I guess that is my way of saying that this was a tremendously delightful affair. Does it match the slow-burn brilliance of "Prom Queen"? Not really. But it makes a very good junior sidekick.
Glee, 3x19, "Prom-a-saurus"
This started as a quick list of bullet points. Then I added subheaders. Proceed with caution.
* I am declaring all of the actual music desperately blah -- which is depressing, because KURT/BLAINE/RACHEL AT LONG LAST, and also QUINN DUET -- except for What Makes You Beautiful, which was basically identical to the original and just as enjoyable. The only changes were when it was vastly improved by Joe opening it and vastly undercut by Rory getting a verse. It was still no "Friday," which as of this week I have done a 180 on and decided I adore with every fiber of my heart, but the boy band antics and the crowd's subsequent sex riots are still near and dear to my heart.
* That said, I liked how they snuck important conversations into the middle of all the prom songs so as to force us to pay attention/dilute their suckiness a little. I was fond of the sidebar on Mike & Tina with her dismal "I don't want everything to end" fears. Also, Mike's enthusiasm for dinosaurs is precious.
* Fashion! Let's talk about the only people whose clothing choices matter:
Kurt: Loved the top hat. Really loved watching fandom break its collective brain trying to figure out the symbolism behind his necklace.
Quinn: she looked more classically elegant last year, but I cannot tear my eyes away from those wonderful sparkly rhinestone straps, nor her bold choice of color
+Tina: because while her dress alone would have failed, the filmy see-through fabric of the shirt part over it made the look. I don't know what you call that fabric, but I love it.
* Performance-wise, nothing on earth makes me happier than the idea of Kurt & Blaine coming around to cheer up Rachel through shared song (and stop it, Blaine. Your voice does not get to work its magic on me here). And their stupid faces smiling at each other and their cute conversation afterward...SIGH. I just want them to be a fabulous New York trio. I was implicitly promised this spinoff once.
[edit: son of a bitch. This song is still terrible -- can't stand the original, much less the awkward choice to add guys to its first person lyrics -- but despite fandom's crabbing I loved how it was cut together in the episode. Blaine's part makes more sense as a harmony supporting Rachel, and Kurt's solo lines are all heavenly, buth the way he sings I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you so deliberately at her the second time just sneaks and and steals away my heart. Now I keep listening to the studio version because I...crave...those parts and it's easier to cue up a song than an episode clip. Result: it's got its musical hooks in my brain, and when I go on my next Glee song shopping spree, I'm probably going to add this.]
* Appreciated any and all references to Kurt's queenly win last year, particularly acknowledging that it was humiliating regardless of any misguided applause or Prince Charming dances he eventually got.
* "It's not funny, I don't wanna go." Blaine's childish whining/pouting/sulking when Kurt & Rachel laugh at his Very Legitimate Fears Of Static Electricity is the funniest thing. Never fails to make me burst into giggles.
Anti-Prom (note strong resemblance to "Obnoxious Klaining")
* "If you wanted to go to the prom I would have gone with you." Despite everything else that happens with them, this sweet little pledge warms my heart more than anything else.
* Live Viewing Note: "Damn. Should have been more specific when I wished for Kurt and Blaine sharing a hotel bed by the end of the season."
(I still feel like this was Glee, in traditional wayward-wish-granting fashion, attempting to follow up on my hope for a panning shot of the boys' room at Nationals where everyone's still asleep and these two happen to be together. I dream big.)
* Tumblr has already made excellent use of the situation, though. My favorite is this set, mostly as the last one is the only text I am ever going to see in this scene from now on:
But in the real version: I like how he hesitantly insists it's "really bad," in a tone that suggests he hopes maybe someday Kurt will see it and not care. Emphasis on "someday."
* NON-KLAINE COMMENT: The one useful thing Puck does all night: nonchalantly sit around with his bag of snacks, intently watching Finn and Rachel kiss. XD (Kurt and Blaine wouldn't let him have his Skinemax. A man has needs.)
* She was mostly irrelevant, my desire to anoint her QUEEN/PRESIDENT OF ALL THE THINGS for banning hair gel having died beneath her decision to crush unicorns/Castles in the Clouds as a Prom theme and ability to ruin the poor committee's year of hard work with her blithering woman-child approach to logic.
* I literally cannot hear a difference between Ke$ha and Brittany's singing voices, which I'm pretty sure reflects poorly on both of them (it's also HORRIFYING every time that voice attacks my ears at the beginning). And yet, I keep watching this because the dino heads on the dancing Cheerios fascinate me.
Quinn For Queen
or, LET THE VERBAL CONTRACTS BE UNBROKEN, PART II: QUINN IS STARTING TO WALK.
* Flailed throughout the therapy scene. Would have done my heart better if Joe had actually caught her instead of just watching her crash on the mat, but beggars can't be choosers. I'll just be over here, quietly gleeing at his sideline cheering. Also at her fabulous purple workout ensemble, from literally head to toe.
* I love the gal who comes bustling up to sniffle over Quinn's inspiring bravery. Can we have her for glee club?
* The overly sensitive side of fandom is flipping its shit over Finn's warning signs for domestic abuse and how he should be arrested on attempted assault charges, so my natural impulse has been to rush to his defense on the whole gym-shouting scene. As far as he knows his anger is justifiable, Quinn looks peeved and obviously unhappy about how he's causing a scene but not particularly threatened, etc.
Then I go back and watch him bullying her in the bathroom, despite her crying and begging him to stay for her, and I want a T-Rex to rip him apart.
* Of course, the real reason I like the Jerk Finn scene's existence is because it provides an opportunity for Joe to charge to her defense and shove Finn back with very appropriate shouts of "What is wrong with you?" Chivalry approved.
