I'm sorry, what is the point of Cougar Town without Bill Lawrence at the helm? That is a solid 33% of why I like it. Emotional investment: gone. I mean, what little I had was gone the day they announced Grayson was going to have a Surprise Kid pop out of the woodwork (WORST. WORST OF THE TROPES), but now I'm really done.
More comment replies on my giant backlog to follow later, I just wanted to scratch more shows off my to-watch list.
Grey's Anatomy, 8x24, "Flight"
Prior to viewing this: please make sure pick up your Fangirl Emergency Preparedness Kit.
Why do I feel so...emotionless after watching that? I mean, it threw in all the right ingredients. Delightfully bloody injuries (serious and superficial), impromptu surgery (serious and semi-superficial), dying love declarations. One couple dealing with separation and injury, and one best friendship to lean on each other. These are things that are good. I went in all prepared to declare it 2nd-best-finale-ever, but somehow everything just rang...hollow.
I didn't feel a sense of desperation and urgency, no matter how much Meredith sobbed. I appreciated that for the most part they left Arizona alone and ignored her, because I had zero interest in her, but even when they focused on my group, it was a pile of "meh." I adore Lexie, not as much as April, but she's among my top 6 Grey's characters of all time. I should be upset. I should be furious -- especially given how I was gunning for Arizona with everything I had -- but I'm just sitting here, numb.
I think I may in shock. That's it. That's the excuse I'll use. I haven't really let it sink in that after all these years they'd just, boom, whack her for dramaz. Apparently Chyler Leigh's showkiller vibe is so strong that when it fails to take down an unsinkable show, the pressure ultimately turns inward. At least her goodbye was relatively sweet, given the circumstances. Best possible way to go.
Of course, I am also of the opinion that Arizona should just shut it and let Mark die in peace, because Lexie was the only thing that ever successfully humanized him. I couldn't care less about his role in the ridiculous little accident family I spend most of my time pretending doesn't exist. She's waiting for him, and I don't mean Sofia. (You know how I like my love stories wrapped up.)
I did quite like all the bits with Derek. That hand looked so gruesome I had to look away, but I loved him finding Meredith, even if they threw in a commercial break at the worst possible time. (First Response Team Meredith/Cristina for life! Closing gaping wounds with pins! Now we're getting somewhere) Meredith and Cristina's bit of bonding was the other highlight. Loved Meredith crying that Cristina was still her person, regardless. Cracked up at the title line -- I mean, I still can't get over how we have added "plane crash" on top of "shooter loose in a hospital" when you consider super-rare-once-in-a-lifetime tragedies.
Maybe I was peeved because there was too much focus on what was happening back at the hospital where Callie wouldn't shut her horrible, obnoxious mouth. Her gross sex life was bad enough; talking about how good the duck would taste was the absolute last straw. I cannot handle people reveling in consuming animal flesh and blatantly refusing to retain appropriate shame about it. I am off to believe in a world where April had both a pet cow and a pet duck and never had anything whatsoever to do with pigs being slaughtered, either.
That is a weird thing to fixate on, given how it was just a throwaway line. Still not deleting it.
The hospital also would not stop shoving Obnoxious Ex-Chief in my face, along with Ben/Bailey, which I do not care about in the slightest. Miranda-in-a-relationship = useless Miranda.
What I did enjoy at the hospital was that brief snippet of Jackson/April, which is shaping up to be the most tragic story in the world. I want to come back in September and find some impassioned declarations happening. They have already taken a beautiful thing and smashed its face in with their continued focus on the sex, which makes that hookup less and less acceptable every time they bring it up until I would rather go back to this ship never happening at all. They are actively erasing feelings in my heart. So I need something spectacular to bring them back. ...and didn't they already do this feelings-ruining thing with Gizzie? This pain seems familiar. All the more reason to give it a different outcome.
What I really enjoyed at the hospital was Teddy's beautiful, teary speech about her loyalty keeping her at Owen's side when he has nothing else. Which is slightly hard to swallow given that this fact is technically his fault. And really hard to swallow after his firing speech, which just tells me he has entirely too much power of late. I see the intent. I don't like it. I refuse to accept that anybody needs a new job, no matter how fancy and prestigious it is or what potentially-flawed reasons they chose for turning it down, unless he was just hoping to avoid another hate flareup when she blamed him for getting stuck here? Still not okay. I am vaguely hopeful that this could lead to a pretty Epic Reunion on C/O's part, though. I'm down for Epic Reunions.
[edit: holy crap, Kim Raver is really out for good! I have just been assuming that nothing is set in stone until next season starts, but I guess Teddy's exit is. Wow. Huh. But, but, she's relatively tolerable and non-threatening these days. I wouldn't mind keeping her. Couldn't Justin Chambers be the next person to get bored of this crap? Or Eric Dane?]
Maybe what's really missing from this finale is the sense of closure. I'm not even mad at the lack of closure, because I knew it would be this way going in, it's just blatantly annoying at this point. Almost more annoying than a cliffhanger consisting of the final scene last week would have been. At least then I could have imagined all sorts of amazing possible scenarios, instead of being presented with the limp setup we got. I felt like things were just starting to get interesting when it ended. I want to hang out more with the Mer/Der/Cristina trio overnight.
