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I just want to crawl into a hidey hole with my fandoms and stop hearing about the politicians' plans to destroy the internet, okay? It's making me vaguely suicidal.

Songs Given a CD Redemption Pass So Far: You Can't Stop the Beat (awkward slow start and all), It's Not Unusual (fast becoming a fave), Last Friday Night (Blaine can make a lot of stuff work), Tonight (guh), Constant Craving, ABC (always liked, but up until now I hated the confusing mess made of the extra minute tacked on to the studio vs. show version), Control (minus Quinn's possessed voice), and Man in the Mirror. I've concluded that roughly 40% of my life now is spent in the mode where I want to hear nothing but Glee covers. Greatest music of all time.

Actual spoilers for next episode:
I found the spoilers long ago about how "Blaine gets hurt and Kurt takes care of him" in this episode (I'd like to tell you I met that with skepticism, but I went full blown flail), but pretty soon after that, they clarified that he got slushied. "Yeah, that doesn't quite count as getting hurt. Also, I hate you for refusing to drop this asinine gag." Although I was definitely open for another round of bathroom cleanup, which was so perfect with Sam & Quinn.

Today I find from a new source, Blaine is slushied for the very first time by Sebastian. Unfortunately, Blaine is allergic, or has some sort of bad reaction to corn syrup or whatever the hell the icy drink is made of.  That’s why Blaine ends up in home in bed, being serenaded by Kurt, Finn and Rachel with a song about a rat.

AND I'M DEAD. Straight up dead.
~~~~~~~~~
Following my obsession with the West Side Story covers, I spent a good chunk of time today playing around with "The First Time," chipping away at a few more previously-skipped scenes.


This time I got up to Kurt saying, "You take my breath away" after the kiss, which did the same for me, so I crept along all the way up to the invitation to Breadstix before I sensed danger and bolted due the vague memory of the last time I got careless with this scene. [edit: and then I lost my marbles and went back to finish the scene on mute, hoping to make up my own story based on expressions like I did with the scene by the lockers. My eyes! Lips are too easy to read this close!]

I even bit the bullet and went inside Scandals for the first time, which was not too bad, other than being too embarrassed to look directly at Kurt dancing. I am still and will forever be annoyed that Karosky had to come out of the closet and couldn't just be homophobic for the sake of hatred, which was the main reason I'd skipped this scene until now, but I do like the way Kurt looks when he's in Deliberately Non-Judgmental Mode.

And then I decided to test the waters at the end.

WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE NOW.

STUPID SELF-CENSORING REQUIREMENT. And there are still 74 seconds left in the episode after this, but damned if I am going to try and dart around insufficiently clothed teenagers to see if there's any more Tony & Maria mixed in***. *frustrated headdesk*

Why must they be so very pretty together? As for why I did not know about this, look, it doesn't seem to matter if I read six different reviews while writing my own -- things I didn't see, which often includes entire songs, quickly evaporate from my brain. Hell, things I see but don't write about myself quickly evaporate.

[***10 AM edit: Mission accomplished! Complex screening methods were used and it was not without a few scars, but I worked out a list of safe times:
40:25-41:00
[+41:08-41:17, now approved]
41:17-41:24 (and then RUN, JOEY, RUN)
[+41:29-41:34 now approved]
41:34-41:48 (and you can keep going safely from here, but it's just gross couples in the audience until--)
42:01: You'll want to be back for Kurt's sweet smile in the wings (although it not nearly as awesome as the stupidly out-of-focus image of Blaine & Rachel's heads bowed together; WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME BIESTE WHEN I COULD BE LOOKING AT THAT). Don't dawdle past 4 seconds, ~1.5 of which is Blaine's face in a different context as your warning flag, or you hit --
42:06: Blech, Finn/Rachel essentially here to the end. Fly, you fool!

Still. I am so glad I found a way to finish that, because it was absolutely worth it to get the rest of the duet. *dreamy sigh*]

P.S. Glee Wikia has everything you could ever want on anything.
While Blaine sings "I love you" in the song Silly Love Songs, he looks at Rachel and draws a heart. She giggles, blushing at the signal. It isn't known if this was on purpose or not though.

SURE IT WAS. *triples newfound love for song*

[edit: now I remember the whole reason I opened this ep up in the first place, I'm trying to find that stupid scene at one of their houses at the beginning. Where is it? I know I read about this and I know that I did not see a second of it, because I keep running into awkward Finn/Rachel that I have also been censoring.

Ahah! Got it, right between Awkward Locker Promises and Awkward and Inappropriate Student/Teacher Discussions. Oh my god, it starts out so precious! "Do you think I'm boring?" / "Are you crazy? You're the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio." AND THEN MY EARS ARE HORRIFIED WHEN KURT USES A WORD THAT IS ON THE BANNED LIST. But I refuse to leave yet, so...muted to the end? So far I am very enchanted by Blaine's gestures and -- PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN KISS ALERT. Okay. I am good. I may have just made the foolish mistake of going back and trying a few more unmuted seconds. WHY IS NO ONE AROUND TO STOP ME FROM DOING THESE THINGS.]

[3 PM, second edit:
Kurt & Blaine's missing scenes in this episode are officially complete. I dealt with the ending! And it only took me 2.5 months and like 18 tries. I needed that time, though, because now I am able to be all shiny-eyed and beaming at how sweet they are at the end. No, really. Even this they do perfectly (speaking of which, I dragged myself through the above scene until I was desensitized to it and able to focus instead on Blaine being the perfect boyfriend some more, so the episode really is complete where they're concerned). Finn and Rachel's scenes continue to produce horrified dry heaves, but not these two.

Old Post Ironies: Not even the tamest of bed scenes are going to balance out the fact that they are in high school and that, that is icky. Things that would be sort of cute with adults are instantly negated by their age.

Oh, Glee. Your ability to make it sort of incredibly cute after all will never cease to amaze me.]

[Edit #23523: Sooooo, for those who are braver than me and want it, here is your NC-17 missing scene for Kurt and Blaine: Suddenly I'm Flying - fides_rationem.
Everything is electric that first time. Everything is new, and raw, and full of feelings.

I went as far as I dared for the romance aspect (which turned out not to be very far, because am I TRYING to ruin things for myself?), then hit the end and found I could only go back up about 3 lines, but it's the only author I will ever trust with this material, so it should be canon in your head. From what I saw, it checks out. At the very least, it makes logical sense of the amount of clothing in that last scene. I mean, logical for you. In my head this is just post-watching-a-movie cuddling and everyone has sleeves on their shirts.]


-------------
NON GLEE THINGS

House, 8x09, "Better Half"
Loved our female guest star of the week, House's variety of vaguely offensive nicknames for Foreman (my favorite being Cuddy Dark) and the notecard game; was genuinely disturbed by and trying desperately to forget Chase's belief that you should kill yourself as soon as you have an illness that causes you to become a burden on your family members. Apparently he neither believes in people's ability to change (as in alcoholism) or cares about the intermittent lucidity that persists for quite some time in Alzheimer's patients.

As for the B-plot, I am required to give you a tongue-lashing. I will ignore all the homophobia, racism allegations and literally ANY OTHER kind of -ism you hear shows accused of, but I will go to bat against things like deliberate misconceptions of asexuality. It's not like I believe it's persecuted or prejudiced against or needs some sort of special protection and tolerance lessons, but since it is somewhat relevant to my life I can get annoyed. "The only people who don't want sex are sick, dead, or lying"? Really? REALLY? Not that I expected this couple to have a happy House-disproving ending, because they're clinic patients on House...I'm just saying, I would marry that dude in an instant. And certainly not badger him about surgeries he didn't want that would have terrible consequences.
---------
Castle, 4x13, "An Embarrassment of Bitches"
I spent most of this episode making high pitched squealing noises, most of which were not legible as words, at how cute Royal was. Everything he did seemed like the cutest thing ever. I spent two hours petting and cuddling Kym afterward to get over it. From the pawing/scratching at the ground -- or what I affectionately thought of as "morphing into a perfectly engineered floor-destroying machine" -- to lying flat with chin on the ground to general demonstrative affection at every turn, I could not have been happier.

