In other exciting news, I found a new radio station! It actually plays the variety my old station used to claim (SO MUCH 90S/EARLY 00s) as well as the proper version of Somebody That I Used To Know. It still brings me the best of the current songs -- just at a restrained pace instead of the same set multiple times daily. It also brings me new songs the other stations don't have, which are better. (Can we talk about "The A Team"? Is that well known 'round the internet? Because it is gorgeous)
Castle, 4x22, "Undead Again"
Oh my god I hate zombies. Hate, hate, hate, and they're even worse on crime shows because they just lead to secondhand embarrassment (panic harder, Beckett) along with the boredom and inability to actually look at most of the episode due to the perfectly disgusting images contained in it. There were a thousand ways to write in your latest anvil-smash conversation that would have been less annoying.
At least the Castle/Alexis laser tag war was wonderful, and I'm glad they rescued it from itself before I had an apoplectic fit over Alexis saying she was too old for those games. I AM ALREADY HAVING A FIT ABOUT SOME OF MY GLEE KIDS. I don't need to hear any more 18-year-olds pretending like graduation ages them five years in maturity.
So it's a good thing that was in no way the case. My face may or may not have quietly lit up along with Castle's when she agreed to stay nearby for college in the end. I can compromise on not checking up on her all the time. Mostly since there's no way he will keep that promise fully.
(I actually understood where she was coming from at the beginning, though, because I - little old homebody me! -- ultimately rejected several schools for being too close. I didn't want to leave, but I felt like I had to go far enough away that I wouldn't feel like I was wasting money living in a dorm instead of commuting. It seemed sound at the time.
Up next: holy crap, promo, spoil more. Did you leave ANY surprises for the actual episode, or should we just cut to hiatus now?
(I get that it's my fault for watching, but geeze. Why couldn't Castle be one of those shows I forgot to watch until Sunday, instead of the first one on my list this week?)
Glee, 3x18, "Choke"
That was a whole lot of terrible. Are we just going to keep up this alternating pattern of awesome/awful for the rest of the year? Because I really don't want the finale to suck.
Things That Sucked
Domestic Abuse PSA: Bored with this entire storyline. (lol, guest actress Emmy consideration what?) Skip the textbook cliche speeches, hand them a copy of Bitter End. Faster for me. Need I remind anyone of how much I don't care about The Beast or her relationship with the unappealing goober? Less than zero. And yet, I can't stop myself from writing one more ill-advised paragraph.
"Nobody tells you what you're supposed to do when something like this happens."
Right. OH WAIT, EXCEPT EVERYONE. It seems near impossible to grow up in America and not be bombarded with a thousand ways to recognize domestic abuse and get out of it if you're so inclined. Of course, I'm not allowed to have an opinion about this storyline because I find it an acceptable choice to forgive and remain with someone you love dearly over being alone. Not saying women shouldn't take corrective action immediately, just saying that on a personal level, I would probably bristle if anyone suggested pressing charges or moving out after one punch with no prior history of abuse. Bitch, you don't know my life.
[I literally spent 75% of my review work time editing the above part down. This is as inoffensive as I could make it while still disagreeing with everyone. I don't even know if it still makes sense after all the justification I took out.]
Puck's Entire Storyline: Meh. Not even all the fun bro scenes could balance out the fact that Puck kept talking. Remember when he stopped being a main character this season? It was one of the few smart decisions in Glee history.
Bike Chanderson, The Friendship, Is Now Canon: Which, despite the lovely gratuitous boxing, is all I can take away from this scene because GROSS to literally every "hair tip" Blaine gives Mike. This is the opposite of a gel-ervention. (Tina, what is wrong with you trying to spread this plague around?) And can we go back to "gross" about the tip Blaine gives right before using water? I already have to keep Kurt's hands out of your hair when I'm busy dragging the two of you through my daydream playground, which for the record kills me; how dare you make it worse.
Cut For Time: Remember when the cast was tweeting spoiler photos of puppies and kittens for 3x18? And yet, here 3x18 is come and gone, with no fluffy baby animals in sight. Fingers crossed this is another week where the spoilers are tardy and they show up for Prom.
The Music Of The Night
Noted: Blaine gets no solos/duets, majority of music sucks. Coincidence?
Our section-title piece: (a/k/a "It's too early to be wearing a cape.") I don't know the original and I didn't love this -- his voice sounded lovely, as always, but the performance was just kind of creepy and awkward and cringe-worthy. Maybe if it were released in a full version I'd try harder to fall for it.
--Cell Block Tango: Boring, not here for girls in lingerie, and disqualified from ever being palatable with the inclusion of "Lipsch___." Still don't know why you're allowed to say that on TV. IF IT SOUNDS LIKE CURSING, IT IS.
--School's Out: Well, that was horrifying in every way.
--The Rain in Spain: Confirming why Puck never gets solos.
++Not the Boy Next Door: ...help. I want to listen to it on repeat [edit: done. locked & loaded], because it sounds angelic and it's rather storytelling, but because it's KURT singing it just rips my heart out through my throat, following up on all the pained noises I made about him getting ready to move out. The only thing worse than teens acting like they turn into adults immediately upon graduation is teens who can't wait to escape their hometowns because they feel like they don't fit in. I don't know the original context, but there is just way too much dual meaning in these lyrics, and I don't care who you are, your hometown -- assuming you grow up in a town and not an apartment in the middle of a city, which is soulless -- is the best place you will ever live.
Also, I can't watch this performance. The pants are literally obscene and his hip movements are not helping matters. I mean this in a thoroughly grossed out rather than turned on way.
-Shake It Out: I finally heard the original on the radio enough times to remember what it sounds like. So while I appreciate the continuity of Tina leading on Florence + The Machine, much like last time, I vastly prefer the original (and am busy fallin' in love with it on principle as we speak). The vocal work here is too thin, and not nearly enough instrumental backing.
+Cry: I want to listen to this on repeat too, but so far it's hard to concentrate because it rips my heart out even more despite being a little more bland, musically speaking. Rachel, why are you so tragically beautiful?
Things That Were Lovely: Outnumbered, But Expanded To Look Way Longer
Kurt's Audition/Preparation: I'm turning this into a list of what I loved between the two instead.
- Blaine's heart eyes (though nothing could possibly be as great as the promo still) and general enthusiasm.
- The fact that Tina was helping him out. What are "friendships we've never seen before but which would be super awesome?" I especially liked Kurt's afterthought of a thank you and Blaine's sheepish wave. (King and Future Queen of Glee Club??)
- Kurt's confident backstage face melting into sheer nausea and terror when Rachel scampers up with her Carmen news. Followed by seeking out her hand and not letting go.
- I do love how quickly he reads what's-her-name's tone and changes gears in a heartbeat. I love that it takes him like two seconds to go from squeaky-voiced and anxious to totally OWNING that stage, no trace of nerves, just pure opening yourself up to joy with some beautiful leaps and kicks. And I'll have to live with the memory of those words, because as much as I love his face throughout, two repeats is my limit for those pants. PUT THAT AWAY.
- King & Queen of Glee Club! With bonus favorite-when-he-acts-like-this teacher in the background.
- How Kurt's eyes turn back into saucers and he's rendered totally mute as soon as the song is over (aww), until the news is good. Has he ever looked happier than he does in this moment? It's beautiful.
- The half cut off shot of Blaine blowing a kiss at the end of it (TUMBLR SEES ALL)
- Also, I hate myself, but I have been skimming all the fic regardless of rating while trying to find supplementary pieces for headcanon. There can only be one NC-17 post-ep for this part, and this is the one I have chosen: All That Glitters - skintightsocks. (author's note of win: "Sadly, this is not titled "A Gold Rush (In My Pants)" because one of us hates joy, so hopefully the alternate cliched title works.")
Rachel's Audition: I'd be in more of a rage, but this was spoiled weeks ago and I've already moved into a numb state of denial. Something will fix this and it will be fine. Instead I'm just going to handclasp over how lovely she sounds on DROMP (a song I found dreadfully boring at Regionals 2010), how beautiful she looks, how hard she breaks my heart when she totally breaks down, and how much I love Kurt & Blaine sitting worried and then shell-shocked in the audience ("This isn't happening," indeed). My only complaint is over why Kurt does not have an unconscious death grip on Blaine's hand. I've fixed it in my head.
Kurt & Rachel: I love all elements of her semi-misguided pep talks and am very much in love with her offer to be Christine and his giddy acceptance, and the fact that he doesn't hesitate for half a second to insist that she is coming to New York by hook or by crook, but this takes the cake:
I LOVE YOU, RACHEL BERRY.
Aaaaand dying happy now. I can hardly even focus on Rachel's devastation, I'm so in love with the empathy pouring off Kurt's face throughout this scene. Say more nice things. Where they were in season 1 compared to now... But that line, with spontaneous hug = absolute highlight of the hour. I cannot believe they have turned into one of my top five relationships, romantic or otherwise, on this series.
(speaking of which, remember when, Blaine and Rachel were just hanging out off screen and talking about Kurt's planned audition pieces? Fic, please)
Finn & Rachel: lol, just kidding. Finn and Rachel can't even get my ship radar to work when she is crying in his arms. What is wrong with this picture? I mean, besides the fact that I just want her to be crying in Kurt and/or Blaine's arms. Or even Quinn's. Stupid useless boyfriend. He is like sixth or seventh down on the list of "people I would like to comfort her," trailing behind Jesse and her mom and Mr. Schue in addition to the above. Albeit still ahead of her dads, so that's something.
Blaine's Wardrobe: Oh bow tied bows, where have you gone...Glee's getting old and I need something to rely on... I don't know what to do with their sudden absence! Part of me loves how much sharper and smarter he looks all of a sudden, yet a small part of me misses their cuteness. Either way, *switches gears*, I continue to love all the repeat clothing choices on him all of a sudden. Realism, wardrobe??
Up Next: So not touching the perfection of last year's Prom, which grows ever-more-legendary in my heart as the months pass and I keep watching it obsessively, always finding new things to love. But Senior Prom still looks really good. Perhaps will tie? Or at least land in the "Awesome" category of episodes this year. PLUS: my recent obsession with "What Makes You Beautiful" takes over and becomes Glee-ality. *Brad fist-pump.gif*