Except a little bit, when it casts Britt Robertson and then dispatches her in one scene. That's ridiculous. The whole brief time she was on, I could not stop being sparkly-eyed enchanted by her face. She is supernaturally gifted at lighting up a screen anyway, but especially compared directly against the dour chick from Friday Night Lights. And, okay, maybe I wanted some interaction with her and Lucy Hale, also dispatched too soon. How do you grab those two actresses and not put them together? Think of the crazy AU backstory you could concoct!
Was happy to be rid of Anna Paquin quickly, though. I want to love her, because she's cute, but the actress has ruined herself with all her "being naked on camera is awesome!" interviews. Other than that, very satisfied with this round of Guest Star Mania. Adam Brody! Mary Mcdonnell! Alison Brie! Hayden Pannetiere! (albeit with gross hair I was fortunately able to pretend was in an updo, instead of chopped off and hairsprayed into a helmet) Emma Roberts!
I stupidly could not figure out the killer(s), having hedged all my bets on the blonde deputy, but that just made it all the more shocking for me when we found out. Three cheers for the internet not spoiling me. Plus, all I ever care about is making sure that Sidney, Gale, Dewey, and Gale & Dewey's relationship come out the other side intact. Of the four, I am most flexible on Sidney. So: PHEW.
Could have done without the knife-to-the-brain death and maybe also the gunshot to the groin; otherwise was mostly able to watch with minimal wincing and eye-shielding. Could definitely have done with fewer F-bombs, since at a certain point it just becomes abuse of the R rating. Really, Allison Brie's Character? Really, you need to say it every fifth word in casual conversation? (although kudos for having the most gutwrenching leadup to a death scene ever) Otherwise, good times. Possibly I should make a fuss over Patrick Dempsey not being in this one, but really, he just would have ended up dead, so I'm happy to convince myself he & Sid had 2-3 good years and parted on amicable terms.
In conclusion: for as much noise as the characters made about reboots vs. sequels, this worked excellently as a sequel. It managed to achieve that rare perfect storm of adding more satisfying material to a complete story without destroying the previous ending, mucking up the returning characters or dragging down the overall quality of the existing canon. It also caused me some difficulty sleeping after I finished watching it at 2 AM, which is the best consequence a scary movie can have.
I skipped the Golden Globes because I'm very much over Ricky Gervais, plus it seemed irrelevant since a quick glance at the TV section proved they can't even nominate quality shows. War Horse should have won Best Picture; otherwise I didn't care about films either. BUT, we are still going to play "comment on the dresses" today:
Using photos from a Hollywood Life. Which is the only time that site has ever been useful. Most of them are bigger and better in original form; this is just to jog my memory when I look back next year. And oh, boy, this would have been much easier if Paint would have just resized them without making the edges all funky and distorted so I didn't have to do each one individually in Photobucket. Which is currently not reflecting the size changes, because it takes it hours to catch up to any edits you make there.
WINNER: Nicole Kidman. My jaw actually dropped. LOVE the beadwork, even more so because it perfectly matches her hair, and it fits her like a glove. Need larger image so I can gaze at this on all my subsequent returns to this entry:
2. Sarah Michelle Gellar: The swirling blue and white may be the prettiest pattern I've ever seen at a show.
3. Jessica Alba: Pulling off a rare and stunning ability to make me love a strapless dress -- one without a necklace, even! -- because the color and gorgeous silver accents are just that pretty. [edit: I seem to have missed saving this picture...hang on.]
4. Octavia Spencer: I am ridiculously enchanted by the lilac color + sparkly silver in the center, plus it fits her shape perfectly.
5. Dianna Agron: It's very Chinese New Year's Dragon. I particularly like how the skirt is made from endless rows of lacey ruffles
6. Debra Messing: And the award for "most elegant in classic black" goes to...
7. Jessica Chastain: Beautiful contrast of white against her bright hair, and the studded material and gold belt around the wait seal it.
8. Laura Dern: Neckline is too low, but my god, the glittery deep green...it's mesmerizing.
9. Madonna: I know! It has made everyone's fail lists. The giant cross seems particularly tacky; the whole thing looks off. AND YET. I look at it, and am immediately intrigued by everything in this order: the perfect sleeves, the tight bodice in shimmery silver, the fact that she HAS a necklace and that it perfectly fills the expanse of bare skin, the pattern of squares, and the sharp forest-green shade of her ruffled skirt.
10. Helen Mirren: Neckline is a little too low, but the wide silver belt and feathery bottom are gorgeous.
+11. Tina Fey: Just on the edge of the list because it seemed a little too tight for her, but the color was amazing and LOOK AT ALL THE FLUFFINESS.
Couldn't pick a clear winner, but one of the first four. Leaning toward 1 or 3.
1. Charlize Theron. I literally do not understand why she is showing up on best-dressed lists when she looks like such a hot mess. It looks like it was concocted from the leftover fabric scraps after a real dress was made from the material, and there wasn't quite enough to go around. Forget the wide and plunging neckline, which always looks sloppy and unappealing, it looks like they stapled half a mini skirt on the side of the dress that didn't have enough material to cover her other leg. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
2. Lea Michele: Next time, try wearing a dress instead of silver body paint from the waist up. You know what one of the happy effects of clothing is? It's possible for it to completely cover your boobs.
3. Kirsten Wiig: Blandest color imaginable, and the distinct shape of a one-piece jumper (minus a swatch of fabric someone apparently ripped out of the front) that ends in parachute pants. WTF.
4. Melissa McCarthy: *throws up hands* Again with dresses that make her look like an armchair. I don't know what's wrong, because on Mike & Molly she's always wearing really well-fitted stuff and looks super cute.
5. Naya Rivera: Was her dress made out of a gym bag?
6. Kate Winslet: It makes her hips and thighs looks huge, and the bizarre slit in the torso just looks like somebody sliced it with a knife during transport and there wasn't time to sew it up.
And now for some looks that should have been pretty, but were handicapped by various factors:
1. Nicole Richie: Stunning silver with appropriate length, neckline and symmetrical wide straps?? I was all set to crown her overall champion until I saw the back, which was totally missing and even allowed her ugly tramp stamp to peek out. My mistake for assuming she could pull off classy.
2. Michelle Williams: Longer-sleeved, dark blue velvet pattern over sheer material? It's the dress I most want to wear, but Michelle Williams looks ugly in everything because of her (lack of) hair. She already looks like a boy; she would need gorgeous hair to compensate and a boy's cut ain't gonna do it.
3. Julie Bowen: Her dress would actually be perfect if only it were any other color and had a diamond pendant necklace. Dear everyone: stop wearing peach and tan! Never wear them! They are the muted version of bold yellow and orange, in terms of awful color decisions that no one should ever select.
4. Julianna Margulies: See Michelle Williams, +1 for pretty hair but -1 for baring her entire back. (and also, okay, for some reason the look didn't quite work for me anyway. I think because it looked more like a bodysuit than a dress)
5. Evan Rachel Wood: Watch me salivate over the color, patterns, and apparently, peacock feathers! Now watch me reject it on the grounds of "sloppy-looking neckline."
And one giant picture here, too, so I can admire all the detail: