Pt. 1 - This is the longest part, currently 1100 words...and actually, there are only about 5 more small sections to clean up (cutting superfluous text and adding transitions, mostly), and then finish the intro paragraph and it's done. Horatio centric and sticks tightly to the episode outline of "No Man's Land." Has a couple of unique scenes but mostly relies upon character study and dissection of Clavo's motives to move forward. Ends when the episode does. This excerpt, an expansion from the courthouse scene with Alexx:
She is bleeding yet she isn’t hurt, not compared to these other citizens. Her injury is neither life-threatening nor serious. He knows this, but it still tugs at him, one more problem that lies unfixed. He can’t leave her like that, so he hovers nearby, one eye on her. The cut on her head oozes a drop of maroon, trailing down her cheek, only a little too far right for a tear track. The doctor ignores it as she dresses another’s wounds. He stares at its path until she feels his gaze and wearily turns her head, too tired to tell him he can stand down. There are no more words, only a handkerchief blotting a drop in the tidal wave against them.
Pt. 2 - (yet untitled) Makes a big leap all the way to the end of "Man Down" and picks up after that episode ends. Eric-centric and jumps all over the map, in which I explore all kinds of things in his psyche, mostly relating to Marisol, and Speedle. Sort of a survivor's guilt thing in relation to the former, plus extra guilt with the latter because he connects the scenario with his sister's death first. Still hammering out the kinks that the memory loss has thrown in, but I'm sure I can work with that.
Last year’s wound on his arm still the faintest bit of a discolored scar, 2006 as good as tattooed on him, but already more healed than his parents. They’ll be crippled long after his hair grows back to cover the mark of 2007, just like the bullet fragments will stay lodged beneath, constant reminders, you survived what your sister didn’t.Pt. 3 - and this is why everything needs to stick together in one story...we're back to Horatio, to follow the outline of "Man Down." I haven't worked on this much because the other two are more important, but this is where I get to draw the real parallels to Speedle, and borrow from the original script description, "Hands and suit stained with blood," and the waiting game...the ending with Clavo, and so on. I've decided Clavo's gun will turn out to be empty of bullets.
Pt. 4 - and THIS is why I want to make things separate. I wasn't going to do it at first, but now I kind of want to - round up the remaining characters, and their reactions to the whole mess. I think it might end up just being a series of drabbles, unless I feel a great need to expand, because I don't know them well enough, but I definitely want to touch on Calleigh, Ryan, Alexx, and - oh yes - NATALIA. No, seriously. I don't have a single line written for Ryan, but Nat? Man, do I ever have ideas. Because much as I loved the fact that she was nowhere to be found in the montage of characters at his bedside in the hospital, Eric IS important to her.
The voice in her head mockingly twists the instructions she's been given, because it's not like she ever really earned their trust as a permanent member of the team, anyway. Stay here and hold down the fort, that’s a good rookie. We’ll call you if anything changes. You know, like if he dies.
Pt. 5 - I don't know if there actually will be a part 5, but it seems like if I'm going to have a 4-part story, I need to bring it to a solid conclusion. I just don't know who I'd use to voice it. I suppose I'd have to take one of the drabbles out of the above and make it a full-fledged chapter...that could be anyone, other than Nat. I don't know. I will cross that bridge when I come to it; I don't even have part 1 posted yet and I'd really like to fire it off soon, since the CSI Miami section is dragging these days...stories are staying on the front page for 2 or 3 days at a time. People aren't inspired to write, and most of what they are writing involves slash or OCs or crossovers or stupid humor, with occasional attempts to write serious stories that have a tendency to turn melodramatic, trying too hard to make an impact. A category which I probably fall into.
On the bright side, my stories in general have gotten a weird increase in reviews lately...they're just pouring in this month, half a dozen so far (yes, that's "pouring" in my world), which I find funny since I really haven't been writing new stuff or reviewing anyone else's.
"Democracy" was sort of a transitionary/filler episode, I guess, which swapped out Amita for a returning guest spot for Fantasy Baseball Kid Oswald. It's not that I dislike him, exactly, it's just that I don't see much point or purpose to having him around. And I was kind of tired of the whole point of the episode being Charlie's agenda to force him into higher education. Charlie steadily grated on my nerves as he continually repeated "You can work in any field you want, you'll able to do so much more...blah blah blah." You know what? Not all smart people are automatically happier just because they're taking classes. Maybe he doesn't want to work in a weird consulting job like yours. Maybe he likes having copious amounts of time to himself to skateboard and use his mad statistics skillz for purposes of amusement where they concern fantasy baseball, and nothing more. Maybe he doesn't want to spend time writing massive research papers detailing his work. And maybe you're right, and he WOULD enjoy having tough problems to work out on a regular basis, but you should at least consider the possibility that your "Cal Sci Rules All" approach doesn't hold true for everyone.
The plot was dull - there's no other word for it. On the bright side, Liz Warner was nowhere in sight, so that was an automatic plus. And I did like the scene where Charlie sadly realizes that after 2 dozen murder cases, he's becoming jaded; they just don't affect him the same way anymore. Aww. :(
The only thing I found truly noteworthy was the scene where Don goes up against the smarmy retired billionaire in the end. Smarmy retired billionaire takes great pleasure in informing Don all the ways his noble-minded crusade will fail miserably, and Don just stands there and smiles patronizingly, not backing down an inch...he was channeling Horatio Caine right there. Completely and 100% - that scene was straight out of CSI Miami. He even put on sunglasses at the end. I laughed aloud. But in all honesty, that intensity in his expression reminded me why he's my favorite Fed.
Oh, and Megan's off on some super-sekrit assignment now, I guess, because folders and desks and loose Hooded Sweatshirts of Disguise can only hide a pregnancy bulge for so long, and do nothing at all to hide the new baby that needs undivided attention. Bah.