I love how Castle begs for a precinct mascot. I have no idea how Gates okayed him hanging around more than one day, but let's call it more proof of why I like her.  (oh, and Castle's gushy babytalk on he other side of the interrogation room window...dead, I am dead). I love how Castle & Beckett both fell in love with him on the spot. Can we hear more about Beckett planning on getting a dog like it's an actual plan, instead of an excuse to foster him overnight?

You know, there's an obvious way for you both to have spent more time with him -- okay, two obvious ways, but it's not like there was anything stopping you from hanging out at Castle's place after work until roughly midnight. Or later. Or crashing on the couch when it becomes too late to drive home. And I'm just saying, there's hearing about how Royal is a snuggler and there's seeing it, fatal dose of cute or not. Then again, without the custody-sharing, we wouldn't have that insanely adorable moment of her calling the pup to jump on the couch for laughing and cuddling and face-licking**. I want to live inside this moment forever. This is clearly the best scene that has ever existed on Castle, or will ever exist, canon relationship or not.

**OR THAT ONE PART THAT WHIPPED ALL THE SHIPPERS INTO A FRENZY. I started hanging out on Tumblr two hours ahead of time and I read something about circles on her hand, but I could not find that sneak peek for anything -- and as always, words do not do justice to seeing things in context. You can find my jaw somewhere around my knees. But here's what Castle-the-show excels at doing: giving you a spectacular thrill beyond your expectations, and then going beyond that. Castle-the-character, I see you there stealing intimacy. He saw her look, and he kept going. Don't mind me, I'll just be reverting to when I was 5 and would start wiggling my fingers in the air to convey excitement.

(plus, because I think we all probably secretly want it this way, Tumblr and YouTube have hooked up to bring us the scene with added slow motion.)

And then the end happened, and I remembered why two weeks ago I gave myself a stern talking-to about not letting Castle get my hopes up. Once they established that nobody related to the victim was going to claim the dog, it seemed only natural that Castle would take care of him, since there at least two if not three people in that apartment and Castle's schedule almost could not be more suited to dog ownership, and since he is clearly not anti-dog... You never do the "choose your owner" bit, don't you know that by now? Certainly not if there are more than two people in the room. And honestly, I could almost have lived with them not keeping him but REALLY? YOU'RE GIVING HIM TO THE BRAIN-DEAD REALITY STAR, JUST LIKE THAT?

rant on
Any lesson you were trying to teach me about the depth of the person under the bimbo did not take. She doesn't even walk her own damn dog. That is a fundamental part of dog ownership, people. It's like owning a horse to ride and never grooming it yourself. You're missing out on a huge bonding aspect. How can they possibly trust her to keep the dog for the rest of its life? It's a big dog. Craigslist experience shows that people are even worse at keeping big dogs than little ones. True, she won't have to worry about not being able to afford pet-friendly living space, but how about when she just gets bored with a dog she can't carry under her arm?

What if she hooks up with another unsuitable guy, one who is an insult to his gender and doesn't like Royal-sized dogs? WHAT THEN? Are the two of you going to check on his care? I saw no sign of Royal ~*inseparably bonding*~ with Lolita or vice versa; they probably just wanted to play with the only dog in sight. Dogs who are not my dog are like that. I literally don't understand how you can just instantly give up on a dog with whom you were both so enchanted. PLUS, you have no idea how much I was looking forward to the eventual day when the three of them all lived together permanently.  I have told you repeatedly that I don't care if it takes four more seasons to get Castle and Beckett together, but this will not stand. Why couldn't you have just said the vic had, like, a cousin in California who needed a couple of days to make travel arrangements, and the dog only needed care until then?
rant off

Still, favorite text to come out of Tumblr so far:
"Am I the only one who read this subtle conversation between the lines?"
  • Castle: It’s a big decision…
  • Castle: But I know you’ll make the right one.
  • Beckett: Who’s here?
  • Beckett: Who loves you?
  • Castle: You know in your heart.
second rant on
And then, to rub salt in my wounds, there was the other ending. I can't remember if I posted it here or not, but I threw a mild fit not too long ago about why Alexis didn't have a puppy growing up. I convinced myself she didn't want one. OH NO, SHE DID. SHE BEGGED FOR ONE. Castle apparently somehow a) assumed he would end up taking care of it (really? has he met his perfect daughter? I assume she's been perfect since she was at least 8), and b) had a problem with this idea, even if it was true. And since clearly he was not a dog-hater, now you're both baffling and insulting me.

