therefore has revered status among music.
This is definitely one of the better things Andy has sung over the years -- look at me, openly admitting I like stuff of his! -- but I wish they hadn't claimed this was repeated every day. In my world, this was the first and only time it happened, so it can be cool instead of stupid and insane. (Did get a kick out of Jim cheerfully explaining to his client that "My boss is singing Closing Time, that might be what you're hearing.")
Beyond that...other than the anti-Robert emails and a fine appreciation for Jim in sportswear (even squash sportswear, which is apparently the same thing as tennis sportswear), I got absolutely nothing worth remembering about this one. Dwight's not-a-doomsday device was a really funny idea but kind of fizzled out once he left the office, and there was so much hideous awkwardness all around (GABE) that I had to mute what felt like half the episode. Season low so far.
1. Dwight's horses seem to die at an alarming rate.
2. Doesn't he usually eat them? I'm not saying I'm not happy with this change in policy, just confused.
OK, I showed up one minute early to ABC because I hate missing Addison's Therapy Voiceover even a little bit, and I caught the last few seconds + the promo of Grey's Anatomy.
Episode: Why is Henry bleeding from the mouth? What is happening with his life? And has YouTube put compilations of the Teddy/Henry scenes up yet?
Promo: *perks up* Is Meredith in danger, or at least potential danger? Because unless they cut this promo together with specific intent to lie to me, this could have great potential re: Derek's reaction, and if Cristina's panic face is related to this, then that might be enough to camouflage the devil suit & horns I seem to see her in nowadays. I...may need to tune in?
Private Practice, 5x06, "If I Hadn't Forgotten"
Charlotte: I don't know what the point of her flashbacks with a hilariously awful brunette wig were, except to erase any and all progress made on the "I like how Charlotte incessantly rides and harasses Amelia's ass for her blithering stupidity" train and replace it with extremely strong feelings of "THIS MURDERING BITCH SHOULD BE IN JAIL."
Jake: You are perfect. Keep being exactly like this.
Pete/Violet: I don't get them this week. Spoilers should probably come along and clarify what they're trying to do with this, because it's genuinely confusing. Which, I suppose, is better than blinding me with rage, but I just hope that part's not waiting around the corner.
Addison: Is a rockstar. I love being able to love her. Fantasy spermball! Where are all the women in this practice!
Sam/Addison: NEW GAME -- whenever possible, like when they are not actively kissing or filling the nasty bedroom void left by a marriage-tamed Cooper/Charlotte, I am going to forcefully believe in my AU where they are not at all dating. Because if they're not dating, then how awesome would it be if he sat by her bedside while she woke up and stroked her hair? It would be kind of like that time she crawled into bed with him to cope with her grief. I guess they're the second couple in TV history I can only enjoy if they remain permanently in the UST stage. But even then, not really, because the feelings are still totally aromantic. Why can't they just be friends? Good friends. Grown-up friends. Mind I'm quoting Community, not making suggestive statements. Other than what's in the quote.
Amelia: I'm hardly saying anything about it, but I'm riveted to the saga -- beyond Pete/Violet, she's the best part of the show right now. Which is always true, but right now it's especially noticeable.
Law & Order: SVU, 13x06, True Believers
Ooh! I was hoping Sofia Vassilieva wouldn't stray too far from the way she played Ariel DuBois (because apparently I'm twisted? but I thought it would be interesting to have a visual of how Ariel would deal with this), and she did not disappoint. Despite one of the more uncomfortable rape scenes they've tried to force on me -- how long until they realize that we only come for the aftermath, not the crime itself? -- I thought everything was very well acted and very well written. (Except maybe the jury -- that jury is full of stupidity and/or possibly white guilt; the gun charge at least ought to have been a no-brainer) They even threw in a legal, consequence-free student/teacher relationship at no extra charge. (I might add: a music teacher, and a fine-looking one at that)
The only thing wrong with it was her decision to have a drunken one night stand with an anonymous stranger to feel like a "normal college student." I WILL BRAIN YOU MYSELF. Will never understand compulsion to live up to media stereotype of moronic party student as "normal." Anyway, I actually liked Cutter's interaction with her the best -- it's literally the first time I have found him anything less than nettlesome and irritating, and he managed to wrap it all the way around to coming across as kind and trustworthy.
Lastly: the sort of mentorship role Munch has volunteered to play for Amaro is my other favorite thing. Oh, and Liv looked especially pretty tonight, throwing her condescending-where-necessary confidence around and, overall, having seemed to notch another 10 years of experience under her belt now that she's closer to running lead than half a partnership. It's a beautiful thing to behold; clearly Meloni should have bounced years ago.
CSI: NY, 8x06, "Get Me Out of Here!"
Had no idea what was going on for most of this episode -- it generally failed to distract me from my book until they had determined that a kid was buried alive -- but I did sit up and take sharp notice of Danny & Lindsay half-seriously, half-jokingly talking about their funeral plans in the event of their deaths. Yes! That is the sort of thing I want to hear about, good job. Although in the joke department, I really appreciate Lindsay's plan to just hang around and haunt the apartment.
The ending, with everyone watching a horror movie and relentlessly using their legal, medical and/or forensic expertise to nitpick, was a cute display of lab solidarity too. But I think my very favorite part may be "YOU'LL SLEEP LIKE A CORPSE." Hahahaha! Creepy Sid, your existence has finally been validated. That pillow looked ridiculous.
(oh, and sidebar -- the idea of digging up old graves to bury new bodies was chilling in all the best ways. And wonderful, in the sense that it got Mac to start throwing punches. Ostensibly to subdue the suspect, but I'm sure it was convenient timing given how pissed off Mac looked at the careless desecration of old bones)