* If I Die Young updated after the nervewracking cliffhanger that was chapter 28. Which is still technically cliffhung. But it is suddenly not looking too good, and I am an emotional wreck and cannot convince myself that this is a) just a story, and b) not even the real story; YOUR CANON CHARACTERS ARE SAFE AND SOUND AND NOT DYING, RS. Alas, telling myself this seems to have no effect. Waiting along with the characters in real time makes it feel that much more horribly bleak.
And neither of my go-to authors have released anything I can read lately, so it's not like I even have anything to distract me. Until Tuesday. When canon might actually step up.
* First Listen Friday was a cheeky bastard and decided to release one song an hour all afternoon, which was rage-inducing at the time (especially as Kurt's long-awaited solo didn't appear until right before I had to leave for work), but now I am just incessantly listening to the songs that don't suck and living in the klaine tag, basically. The exciting part about Glee covering Whitney Houston is that there is nowhere for these songs to go but up.
(well, that's what I thought, and then I remembered how viciously protective I am of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," and that songs can also flatline and suck no matter who sings them, Saving All My Love For You. But several of them have def. improved.)
* We are coming up on four solid months that Glee has been #1 with a bullet on my ranked list of TV shows. This is something like a record, for recent years, and it makes me insanely happy. Whatever issues I have with it, which I make sure to have on a regular basis, are ultimately overshadowed by the fact that "joy" is the predominate feeling that lingers behind. I feel sorry for all the bitter people who leave nothing but crabby comments on every article related to it. Don't you think life would be better if things made you happy? And this is coming from me, where I'm pretty sure I have doled out the exact opposite opinion on life many times and/or cited the therapeutic benefits of documenting, in detail, what you dislike about the source material for a particular fandom.
* Speaking of happy: at some point I should just compile a whole video playlist of upbeat Blaine solos. I think my life would be improved with twenty-five solid minutes or so of him dancing. I will kick it off with and title it "You Should Be Dancing."
Other stuff! I am apparently on a mission to watch my Monday shows in a different order every week, and though you'd never know it by this post, I actually had most of this stuff written up on Tuesday, I was just waiting to bundle it with HIMYM. Seems like wasted effort now.
House, 8x17, "We Need the Eggs"
It may not look like it, but this is actually the most fun I've had watching House for several episodes now.
-Sex dolls seem creepy. And less because of the sex part, surprisingly -- I feel like I could get over that, so long as it wasn't someone I was dating and I never saw it in action -- than just because, due to the realism, it seems like it would be less like having companionship and more like keeping company with a dead body. Still seems like it would be easier for everyone (including your wallet) to just have an imaginary girlfriend, though. Or carry around a fleet of ships in your head. Then you can make them talk to each other and it's so much less weird! Right?
-I liked this patient, but I wanted more of the cute redhead neighbor. I couldn't believe it when she fled the scene halfway through and never came back. I was so hoping that she recognized the doll for what it was and *still* thought it was awesome just because she'd never seen one.
-"Your last relationship failed so miserably you ended up in jail." That one was to keep us in perspective when we look at all other failed relationships on TV. "Did half your OTP end up in jail? Then quit whining!"
-"I'm not 5'9 with curves and flowing hair, so it's impossible for me to get it on with a good looking guy?"
I don't know why Park feels the need to keep making such obvious statements, but yes. On that note, waving my cheeky Chase/Adams flag and shooting waggly eyebrows their way despite not actually being emotionally invested.
-Dominica is gradually growing on me, as is House's subconscious attachment to her. This would be the most bizarre twist EVER in House's romantic life if they ended up here, but all right, I'll play along for now until I see what you're doing with it.
Castle, 4x21, "Headhunters"
I spent as much of my limited Chuck run as possible talking about how little I think of Adam Baldwin, so no need to rehash that. Slaughter did make for a few giggle-worthy scenes with Castle, so I'll grant them that. Definitely more fun than the last episode, or than I expect the next one to be. Laughed at Castle's dolls/action figure conversation, and the severed heads in a bag were also delightfully gruesome. Ryan sulking on the sidelines and muttering about how it feels like Castle is cheating on them was golden. But I what I really want to talk about are the surprise moments that I had no idea were coming, aside from the very fact that not knowing about anything that was coming in an otherwise-hyped was its own certainty that something lovely would happen.
* I don't know what I love more: how Beckett's face lights up when she sees him (I'm pretty sure it is emanating actual light, that's how bright her expression is), or how fast and openly it falls when she realizes he's not really there to see her.
