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"Hey, keep TV out of this. We need TV. We got nothin' else." -- Mike Heck, The Middle
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Were you hoping for 2 Broke Girls to become less lowest-common-denominator anytime soon? Then you are out of luck. Pretty much every smartass line from one of the creator's mouths in this article makes me want to flip my lid. Among the gems:


-"If you talk about stereotypes, every character when it’s born is a stereotype,” King countered. “This show started with two stereotypes — a blonde, and a brunette — and that implies certain stigmas as well, which we’ve try to diffuse and grow [away from].”
Funny thing, though, nobody has accused either the blonde or the brunette of being stereotypes lately, if ever. So possibly you should work on fleshing out the non-white characters. Please note, for me to notice a potential racism issue, it has to be incredibly glaring and obnoxious.

-“the big story about race on our show is that so many are represented, that the cast is not only incredibly multi-ethnic, it’s also incredibly not ageist.”
a) two points for diversity. On the other hand, I think you're now required to actually do something valuable with them once they're cast.
b) ...why, because you have one old guy who is also black? That does not qualify as "incredibly."

-As for Broke Girls perhaps pushing the early-primetime envelope with jokes about vaginas and rape and barely veiled allusions to anal sex and not-beauty-salon-facials, King stressed that the show is airing “8:30 on Monday on CBS… in 2012,” which, he said, “is a very different world than 8:30 on Monday on CBS in 1994.”
See, that just makes me super sad. 1994 is not exactly what I think of as "the good old days of innocence and purity." I am genuinely scared for the future of TV.

-He categorized the show’s humor as “classy-dirty,” “high low-brow” and “fun and sophisticated and naughty — and I think everybody likes a good naughty joke.”
a) "Classy dirty"? That is the biggest oxymoron I have ever heard. It's also technically impossible. Just like the words "fun and sophisticated and naughty" all describing the same thing.
b) We absolutely do not. They are the worst. They should all be done away with.

-“People pull away from something if it’s not in good taste, and people lean into something if it’s OK. And week after week, more and more people are leaning in to 2 Broke Girls,” he said. So despite the grumblings about racist jabs and scatological humor, “there’s something there that they feel OK about.”
Oh, my God, this guy is the most self-absorbed, smug...not using a dirty word here on principle...I have ever seen. Key word dude, "something." It's a very small percentage of the whole. You are single-handedly making me love the show less, and I will tell you this right now: the days of me recommending it are done. For anyone who hasn't seen it, I will be strongly recommending they do not tune in.

tl;dr: "Our show is totally awesome and you're just watching wrong! Plus I don't care!"
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*eyeballs list of People's Choice winners*
Wait, so what you're telling me is, I should replace both the Oscars and the Emmys with this show and actually take it seriously next year, maybe with a liveblog? Because, holy crap. It apparently both nominates and awards things I know AND things I like!  (not in the music department, but def. in the film & TV sections)  Is it always like this? Why have I not been aware of this?


LOOK AT THIS LIST. There are actually more awesome things than even merely "tolerable" things. I have put "--" by the only things that make me specifically rageful, which on the Emmys, is like 80% of the wins.

TELEVISION (televised)
Favorite Daytime TV Host: Ellen DeGeneres (hearts!)
Favorite TV Comedy Actress: Lea Michele, Glee (THE GIANT HEARTS IN MY EYES, I CAN'T EVEN)
Favorite TV Drama Actress: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Favorite TV Comedy Actor: Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother (hearts!)
Favorite TV Drama Actor: Nathan Fillion, Castle (hearts!) (tiny part of my brain: ...but over McDreamy, though? I couldn't cast that vote)
Favorite TV Crime Drama: Castle (hearts!)
Favorite Cable TV Drama: Pretty Little Liars (...kind of hearts, just because it's the only born-on-cable show I have anything to do with!)
[edit: A BILLION HEARTS FOR CRUSHING TRUE BLOOD, DEXTER, AND GAME OF THRONES.]
Favorite Celebreality Star: Kim Kardashian (ridiculous, but there is no good choice either, and she's pretty)
Favorite Late-Night TV Host: Jimmy Fallon (eh, but again, Leno is the only acceptable choice)
Favorite Cable TV Comedy: Hot in Cleveland (wow, people even picked the lone appealing choice from the nominees)
--Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Supernatural
Favorite New TV Drama: Person of Interest (boring, especially with Once Upon a Time and Terra Nova on the table, but not awful)
Favorite New TV Comedy: 2 Broke Girls (hearts! TAKE THAT, NEW GIRL. Even sleaze beats embarrassment!)
Favorite Network TV Comedy: How I Met Your Mother

