Oh, I've got to have a better opening than that. How about, I love how the top communities on the LJ page have finally added a little variety, and I'm currently trying not to read any of the sad text and just focusing on the adorable photos on invisibledogs? Like these first two unfairly appealing cuties. Or this jaw-dropping black beauty, who luckily is one of the happy stories.
There, now we can get to the dumb stuff.
Grey's Anatomy, 8x18, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Anything not mentioned below is because I went flying past it in a deliberate and successful attempt to avoid storylines that suck and/or were stupid. In no particular order --
Derek/Lexie: oh gosh, their dynamic. I will even overlook the fact that Lexie is whining about her man problems because she called him her big brother and he scolded her for being work-inappropriate but offered advice on her problems any, way and, more importantly, fit some excellent attending/resident teaching in there.
Lionsgate: I'm sorry, after briefly considering all sides of the story, I have to go with the lion's owner. As much as I appreciated Bailey's endless well of judgmental judgment on dumbasses who own wild animals as pets, including her fantastic "Have I offended somebody? Grey, do you have a pet monkey?" speech, and as much as it seems obvious that the owner is in the wrong and in real life it is animal cruelty to keep wild animals inside a house, she got me with an unexpected knife twist at the end. Fifteen years? Fifteen years, you're telling me he was a docile house pet and her best friend? I'm sorry, there is just too much YouTube proof of affectionate lions, especially male ones, for me not to believe her side of the story if he was nice for that long. Her lame date probably did provoke the poor beast. I can't figure out how to excuse the lion then partially eviscerating her, but I'm sure there's a way. Poor Kirby!
P.S. Grey's, I am so proud of you for bringing on a lion, you don't even know. I love you and your animalia ways.
Teddy & The Old Couple: I knew they were going to break my heart, given this episode's grief theme and the fact that they had Sacrificial Storyline Prop stamped all over them, but I didn't expect them to kill the wife out of the clear blue. You are awful, and not even Teddy beautifully losing it over Henry at long last is enough to make it up to me. That only buys you a redemption pass from me wanting to pour honey on her head and let fire ants eat her alive for openly laughing at the poor support group widow -- and mocking! not content to even try to pretend it was just an inappropriate personal reaction, she went out of her way to berate and belittle the poor woman AND the dead spouse while she was at it. -.-
Owen/Secret-spilling: It took me a while to figure out that Meredith really didn't know about the affair until he told her, since it seemed like she was brushing him off and not wanting to talk to him from the beginning. They could have set that up a little better, because it's kind of huge that this is the first major thing Cristina *hasn't* shared with her.
Bailey stumbling upon the scene, on the other hand was amazing and matched only by her fantastic handling of the situation by informing him that he did a terrible thing but is not a terrible person. I wonder if I could apply this logic to my current feelings about Cristina. *thinks* Nope, still struggling with it. On the other hand, with that, Bailey has shot back to being my #2 character, bested only by April.
1) Sandra Oh is magnificient. They can have all the CSI style montages of lab work in the world if they're going to focus on her incredible faces and the maelstrom of emotions swirling around behind her impassive mask, threatening to break free at any moment.
2) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I think I just found something about her that offends me more than anything to date:
CRISTINA DOESN'T BELIEVE IN PETS??
"Bitch, I will hire an entire harem of women for Owen to cheat on you with until I feel better."
Owen/Cristina: But because I am on both and neither side between them this week, I howled with laughter when she threw her bowl of cereal in his face. And then rolled about and laughed some more. And then went to see if I could find a .gif of that fantastic moment on Tumblr so I could watch it over and over. (I found several)
Next week: COME TO ME, FLAWLESS OTP ANGST. *flings out open arms*
GCB, double-episode week (TITLES/EPISODE NUMBERS WOULD MEAN I CARED)
Honestly, when I read this article about "white marriage" on this show late last week, I immediately declared, "Well, that's it. I'm done. Forget you." But then Miami got super delayed so I watched both episodes (or at least up to 90% of the second one) and...sigh, maybe they have a point. Maybe that is even basically my idea of a perfect marriage if you can guarantee the commitment.
In other news, Carlene continues to prove she is more spectacular than Amanda, based on the latter's quotes below:
"Let me get this straight. You're trying to scare teens into celibacy?"
Me: ...and your point would be?
"All you're doing is demonizing sex. Making it out to be horrible and dirty!"
Still not seeing the problem.
Honestly, I don't really care if abstinence-only sex ed doesn't work. My head is wired so that I would hypothetically rather have pregnant teenagers ruining their lives than smart teenagers who know all about birth control having safe sex to their heart's content. Don't push me into a foot-stamping rant, because I will only get less logical/coherent and mature from here.
*cough* I swear those were minor issues. On bright side of things, I apparently didn't recognize her last week, but the woman clamoring to be matron of honor was last seen as my beloved Ditzy Kendra, sister of Crazy Terri Schuester on Glee, being pretty much exactly the same character here. LOVE HER. And also, both the pastor and Carlene's brother are showing some promise as being slightly less cardboard dudes than the rest of them. This could even have legs to get to season 2.
I hope I just jinxed it right there. I don't need yet another 2011-2012 show chain; this year has been insanely prolific and successful.
CSI: Miami, "Habeus Corpse," a/k/a season 10 finale
Allow me to put on my Robin Scherbatsky circa "Three Days" voice:
"You sons of bitches!"
"Sam's your murderess?"