Unless Castle actually follows through on his promise to adopt a dog within the next two episodes -- and Alexis, I'm going to pretend that you didn't just imply it was unnecessary to get a dog just because you won't be liviing with it full time; THAT IS RIDICULOUS when you know you've got a parent who will both pay for and care for it -- I will remain in a state of punched-in-the-heart-muscle distress. At least until the Castle's fantasy noir episode comes along, and we remember how much I loved the hell out of the AU on Bones.
second rant off

Other than that, I did very much enjoy all the Alexis scenes this week. Especially after getting clarification that Stanford outright rejected her. I don't believe it, but I'm glad.

Oh, and while this is not technically part of the rant, you have no idea who I would kill to see the him and Alexis go pick out a puppy. For that matter, I might as well throw out an unpopular fandom opinion: I do not presently want babies in the Canon Castle/Beckett future, but my hypothetical killing services are available to see them adopt a dog for real. Try not to screw me on this wish like CSI: NY did. In the meantime, here are a fic & sequel I have only skimmed but which appear unspeakably precious and definitely involve Beckett having a kitten: Fluff + Warm and Fuzzy.

Up Next: So excited. Not quite as much as I was for this episode, but I love AU. (often terrible in fic, awesome on screen) There is nothing better than getting to have your fantasies come to life on screen, just to take the edge off, without having to bite the bullet on the Point of No Return and deal with the ripple effect of whatever consequences it would have in canon. And normally I would not say noir itself is good at all, but CSI pulled it off to spectacular effect, so it's very possible I will love it here. I'm already salivating over the costumes, so...
------------
Pretty Little Liars, 2x17

Aria/Ezra: a small part of me wanted him to just not show up and for it to end forever here, breaking Aria's heart but at least doing it in a bittersweet way, where you don't have to face outright rejection. I wanted the epic rain kiss to change my mind, but while beautifully shot, it didn't do a whole lot for me. (and I just kept thinking, "How cold and uncomfortable are those actors right now?" Followed by "Wait, wait, wait, are they holding up traffic?") Except for that tiny bit afterward where she leaned against him all smiley and content, although I think the blackout jumped the gun and cut off a forehead kiss. Post-break, they lost me at Ezra worrying about her being safe (dude, for the last time, you stand to lose everything), and got me back at "I want you to be sure that this - that we - are what you want," and lost me again at the eye-rolling cheese of the remainder.

Edit: Damn! I refuse to surrender my cut text lyrics, but Tumblr has made judicious use of Drop everything now / Meet me in the pouring rain / Kiss me on the sidewalk / Take away the pain...

Spencer/Toby: The first thing I heard about this episode was that Toby was in the hospital, so naturally I made a beeline for all the clips. Which I had to work for, and also read two recaps to wrap my head around the plot structure because apparently this was a pretty great episode I should have watched in full. Eh, too late!

This continues to be the best love triangle since Lost, as Wren is still charming and sparkly, Spencer is nonstop heartbreaking, and Toby's entire life (save those few months of romantic bliss) consists of being a victim, which results in wonderful faces and expressions -- I especially liked him jerking away from Jenna's creepy touch and stubbornly defending Spencer as the most important person to him -- and then maybe some hot threats to punch out Wren from his hospital bed. I'm in awe of my own ability to meet everything that happens to this relationship with a giant grin and 100% optimism. Basically, until Toby starts making out with some random chick, I cannot be broken. ...please don't break me.

-----------
GIANT OSCAR NEWS: I do not have a qualm with a single one of the best picture nominees. Not one! This has never happened! The only two I am even vaguely worried about are "The Artist," because silent black and white movies are HORRIBLE -- yet apparently it features a cute dog? That could override the negatives -- and "The Tree of Life," because it has received near universal hate, but I don't even think it looks that bad. Obviously, I will be gunning for longshot War Horse, because it was the best picture (she says, not having seen it yet. That's how good it is). But The Descendants, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Help, Midnight in Paris, and Moneyball are all even movies I want to see.

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