* I can't tell you how much having their scene at the beginning of "What Makes You Beautiful" available as a sneak peek helped me get through the last week of work. Kurt, your face, your delightfully touchy-feely encouragement! Also:
* I think I've mentioned it in about nineteen different places by now, but it is just rude to pretend like our only choices for Blaine's hair are "shellacked monstrosity" or "electrical socket mishap." I still prefer the latter by far, because at least it is touchable without feeling like you would leave grease spots on paper after coming into contact with it. It...could have looked a little better, but what do I know, I only see about a hundred pictures on Tumblr a day of Darren Criss and his unfailingly gorgeous hair in varying lengths and styles. It's not like I cry myself to sleep sometimes over the travesty of what they do to it for Blaine lately. (it's really not.) (but that is only a mild exaggeration)
* Speaking of Tumblr, would you like to put my feelings into words about the reveal? "The way he tries to smile, but it dies so quickly. ... he tries so hard to be positive, like, ‘It’s really not that bad, right?’ But he’s just so nervous and self conscious that within an instant he know he can’t be convinced. It may seem trivial to everyone else, his hair, but to him it clearly means something.' (spookyclaire)
* I will apparently never tire of Kurt telling Blaine he's proud of him. Not if Blaine is going to melt into that same absurdly grateful puppyish head tilt every time. Who's a brave, handsome boyfriend? You are!
* Can we stop and appreciate how Kurt tugs him back and forth while sing-songing those adjectives?
* Also can we talk about how concerned he looked watching Blaine's relief at being released for emergency gelling? Because it gets to me.
* I think my new Tumblr tag for them might be "otp: don't you dare."
The Quinn/Rachel hallway scene is presently being ruined by Tumblr's inability to keep it in their pants, but with enough effort, I am going to be able to enjoy it the way I want to. Rachel's beautiful outpouring of unbridled respect and love and admiration is everything I have wanted their relationship to be for pretty much as long as I can remember.
"Do you not understand what you mean to me?"
When we first met, you were everything I wanted to be. ... You don't understand. I still see you that way." (I like it in its non-tempered form)
"When I look back on my high school career, the one accomplishment that I'm going to be so proud of is that I found a way to be your friend."
We Were The Kings And The Queens, And They Read Off Our Names
* I love Kurt's nonplussed reaction to being called up on stage. Mostly I love that Tumblr was paying attention when I wasn't to the fact that Blaine says something to him, and whether it is Popular Theory #1 ("Love you, Kurt") or Popular Theory #2 ("You can do this," in parallel structure), I am happy either way. It could be something else entirely and I'd still be happy.
* Also the reaction cutaways to both Kurt and Blaine after the mention of a second year of prom anarchy. #PERFECT
* I got spoiled early for Rachel winning and promptly became a rage tornado. I calmed down considerably after I saw how she became queen, and 90% of me wants to love the beautiful gesture it was for Quinn to give that to Rachel, but...
* I'm frustrated. I mean, of course I wanted nice things for her -- she's beautiful, she makes a lovely queen, she takes my breath away as it is and the tiara just completes it. And maybe if Quinn had gotten her tiara when she deserved it last year (constant war in my heart, what I wanted more -- Kurt in tears or nice things for her), I'd be OK, but...I want Quinn to have a crown. I do. I don't care if she claims to have transcended it, Quinn has wanted this without interruption almost as long as we've known her. I refuse to believe officially winning didn't affect her at all. You might, in the moment, think you'd rather give it to your friend. But that doesn't mean you genuinely stop caring, forever, just like that. This is going to gnaw at me. The best I can do is make my peace with Rachel being an acceptable alternative. I mean, it could have been Santana. I shudder to think.
tl;dr: It's not right...but it's okay.
* Fittingly sweet moment to have Kurt crown her
* My entire thought process during the Finn/Rachel conversation in the last song:
- Where is Klaine
- Where is Klaine
- Cut to Klaine already
- Why didn't Kurt and Blaine talk during Dancing Queen?
- GAYNESS NOW. STAT.
- Ahhhhh (nothing else: *matters*)
- Except: Quinnnnnnnn. With your shaky brave standing, and...you can't take her from me next year, you can't.
* The degree to which I cannot stand Becky is quickly spiraling out of control. She ruins every scene she's in. Not that it was possible to make a scene with a mostly naked Puck worse, but you know what I mean.
* Puck trying to spike the punch was by far the worst plotline of last year's Prom, and it does not get better the second time around
* I want to rip Santana's hair out by the roots every time she gets on her self-righteous High Horse about Rachel's motives for throwing an Anti-Prom. Singing one Whitney Houston duet does not give you the right to be involved in her life. At all.
Up Next: I am going to handle the next two one at a time.
One, I should never be subjected to a Darren Criss largely without hair -- FINE, YOU HAVE PROVEN YOUR POINT, THERE ARE THINGS WORSE THAN TOO MUCH GEL -- and two, this feels like it is going to throw serious doubt on how much I actually love Blaine on paper. Having to deal with twice the anguish at once seems unpleasant.
**All the spoilers now, if Kurt and/or Blaine are involved, and I don't even care
Hey, remember in summer 2011 when I was all pragmatic about Glee kids graduating and came out in favor of it for realism? That post is fascinating to me, like some stranger wrote it, because right now I can't think past "YOU CANNOT TAKE MY BABIES FROM MEEEEEE *SOB*." (Although by "babies" I really mean Rachel, Kurt and Quinn, and wouldn't care if I never saw any of the other seniors again. 2011 Me just wants to know how the hell Kurt got on that shortlist.