Glee, 3x07, "I Kissed a Girl"
Almost everything about this episode was actually worse than I expected. I blacked out to a place beyond Angry and rose above it, since I got most of the smackdown talk worked through on Monday. The only good parts were as follows:
1. When Mr. Schue was angry with Santana's slapping antics, had no mercy, was more than ready to give Santana her well-deserved SECTIONALS-MISSING suspension, and Ms. Corcoran agreed. For a few seconds the world made sense.
2. Santana's grandmother basically shunning and disowning her (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!). I dove into a specially prepared pile of blankets and proceeded to roll all over the place, hysterically laughing my ass off. BEST! BEST! Santana's abuelita is the best. I loved how she didn't even get shouty-angry. She just looked at her like a traitor and then erased her from her life.
3. The comically sexist/arrogant sophomore rugby captain (why is this a sport that they have?) talking down to Santana. OK, that dude is my new Karofsky. Obviously, she just needs a good man to straighten her out! And he will happily fill that role. I wish you luck on your quest, sir. *salutes*
4. About five seconds of Shelby looking anxious in the ER, before it got weird. TV Line's review "hate[d] the idea of Shelby being so needy and insecure that she can’t handle a simple trip to the ER with her daughter," but I love it. I just wish she'd called her good buddy Will Schuester for moral support instead.
5. "Perfect" (more on that later)
Unaddressed Rageful Bits:
1. What the hell was Kurt dressed in this week? It's like he was making all his own shirts but he either ran out of fabric or the sewing machine broke before he finished them.
2. Remember when Kurt was all upset about possible suspension for something he didn't even do, and Rachel reached out but he brushed past her and muttered "I have to find Blaine"? Um, WHY DIDN'T WE SEE THAT? Don't you dare taunt me with comfort I'll never see. GET ON THE FIC, FANDOM. The Klaine clan practically has a house majority, so there had better be about a hundred of you ready to deliver by Friday.
[edit: So I went on Tumblr looking for the fic, stupidly, and I had a .gif from the unviewed part of "The First Time" shoved in my face. Luckily for everyone involved, it was super adorable, and obviously took place in mid-afternoon after watching a movie fully clothed. Yes, I have MemoryShopped sleeves onto Blaine's tank top, because that's how asexual I need this relationship to be at all times.]
3. Kurt, if Student Council President was going to be the only thing on your resume anyway, I think you've probably got bigger things to worry about with the admissions board. That said, because this is Glee, I'm really worried by that "on her permanent record" thing with Rachel's dumb decision, and am suddenly terrified that it will keep her out of NYADA (all the better to stay with Finn) and let Kurt in.
4. Glee, spooning scenes are in relatively rare supply around here. Don't waste them on horrible boys.
5. Oh, Quinn. I just want everyone in the club who is not Puck to hug her and tell her she's beautiful and talented and she's done so much with her life and she has so much potential to do more.
Show, did you miss the extremely important "NOT" in that particular wish of mine? Ugh. Once again, you have taken a good idea and twisted its execution into a horrible mess.
Music & Performances:
"Lady Music Week" sounds like what Glee should do all the time. I totally approve of this in theory, but in practice, they kind of crashed and burned. They even managed to pick 100% high-quality artists and songs, except for that horrific flameout with Katy Perry, but then proceeded to choose all the wrong people to sing them or otherwise mucked them up.
++ Perfect: Blaine sounded AMAZING on this (except for the inherently inferior spoken-rap part). Why wasn't it all him?
(although, in fairness! They were both incredibly cute singing it in class, ugly fashion choices and all)
[UPDATE: Yep, changed my mind. I now like it better than the original. I specifically love Kurt's part, even. They are joy and happiness and adorableness personified. I love their relationship, and this number is actually going down as a season 3 highlight. One of the best ones.]
- I'm The Only One: I actually really like this song, particularly Melissa Ethridge's distinctive voice on it. But I hate Puck, and therefore I hate his voice. Singing this song at Shelby (gross gross gross gross gross) didn't help. I thought we were going to shut this down, Glee.
-- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: I couldn't figure out what song Finn was doing at first, but once I recognized it, I howled with laughter and then had to shut off the TV because I couldn't take how awful it was. You can't turn this number into a dirge, Finn. You just can't.
-- Jolene: Oh, HELL to the no. I have Dolly Parton's version in my library (though I will forever be partial to Mindy Smith's performance w/ Dolly on Leno, which introduced me to the song), and it's a wonderful song that I will grudgingly accept even made the best sense for the context, but Dot Marie Jones' voice is awful. I literally cannot tell it apart from a man, and not a good man. Plus, there is just something hysterical about the idea of Sue being beautiful, even though in a bizarre twist of longshot odds, she actually is the prettier one here.
------- I Kissed A Girl: Absolutely not. Won't even listen. Why do you only bring the girls together for things that are awful.
+ Constant Craving:
Up Next: Oh my goodness, Shirtless Sam and Angry Blaine. Even without Rachel's beautiful competition voice, this just might be the episode I've been waiting for.
Survivor: Ozzy winning immunity again? Check, although they had me worried for a while with the balance challenge featuring two extremely balance-gifted women (not that I would have minded Dawn winning, but that's beside the point). More footage of him fishing and enjoying being king of his own little paradise? Check. Rest of episode being irrelevant after that? Check! No, okay, not really.