I'm sorry, I just cannot concentrate on anything else about this finale until I pitch a fit about that. You don't get to use her as your sacrificial storyline pawn. Not after you had Natalia running her relentless, vicious character attack, having apparently wiped her memory clean of what it feels like to have people unfairly accuse you of being a lab-undermining spy mole. What even was that? She was acting like a high school Mean Girl at the party, like the levels we've seen on Survivor this year, that's how bad it was. Beyond immature and unprofessional. And I just...really, really wanted her to not be vindicated on any level. Besides, she's the one that isn't coming back next year even if the show gets renewed. Perfect time to write her off with a jail card!
It didn't even make sense for Sam to fly all the way into murderous rage. Ryan wasn't dead; he was barely even hurt. I get that you're pissed about being betrayed on a core level and having your career ruined, but that did not seem to warrant grabbing the nearest blunt/breakable object and repeatedly smashing your ex in the face. I'm just going to hang out in the early part of this scene where she freaks out over his well being, and maybe on her heartbreaking apologies at the end for letting him down. What's that, ship radar? You're still faintly pinging?
Setting up that stupid "woe is me, forever alone" Ryan at the end was not worth it. Not after he spent all that time being sympathetic and protective and White-Knightish. Let's pretend he still goes to bat for her, though. Like, even if he can't protect her from the charges, he can be a character witness and otherwise do everything in his power and influence to argue down her jail time.
In other news, nothing about this season has made me as happy as this picture:
Except maybe that picture in motion.
(stolen from a more complete set here)
(and we'll all just happily ignore how improbable it was that they would choose her over a stable married couple based on one reference from Eric about how she would lay down her life for her coworkers. Remember when she said "They're probably thinking, if I don't have time to finish an interview, how am I going to have time to raise two kids?" Because, yeah, that was pretty much what I was thinking. That wasn't even an emergency at work; as far as I saw that was just Walter not wanting to do a tedious part of crime scene processing.)
CALLEIGH WINS AN INSTA-FAMILY. HURRAH!
NEVER ENOUGH PICTURES OF THIS.
NEVER ENOUGH PICTURES OF THIS.
Finally: I was really worried the way they talked about this season ending on a cliffhanger (lol, lies) given how uncertain they KNEW their renewal status was, so I'm glad to see they pulled a concluding-type final scene out of their asses and managed to wrap it up well, emphasizing the family-like nature of the rest of the team and making you feel like this team, they'll be all right. Inferior to Queen Calleigh's awesome new insta-family, but fine for the rest of their peasant selves.
I will admit, I laughed at Ryan's response to Natalia's compliments being an offer to take her on the table right there. Also at that ridiculous kiss to Frank's big bald head. It was all perfectly lovely until Horatio sidled up like some sort of shadowy lurker demon and I felt a chill of discomfort in my very bones. Who invited the ghoul? I'm sorry, sir, but this show is no longer about you. The fact that you were largely sidelined for what could have been the series finale proved your irrelevance.
Basically: please kill it with fire, network. I want to sever all ties and I can only do that guilt-free if it's not my decision. When was the last time I asked you -- you, specifically, the Network of Gold -- to kill a show? Take that into consideration.
House, 8x16, "Gut Check"
I couldn't think of anything much to say about the last two episodes, and I'm writing them off now as irrelevant so I can crab at the show for jerking me around on Wilson having a son. Hey, look, I am spoiler-free on this series, it's hurtling toward a series finale, all bets are off. This would have solved all my problems re: all the times I have thought he'd make a good dad, as well as made me feel better about the fact that his love life has been a collosal failure. It would have been the only time in TV *history* that a secret kid popping out of the woodwork would have made me happy. Then it wouldn't matter if he never managed a successful marriage, because at least he'd have *something* permanent. And hopefully would stop wigging out quite so badly as he was starting to by the end there.
That said, I sort of suspected the kid was an actor hired by House as soon as did that fake glomp-on hug with melodramatic pleas not to send him to the jungle.
In other news, awww, Chase being lonely and jealous of Park having a close-knit family. Do I have to start wishing for a secret woodwork kid for him? Hopefully note, because he is not father material and I like the current arrangement of adopting Park's Popo just fine.
2 Broke Girls: And The Drug Money
I just wanted to spazz about the following things:
* ZOMG ADORABLE DOG/REGISTERED EMOTIONAL COMPANION. This show and it's animals! Continual delight!
(unnecessary soapbox segment: Full disclosure, I have always felt that registering "service dogs" to help you with your "emotional" issues is total BS compared to actual trained service dogs for people with actual physical disabilities or life-threatening medical issues. I am amazed that I feel this way, considering I think it can only be beneficial to society to allow as many dogs in as many dog-hating places as possible, but it somehow strikes me as mildly offensive/triviliazing to the people for whom those equality laws were designed. Also because I like to judge people, and if anyone gets to speak to panic attacks and anxiety disorders, it is me. But I somehow survived the torture camp that was college without a dog at my side. So suck it up and deal with your first world problems like a big girl.)
* Max's not-so-secret obsession with Law & Order is MARVELOUS. Every time you think she can't get more delightful, she does.
* This episode was barely gross at all! I think it confined itself to one prostitution crack and a few bathroom humor jokes (sometimes literally) about side effects
* I loved their minding-her-own-business roommate. (probably because she was basically me) Who needs to get into the whole name thing when you're just sharing a room for the night, right?
* I would seriously enroll in a drug trial if they provided board games and people willing to play them with me while we waited for potential side effects. Even AL. That is how much I love board games and lack enthusiastic partners.
* Awww, Caroline's midnight girl talk/support rally session, complete with Max holding her hand gave me all sorts of gushy friendship feelings.