RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Monday TV, you strongly disappointed.

Fandom, what the hell, why is Tony DiNozzo apparently a lock to win the TV Law Enforcement Crushes tournament? He fails every test for crushability -- appearance, the subcategory for hair, personality, and marriage material (that's like personality, but specifically where he has/interacts well with kids and/or shows off his romantic side). I don't understand how this is happening after we lost Mulder, Sawyer (straight-laced alt-universe version), Booth, Gibbs, Chuck Bartowski, McGarret's abs, and even Castle at this point, along the way. Ugh. The ladies' tournament had best be epic to make up for this injustice.

1) The ending thing is real, according to TV Line. However, the "whether she'll stay that way" wording gives me hope for undoing it.
2) Then I read more spoilers. My reactions can best be described as
a) (deep breath) "WHAT?!"
b) *head explodes with rage*
c) Oh, hell no. Cristina Yang does not get to have an abortion if Robin has been just as vocal about not wanting kids and still ends up with them. Drama vs. sitcom is not an excuse.
d) *narrows eyes* You have from now until that episode airs to see to it that this spoiler is a misleading lie and none of this is real.
e) so...this is why I stay unspoiled.
How I Met Your Mother, 7x11, "The Rebound Girl" (...I genuinely don't understand this title; do I have it wrong?)
HIMYM, can we stop talking about how NYC > a freaking non-cookie-cutter house in the suburbs? It's gross. And it makes me want to punch your face. I accept that your show is set there, but we made a pact to quietly not discuss this issue, much less rub it in.

That said, the dog statue by the front door...I must have it.

The Saga of Bro-Parenting made me laugh ENDLESSLY, and the sight of Barney with an infant (a surprisingly cute-ish one!) strapped to his chest is pretty much the most precious thing I've ever seen. And that's coming from me, who still thinks that Barney would make a horrible father, just horrible. Fun uncle, even possible husband where Robin is involved, but not a father. And you know how hard I push for everyone to have babies. When I say no, it should be law.

(side note: was it just me, or was most of this episode like one big love letter to the slash shippers? And I am highly entertained by the same crumbs, so, win/win)

Meanwhile, Ted has earned at least five weeks of approval for the fact that his future fantasy parenting scenario involves owning a dog -- a real one, at that. "Purebred Golden, but it's OK, she's a rescue." ♥

And then the ending happened. I AM SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT, ROBIN? Undo this, HIMYM. Undo it now. Nobody wants to see that. Make it a false positive. Make it fail so early it can hardly even be considered a miscarriage. Whatever it takes. The notion of Robin as a mother is repugnant to me (and also, altruistically looking out for my buddies here, a real kick in the teeth for the Ted/Robin shippers for whom this was basically the only obstacle). I am therefore sticking firmly in the Not A Real Pregnancy camp, because I don't particularly want it to be Kevin's OR Barney's, because of reasons stated above.

P.S. Sweet baby Jesus, does this show ever take a week off? Is next week a break? How many episodes are there this season? I don't even care if we break on a cliffhanger, I just for once would like to not have this show on the roster. Viewers need processing time once in a while.
2 Broke Girls: I am slightly worried by how attractive I find Max in her North Pole Dancer elf costume. She's mesmerizingly pretty on the worst days, but the perfect cut of this costume just doubled it. Also, I would like maybe an entire series of webisodes based on them working at the mall, because I could never get tired of her playing Mrs. Claus, managing to nail that part even more perfectly despite her obvious youth (I especially loved her excellent attempts to sanitize Caroline's language/attitude). I need there to be two Maxes so she can do both parts at once; I can't pick my favorite! Meanwhile, I also loved Mary Christmas, and I would like to retcon Caroline's spectacular flameout on the job, because I want endless adventures of an actually-cheerful Jingle. MAYBE THEY COULD ALSO HIRE CHESTNUT AND PUT A PAIR OF ANTLERS ON HIM TO PLAY A REINDEER??

(incidentally, I constantly mistype his name as "Chester" because it is just too dissonant to have a bay horse named Chestnut.)