TELEVISION (non-televised)
Favorite TV Competition Show: American Idol
--Favorite TV Guest Star: Katy Perry, How I Met Your Mother (the hell) [edit: YOU HAD THE OPTION OF KRISTEN CHENOWETH ON GLEE AND YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE IT?)
--Favorite Network TV Drama: Supernatural ( ... )

MOVIES (televised)
Favorite Movie Actress: Emma Stone (this category was rock solid, though. Everyone is a winner.)
Favorite Comedic Movie Actress: Emma Stone
--Favorite Comedic Movie Actor: Adam Sandler
Favorite Movie Star Under 25: Chloe Grace Moretz (wait, who?)
-Favorite Drama Movie: Water for Elephants (the bit I saw in the book when I flipped to a random page shocked me and betrayed my trust in Sara Gruen as a classy, non-dirty writer. I forever bear a grudge, no matter how many animals and Reese Witherspoons are in the movie version)
--Favorite Comedy Movie: Bridesmaids
Favorite Book Adaptation: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Movie Superhero: The Green Lantern
Favorite Movie Icon: Morgan Freeman

MOVIES (non-televised)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (niiiice. All the awards!)
Favorite Action Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Action Movie Star: Hugh Jackman
Favorite Ensemble Movie Cast: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Favorite Animated Movie Voice: Johnny Depp, Rango
^In sum, all of the non-televised movie winners were correct.

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NCIS, 9x14, "A Desperate Man"
My response to NCIS this week can be summed up in the following YouTube clip:


I never expected Ziva/Ray to end any other way, and seeing as he continues to sport a rather gross and greasy-looking haircut it's not a big loss (plus that may be the most ridiculously baseless marriage proposal ever; what part of anything we have seen from them suggested actual love, much less marriage?). I have chosen to take to my sulking corner anyway.

"What can I do?"
But on the bright side, Gibbs petted her hair in consolation, and seeings as we got an Abby cheek kiss in this episode too, I am declaring this episode memorable as the Affectionate Gibbs Hour and forgetting all the icky Tiva Text. Apparently I can't even tolerate them as friends anymore without my skin crawling every time they have serious conversations, that is how far the poison has spread.
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Pretty Little Liars, 2x15

Spencer/Toby
My reaction to the first scene: (one long uninterrupted squeal. Uninterrupted until --)
Ship: *heads horizontal*
RS: *breaks off mid-squeal* Oh. *frowns* Uncool.

(reaction to second scene: oh thank goodness for outside distractions. Sorry kids, but that summer lovin' pass I was considering granting you has apparently expired. Please reapply.)

Aria/Ezra
Made me work for it this week, didn't you, having to go all over creation to collect the clips that were about them in order to assemble the complete picture. I think I've got it, albeit perhaps not necessarily in order because what is a recap? Who needs it?

1. Somebody called Aria out on her awful clothing choices! That's fantastic. I don't even care what the motivation was.
2. That's a sweet message, Aria. Potentially incriminating, but sweet.
3. Aria's Dad, I am starting to find you kind of useful. I love how you jump to dirty assumptions and flip your lid. I also love your ability to make Ezra jump backward like a frightened ferret after standing there and stubbornly refusing to admit to any wrongdoing or committing to any promise of stopping.
4. HANNA, COMIN' ALIVE! In the useful-character department. While your support means roughly nothing in the real world (guess what, teens? Nobody takes your opinion on student/teacher relationships seriously), in the fictional wonderland that is my perception of this couple, I am all on board with the friends-supporting-friends'-relationship theme, especially if it involves girls other than Aria actually talking to him.

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