2. Just watched "Gremlins." I feel like this was a pretty popular movie at one time? Or maybe cult classic? Has everyone seen it except me? It was just the most indescribably cracky fun-with-a-hybrid-of-scary-and-macabre time I have ever had. Not sure who was cuter, Barney or Gizmo. I was going to say I need a mogwai, but then I remembered that Furbies exist.
3. Why does Scarlet Johansson have to be part of "We Bought A Zoo"? Everything about that preview looks incredible, and then there is her face in the middle of it, ruining things. I am unexpectedly protective of this movie, okay, it's MY book. I found it and I read it a whole year ago; I have intimate knowledge of this story that none of you have, and I demand it conform to my expectations!
I am already expecting "War Horse" to be below expectations because apparently "to work dramatically, the story could not be told solely through the viewpoint of the horse (as it was in the book)," like, hey there, "Black Beauty."** So don't mess this up. We Bought a Zoo, the book, was actually not that exciting, and I blame that on the writing style or structure alone, so I am counting on the movie version to bring out all its unrealized potential.
*HOLY CRAP, I need to rewatch this movie like whoa. You know how in childhood, you don't know any of the famous people and then years later you're shocked by who played the characters you think you remember so clearly? Sean Bean! Peter Davison! David Thewlis!
*Bombed at the box office?????? Are you kidding me? 4 million?! This book is my favorite of all the books, and I don't care if I haven't seen it since I was 10, this movie is still the gold standard of how to do an animal movie right.
4. Watching Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap right now. Suddenly disappointed in myself for not working lyrics from "You Just Got Slapped" into my last Glee review.
5. NCIS, 9x10, "Sins of the Father"
When I first looked at the summary for this episode, I read it as "Tony's father is found dead in a trunk," and for a second I got really excited.
My favorite part of the beginning was them talking about the case files that had to be entered in the system. That sounds way more exciting than working a case. I know an agent merely had to review them, but what I'm saying is, I'm jealous of the clerk who gets paid to do the data entry. Other than that, the image of an agent dressing as Gibbs for Halloween (complete w/ silver wig), and Gibbs walking Tony back behind the crime scene tape, nothing particularly interesting happened until the second half, when things got very exciting and full of unexpectedly heartwarming stuff.
+ Tony, to A.D. Sr.: Where are you spending the night?
Gibbs: My place.
Aw, your boss isa real sweetheart.
+ Always up for more time in La Maison de Gibbs. I guess that solidly answers my lingering question about whether Gibbs always sleeps on the couch. And:
Anthony DiNozzo, Sr.: Why'd you stick your neck out for me?
Gibbs: I didn't do it for you. I did it for your son. He deserves better.
+ Gibbs: You don't get it. Tony never wanted your money. He wants a father.
(as you may have inferred yesterday, I usually have little to no use for Tony. However, Gibbs looking out for him is high on the very short list of positive reasons for his existence)
+ Tony: Where is he?
Tony: You shot him.
(Gibbs expression in response to this cracks me up)
+ Abby blocking Tony's prying into her results both verbally and physically, complete with a little shove to finally turn him out of her lab. Also, his Caff Pow bribe, and of course, her hug to make up for the lack of information. Abby's affections are another validation for his existence).
+ Loved the Hyper Abby's Results To The Rescue ending.
+ And there goes Gibbs casually facilitating the heartwarming father/son fuzzies again. Now, that is why he's my favorite.
6. So, while Castle was busy convincing me watch it live, Hawaii was all, "OVER HERE, OVER HERE! WE'VE GOT INTERNATIONAL MAIN-CHARACTER-HOSTAGE SITUATIONS AND STUFF. Also, Jenna." Even though they lost the live-viewing face-off, this made up for the festival of excruciating secondhand embarrassment and chicken-killing that was Survivor's unusually sucky clip show. It figures that the one thing I did not watch on Monday was the part of Monday TV that didn't disappoint.
Per usual, the bit I was waiting for from the previews was delivered within the first quarter. Not per usual, the episode then went to a whole new plane of wild and unexpected not seen since the finale. So. I think I'm just going to preserve my running commentary:
-What, what the..Sam Hill is this? Are they a couple? Do we know about them? Is this some kind of joke, a sting op, are you playing me, etc? How long have they known each other? I FEEL LIKE MAIN-CHARACTER ENGAGEMENTS SHOULD BE A BIGGER DEAL. Somebody orient me fast, because I feel like I really want to appreciate Daniel Dae Kim in proposal mode.
-Jenna has a fiance too? *squints* Does the title of this episode mean "Engaged"?