Terra Nova, "Vs."
 I really hate to admit it, but I think the shine is off the apple on this one? A combination of all my other shows finally Bringing It plus weeks of the internet incessantly ragging on it have finally worn me down. I've given up hope or interest in a second season and am just content to get to the end of this one. For once, even the family antics failed to satisfy me, because other than Josh & Maddy's teasing at the beginning and Josh dancing with and picking up Zoe at the end (MOTHER OF CUTENESS), I cringed horribly throughout that awful school play experience except during the brief period with proud parents + Josh in the audience. Zoe didn't even mess up her lines, I just intensely dislike elementary-school plays, plus it was just too awkward to have what amounted to savior-like worship of someone who is very much still alive, walking around the colony and actively in charge. Plus, the festival ending with kissing the new baby -- could you BE any cheesier and more Lion King?

I did like the Jim/Josh interaction at the beginning. I love the latter when he is appropriately chastised and earnestly taking his licks out of apparently genuine concern for a friend. Other favorite part: Malcolm's, "What's that in your eye? Oh my god, it's a flicker of intelligence!" This rivalry is the best.

Definitely did not see trained dragonflies as Sixer messengers. Holy crap.

Happy to see that the Conspiracy Theorists are disappointed, and Commander Taylor remains the beacon of idealistic good. Also relieved that Jim's arrest did not last particularly long, nor was it particularly serious (but: good reaction, Elizabeth). Taylor's quite good at putting on arrests for show; I should realize that. Not super into the resolution of the storyline about his crazy son, but I'll come along for the ride if that's where the storyline is headed.

P.S. I don't know what is, but get your posts about it the hell off Tumblr; YOU ARE CLOGGING THE TAG LIKE WHOA AND NO ONE CARES.
House, 8x07, "Dead and Buried"
This episode suffered due to my insane anticipation for Castle. I should have just shut it off and waited until later, but inertia is a powerful force, so instead I left it on mostly in the background while I tap-danced around the internet. I still don't understand why House was obsessed with the case of the dead kid (or where he even found it), and I vote Return Him To Prison because I'm punitive like that, but the scene in the crypt was suitably macabre. Appreciate your willingness to do a few closeups on the gruesomeness that was the corpse.

As for the other case, meh, the girl was really likable (where have I seen this actress?), but anytime the ultimate answer is "multiple personality disorder," it immediately loses all interest. She didn't even have interesting personalities. The car crash flashback was super creepily well done, though.

However, LAUGHING FOREVER AT CHASE'S COMMERCIAL They come up with the most unexpectedly delightful things sometimes.
As for Castle...I should have waited. *scratches ear*

Not because it was a nail-biting cliffhanger, but because there was nothing particularly exciting at all and now it's just more waiting around with nothing to chew on. The leadup interviews & articles offering insight were much more intriguing. I may have gotten depressingly excited about TV Line's teasing over the "new guy in her life" leading to comments about how they were sure she was acquiring a dog/cat.

First, your promo was a lying promo that lied about the placement of certain voiceovers, and second, I realize you had to lay all the groundwork and set it up the way you did with a hands-off Castle, but the fact remains that this series is not unlike Chuck in that I seriously do not care about anyone except Alexis. I actually hate all but three characters. And Castle & Kate both ride neutral unless they are directly interacting with each other. Sorry; it is opposite of Chuck in that she is my preferred half of the pair, but I have still not been here long enough and am not invested enough to watch Beckett's Emotional Journey of Self Discovery. I demand only the finest cuts of shipperiffic joy and can't be bothered by all the work required to set them up.

That said, the one part I did really like were all the shots of scar tissue, because that's how I roll. I especially like how for the first one in her bra, I was all eye-rolling and "Well, this seems wholly unnecessary -- oh, I see what you're doing there! Never mind, totally approved."

Future Me says I will eventually come to appreciate all the sidelong glances and worried looks he threw her way, though. I'm sure it'll still come out among the top five episodes of the season, since Castle's quality baseline is low. I definitely smiled at the lighthearted ending. Perhaps if I hadn't been completely ridiculous with my expectations, I would have realized that there has to be some balance between the Great Big Showy things and the symbolism of how much it means to restrain yourself when there's a conflict between how you want to handle it and how she needs to be handled.

It doesn't change how much Esposito's face annoys me, though.
Tags: 2 broke girls, castle, house, how i met your mother, ncis, polls, speculation, spoilers, terra nova, tv commentary

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