First I got to hear Sophie dress down Cochran to the camera, thus proving why she is my favorite female player in a long time. And second, who doesn't love challenges that involve tossing things and shooting coconuts at things? Maybe people who have to watch Prince Albert** win them. But up until that point, it was great. The only sensible thing Albert did today was give away his reward. A public shower and a massage would not be high on my list of good rewards. Too bad for the women giving the massages, though. "Sorry, ladies. Contrary to what you might have heard, you will not be working on the attractive one."
(**Rick spoke! I'm not clear why he has not been speaking more often. Please be sarcastic about lazy people more; I'm kind of loving it.)
Was really surprised Cochran got voted out. I've made my peace with him flipping at this point, because by merge time both tribes had exactly one player I was really attached to plus the incumbent, but I was honestly expecting him to worm his way further into that alliance after all the impossible moves he'd pulled off so far. He will fail at the Redemption challenge, right? I mean. I might actually cry if a twist of fate causes the best challenge competitor to go down to the worst.
Law & Order: SVU, "Lost Traveler"
First, I've got to register surprise that Romani are a) a persecuted group in the U.S. at all, and b) a group people recognize enough to persecute. I just assumed the kid was Hispanic. And then, after getting a look at his parents, just plain Spanish. The blatant prejudice from the local cop seemed especially comical and unbelievable. Sorry, is it 1954 in this borough?
We got our first taste of Amaro and Blondie working together, and it was not good. Nobody can help her uninspired performance, nobody! I am depressingly sure I will not be able to stay away from his face, but ugh, it feels like sticking out the future with them will be an unpleasant ride.
And finally, I figured out the killers halfway through. Partly because they were being really obvious about it, and partly because Law & Order: UK used this exact same case structure, and since that itself was supposed to be ripped right out of an actual Law & Order script, I am not clear how SVU got away with doing it. Is it like running a piece of dialogue through multiple language translations on Babelfish, the end product bears minimal enough resemblance to the original to pass as new?
And now, the talk I really came on here to post: more Castle! Once I heard there were sneak peeks out (most relevantly: the waking-up minute), I made a beeline for them and proceeded to spend all of yesterday afternoon in a bliss coma (after playing the aforementioned minute an unmentionable number of times). And by "bliss coma," I mean I hit up YouTube for more short clips. Lots of them.
1. Awwww, out-of-context-but-not-really "I love you." Yeah. That could keep me going for a while. You'd think this would be less exciting what with the real one floating around, but that is not the case.
2. Jealous!Beckett, overnight stays, pancakes in the morning, and all the assorted ribbing that follows.
CANNOT. STOP. LAUGHING.
3. "Is Castle gay?"
Season 3! You seem more epic every time I turn around. And wait, wait, wait, Laura Prepon is supposed to be the movie version of Nikki Heat?
b) I am now having a personal crisis over which person I should actually picture as Nikki, her or Beckett.
And then, when I went to find the clip later after I'd lost the URL, I accidentally found the whole episode posted on YT instead, so I watched it from start to finish. I'm not sure I could BE more delighted with how Beckett gradually morphs from loving her to hating her soul-stealing guts. (especially the crankypants "If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me?" comment) I think that makes it only the fifth full episode I've seen, but I want to say it's going to stay in the top 5. Or at least 10. It was really excellent, let's put it that way.
Watching a series start to finish has its perks, but sometimes it's quite nice to both come late to the party and zig-zag your way through chronology.
4. I have now been on YouTube for, oh I don't know, let's say two hours looking at random 1-3 minute clips of pretty much any Castle & Beckett interaction that YouTube has deemed worthy of upload (almost all season 3, because apparently season 3 was where it was at, and because "Josh" is pretty much just a mythical figment of imagination for me). Can no longer keep track of them all, because the two of them just bring an uninterrupted stream of happiness my way. Honestly, there is nothing in the world like jumping on a brand-new ship, especially when that ship has multiple seasons' worth of footage stored up.
Also, the library has more copies of Heat Wave than I thought, so it's in transit and I'll have it by Friday. Of course, I just re-watched the swingset scene from 4x01, which had no meaning for me when I saw it in September, so now I just want to be ready to read book 3's mysterious dedication & ending. Tumblr was quick to tell me about the dedication, but I probably should not spoil myself on the ending of a trilogy.
5. Speaking of 4x01, dear Past Self, I'm sorry, what part of "I watched you die in that ambulance, did you know that? You know what that's like? Watching the life drain out of someone you--", "severely underwhelmed re: shippy kicks"?!
6. Just stumbled into season 1. Get me out of here! It's horrible. They are like strangers. And her too-short hair is driving me crazy (on that note, in season 4 I am continually shocked and impressed by how long it is; I can never get used to someone listening to me about growing hair out). So far, I have only accepted this scene, because apparently Beckett + small children = me full of glee. (and oh, whoa, hold up, was that Judy Reyes in the background as the mother at the end there? I was just saying to myself, "Self, if only someone could tell you all of the guest stars relevant to your interests so you could go cherry-pick more episodes to watch...")
[edit: huh. I did not remember Castle debuting as a late-in-the-season series with only 10 eps for season 1. My memory is usually capable of remembering TV scheduling facts, at least...]
I should really go to bed now. And at some point, I am going to have to process Terra Nova, preferably today while work is still at a record low volume.