-Can this show be all Jenna and Steve all the time? I love how they interact. We could have Danny and Chin in minor supporting roles, maybe, while Kono can be dropped after repeatedly proving herself less interesting than the scenery.
-Korean is...not a sexy language. [as proven by the fact that Steve speaking it does not provide the customary "hot dude knows foreign language -- hot" feelings]
-*holds up hand* Betrayal five!
-Really digging the whole rope-around-the-neck prisoner thing, by the way. Television has never offered me this before.
-What are you doing to him behind closed doors there, show? Something I would find useful? It sounds awes...ful. Just awesful. I'll have to transpose it, due to Steve's tiresome lack of a decent family or love interest, but I'm pretty sure I can come up with at least one hotheaded crime show leader who might conceivably land himself in this situation. Especially to help out a trusted friend. Speaking of that friend, Jenna, do I correctly deduce that you DO have a fiance and have made the awful choice to dance with the devil in order to save him? Because your face looks beautifully pained right now.
-Oh, you do, and you have, and it is! I'm also guessing dude is already dead, though.
-Dude is. I'm so awesome at guessing stuff five seconds before it happens!
(also: wow, dude is way dead. And Jenna...doesn't seem quite as distraught as one might imagine upon finding a murdered fiance, more like she's just been told he has cancer or some other things that sucks but is potentially fixable. Anyway. All right, Danny, time for you to earn your keep and save these kids. Go easy on her, will you?)
-Ah. That explains it; real grief but also exaggerated fake crying to punch out the guard; you're like an awesome little ninja. And whoa, did not expect a phone call to the team that fast. OK, wow, loving this a lot. Maybe I should also hang out in season 1 and appreciate Jenna & Danny working together too.
-...um. What the hell is happening now? What just happened? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS SHOW.**
-That's quite a laundry list of possible federal criminal charages, Locke. I don't think even I'd be volunteering to go help save Steve at this point. Those of you not named Danny are ridiculous and should not be this attached to him.
-Oh. Wow. OK. This extended beating session is harder to watch than I expected. Not wishing this fate on anybody, not even in my twisted scenario playground. Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna. Should have played by the rules and trusted the good guys. Five-0 gets sh-t done.
-**Pins put in his knee. Got it. (i.e. for confused Future Self, she realized how they could help and was retrieving one for future use. Does not lessen squick of digging around in your fiance's decomposing flesh, though)
-OH JENNA. Your face. I knew you weren't evil to the core. Unfortunately, this show is too fond of screwing people (ladies) over, so I don't think it'll help.
-Did you just break out the cattle prod? Like, I know I was all excited when we tried that on The Mentalist, but him I WANTED to be in pain.
-My face/posture is perfectly mirroring Jenna, right now. Incidentally: she is currently doing a fine job of standing in for a family member/love interest. I mean, just the fact that she's right there in the room is a thing I have not gotten since Lost.
-Is it wrong I kind of hope somebody shoots Jenna before we leave here? There's no way she's getting pardoned on this, and you know, that whole choice of the pacing mustang, better to die free than live in captivi --
[link note: it's easier to just scroll up a paragraph]
GOD DAMN IT, I WAS KIDDING. (I wasn't. But that seemed like an unusually swift bit of prediction-deliverance for a gal I really liked)
Yep, there, that's what I was expecting. (MacGyver-esque prison break based on only the simplest of lock-picking tools) Torture, debilitating injury, tons of guards with guns, it ain't a thing! I kind of suspect that if you let this show run for five years it will take the same sharp curve to Looneyville that CSI: Miami went down with Super Horatio.
Never mind. I thought that seemed too easy, even for him.
(long break between thoughts)
Wo Fat's gotta be at least a LITTLE impressed that this scrappy team can chase him halfway around the globe to one of the most hostile countries on earth and still screw with his plans, right?
(no live note, but Danny being the one to actually find Steve pretty much made me the happiest person on earth.)
Dear Lori: you are NOT an acceptable love interest substitute. I will go slash before I ship that, and when you fail me on immediate-rescue, post-torture, thank-god-you're-alive hugs, you've failed the easiest test on earth to win my shipper affections. Why are you even here? Your character is so irrelevant. You are like a barnacle clinging unnecessarily onto the team.
But awww, love the flyaway-home ending. And everyone's happy, except for poor Jenna, whose body will apparently be left to rot in that horrible evil-infested jungle. Show, you can be a real bastard sometimes. You know that, right? You look all light and campy, but underneath there is cold streak of pure, sadistic evil.
In conclusion: the festival of torture proved too graphic even for my tough little sensibilities, and will be haunting me for a while.