* Aw to EV-ER-Y-THING re: Alexis and her college applications and her super pretty hair (that's just always worth a mention), but especially the first time that ham-fisted meta has not enraged me: "I guess the question is, do you want it badly enough to get over being hurt?"
* Beckett's "What if I waited too long?" meltdown. I feel like at one point, this was a legitimate standing mental health appointment, and gradually it morphed into Relationship Advice Hour. Which I am OK with.
* And my very, very favorite thing: protective!Castle hauling off and punching the insane and unbalanced detective without a second thought for perving on Alexis without apology. *fluttery feelings*
Smash, 1x11, "The Movie Star"
-Why, look at that. This show has its first instance of female casting fail. I can't stand Uma Thurman and her freaky beak nose with tiny eyes (side note: that is the first time I have ever hated on a person's nose. It's that bad). At best, this reminded me how grateful I am that she's stayed out of mainstream movies for the past several years.
-*headswats Derek* This gross mental head flirtation must cease. She is much too young to know she loves you so, and also, it is just gross to watch your infatuation bloom when Ivy is RIGHT THERE. Damn it, I was going to be shipping-resistant forever. You don't get to make me care just to break my heart. I am using all my willpower to believe these scenes mean only that you are infatuated with the character, and not the girl behind the illusion.
-Remember when I was so annoyed about the Chinese adoption plot? This storyline is still preferable to that, actually, but only slightly.
-Remember when Dev was so not interested in RJ? Me neither.
-My skip-forward button is getting liberal use tonight. Say, any time Tom and Sam interact, because I don't know how this is possible but they have even less chemistry than him and the Loser Lawyer. I think it's the age difference that is skeeving me out. Or the fact that Sam is excessively bland in both looks and personality. Or all of the above!
How I Met Your Mother, 7x21, "Now We're Even"
I am easily amused by this show, so all the title cards cracked me up. THE NIGHT WE BROUGHT A HORSE INTO THE BAR, THOUGH. HEARTS AND STARS IN MY EYES. Can we please have a subplot about that someday? I need to see Barney spend more time with that chestnut-coated beauty. It significantly ups the ante from the goat. This whole plot was actually pretty fun until they brought Quinn into it, and as always happens when they bring it back around to Quinn, you can actually feel the enthusiasm bubble pop as the fun sags lifelessly beneath the drudge of Barney's ball and chain.
Robin's helicopter-landing subplot, also entertaining. With no bubble-popping.
Seems like the rationale behind the green dress bet could have been a lot more epic, but I don't know how any more than the writers did. The solution, obviously, is to issue a challenge to the fandom: Write That Fanfic! If someone has already issued this challenge, please point me there.
-2 Broke Girls: Only this show could make an intense, suspenseful event out of watching someone file their taxes. Mostly it just made me really glad my dad is a tax preparer. Probably one of these years I should have him show me what you do, instead of just signing my name and waiting for money to magically appear in my checking account. Show-wise: as always, I love watching my friendships fight when I know that all will be resolved fifteen minutes later.
-NCIS, 9x21, "Rekindled": I was pretty much bored and sleepwalking through this, because no one interests me less than Tony these days, especially if it involves Baltimore. I was going to skip a review entirely, but instead I am here crying out my agony because there is just nothing more torturous for my mind than the idea -- especially if accompanied by an audio track -- of something or someone being conscious while trapped by fire until it kills them. Six thousand extra agony points if that someone is a little girl and crying for help and someone else is standing right there and has to make a conscious choice to walk away in order to save the only one you actually can help.
Literally can't deal with this. Three days later and I'm still squirming with knots of anxiety in my stomach every time I think about it and promptly conjure up all the news stories I have ever read about dogs and cats dying in house fires, like this but so much worse for being real.
-Survivor: Which Survivor auction item would you have bid on? I loved watching Kim win what she did, because she was obviously having a blast with her choices, but I personally would have thrown an immediate bid down on the doughnuts and iced coffee. Nothing beat that except possibly the immunity challenge assist. As for the voting, it rolled out in satisfying order this week. No complaints.
Turns out when you can't watch this show live, it gets way less exciting and I have taken to bouncing either right before they go to tribal, or sometimes even right after they finish the immunity challenge, when the scrambling gets too painful to watch. Still, I am having some fun watching Troy wig out, largely in vain, while Sabrina is openly bored by him and the totally non-threatened women keep casually splitting their votes.