In conclusion, yawning and patiently twiddling my thumbs until September.
P.S. Because there is no way I'm saving this in a Notepad document all summer, here for my personal reference are all the Glee roles I assigned after tearing my hair out in frustration when one piece always refused to fit.
[Spoiler cut because it embarrasses me to look at it, so now nobody has to.]
I finally had to come up with the idea of split time. Now it's not really so much full role replacement as Scene Clip Substitution With Additional Context Details From My Head. It doesn't have to make sense to you.
Derek = Blaine
Meredith = Kurt (except when Meredith is actively panicking about Lexie. Then it's briefly Rachel's role)
Cristina = Rachel (She really should be Mer, but I couldn't deal with how much I didn't care about Finn. So now he's not here.)
Lexie = Quinn (or Emma for the actively-dying part)
Mark = Joe by necessity, unless I can recapture the feeling of not hating Sam (alternate option: Will. Regardless of who plays Lexie. It's my AU, she's 18, I'll do what I like. Also, this role dies in my version since there is obviously no impromptu surgery happening)
Arizona = Tina
Pilot = Mike (as a trapped passenger, because otherwise this character is just so useless, why is he getting screen time. My Glee pilot is simply dead.)
...I should really go look for plane crash fic. Fandom seems to have covered every other AU, why not that.
Private Practice, 5x22, "Gone, Baby, Gone"
I didn't get the fuss at the beginning and why it was considered so 'omg horrible killing a baby.' Everything they described about its quality of life sounded identical to brain dead patients, and if you're okay with that, then what is the big deal on a technicality? Answer: they might have, I don't know, mentioned how it would at least look conscious. But then, they also might have mentioned how fast it would go from "breathing" to "dying," so I was soon back to not seeing the difference between brainless and brain-dead.
That said, everyone needed to stop badgering Sam to join the transplant team with their sob stories about the people they wanted to save with its organs. "Just because you're going to die doesn't mean I have to rush the process" is an extremely valid perspective. As previously stated, nobody "deserves" organs just because it's possible. Life is life regardless of quality, and if that is what you believe, then it's no more okay to do this than it is to order a hit on some homeless drug addict so your dying girlfriend can have a heart. Really unhappy with how the peer pressure worked out, even if Sam is a giant tool whom I want to fail at everything.
(remember that magical time when he was the only doctor who could do no wrong? Hah, hah. How many years has it been since that was true?)
In other storyline news, can I please just enjoy my Jake/Addison (which is hard enough now that they've moved into the gross hookup stage) without Sam being a giant tool? Ugh. Ugh! Worst marriage proposal ever.
Favorite part of this finale was still Jake rubbing Amelia's back through labor and getting her to let go and cry. Yes-yes. I don't want to relinquish this partnership to Sheldon just because she's no longer pregnant. I need mentor!Jake to remain a fixture in her life.
Also I am really sad that the title did not refer to the birth mother demanding Henry back, because I have only survived this long by assuming he would not be a permanent fixture in this world. Soon he will annoy me more than Zola.
I'm out. I mean, not for good, but for the season. With relatively minimal interest in the next chapter, by which I mean some interest, but nothing I'm desperate to see before the four-month waiting period is up.
Dear 30 Rock Season Finale:
Hey, remember how happy Jack/Avery (eventually) made me last year and how sad I was when she vanished for Real Life Movie Star demands? Remember how last week when I was doing a happy dance that she was back, and how I didn't even care about the rumbling issues because I was too busy being entertained that Scott Scotsman and his serial killer face was a little revival of Scrubs: Med School? No, because I wasn't aware I needed to mention such joy. Scott Scottsman! GREATEST. The end.
Did you even pay attention to how twitterpated my heart was this week when all the potential Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace troublemakers were neutralized? No, because apparently my ability to suppress all of the warning signs was no good; they decided to haul off and get divorced, claiming grounds of shotgun marriage like we did not all see the same awesomely ultra-Republican brain waves they shared.
I just saw the episode in syndication last night where they first meet. It was precious. She made very fond faces at the end! And now you are going to foist a divorce on me just because Real Life Movie Star Demands prevent her from being a regularly recurring character?
2011 Me: 30 Rock, quit being weirdly heavy! That means you are to fix this nonsense with Avery immediately. I'm all invested and stuff now that they're married.
^ THIS IS NOT HOW YOU PROPERLY FIX STUFF.
It was admittedly great to see that Margaret Cho's Kim Jong-Il has not died.
P.S. You get your tenterhooks in James Marsden The Movie Star and you KEEP HIM, do you understand? KEEP HIM. Because while I keep getting the sense he is rather younger than Liz and that's awkward for me when it comes to them planning lifelong situations with plants, every time he whines about being treated like a girl, I like him more. And I like the idea of Lemon one day having kids. I continue to hold this poor relationship at arm's length, pleased in theory but not quite sure what to do with it, and yet if you take one more thing away I am going to panic. Mostly out of disbelief that I am having feelings about the relationships of cartoon characters.