And these are just the ones at top-level stupidity after I managed to eliminate the lesser offenders. How am I supposed to narrow this field down to one?
- Blair picks Chuck (Gossip Girl)
- Booth and Brennan claim to be in love with each other (Bones) - also my season 4 self is crying
- Burt Hummell wins a Congressional seat by a landslide (Glee)
- Everybody thinks that Amy is gay because she wants to get married on the 4th of July, which is "a gay holiday" (Secret Life of the American Teenager)
- Executed serial killer Lucy is in fact alive and actually has a chance of getting custody of baby Hope (Raising Hope) - WHAT? I forgot this show existed and I like it that way.
- Finchel engagement (Glee)
- Just a few days after being able to walk, Quinn can do choreographed dances at Nationals with no issue (Glee)
- None of the students find out if they got into college until graduation day (Glee)
- Quinn tries to get her baby back from Shelby by attempting to plant evidence that will make CPS take her away...and give her straight to Quinn, obviously (Glee)
- Sebastian injures Blaine but is not disciplined by his zero-tolerance-for-bullying prep school (Glee) (and can we all just remember that it's Kurt's fault? Like, literally nobody else's.)
- Sue is pregnant (Glee)
- The adoption storyline (Smash) - though in fairness that went away super fast.
To be replaced by a way better adultery storyline. *eye roll*
- The whole Robert California storyline (The Office)
- Will Schuester suddenly doesn't know Spanish despite having taught it for years.
Top 5 Season 3 Glee Performances
5. Joe, Sam, Mercedes & Mute Quinn: Stereo Hearts
Instantly catchy (still not sure how this didn't make everyone instantly love Joe like I did), wonderful performance put on
4. Blaine, Kurt, Mercedes, & possibly Rachel/Brittany: Love Shack
I fall in love with all the dancing in this more every time I watch it. “Spreading love wherever he goes,” indeed.
3. New Directions: ABC/Control/Man in the Mirror*
*I AM A DIRTY ROTTEN CHEATER, I REALIZE THIS. But you can arguably look at it as Jackson medley, so let's pretend it is just one extra long arrangement, since it's far and away their best competition set of all time.
ABC is the clear champion of this group (only one that would have made the top 15), with Tina skipping forward to lead like an adorable ringmaster while everyone has an insane amount of fun, and we are just going to ignore Kurt's spoken bridge and the assorted horrible things that Sam brings to it (both of which should have disqualified it). But then there is Control - awful spoken Quinn intro, but almost as much bounce and fun, and Blaine gets to share lead with Artie, so. And Man in the Mirror has that triumphant sound of sealing a win.
The real reason I'm including this as one set piece? Because I think it might be the best part of the season. Whenever I think about the club, I go right back to this late fall night, far away from any devastating end of year heartbreak, just the group at its peak. OK, without Rachel, but it's so good you actually forget she's not there.
2. Sebastian & Santana: Smooth Criminal
So close to my favorite. The sharp cellos, the smoldering singer chemistry (hate!sex is my headcanon FOREVER), the stalking around the chair circle, inability to stop singing “Annie are you okay?” for days...nothing short of hypnotizing.
1. Blaine & Rachel - Extraordinary Merry Christmas (+ post-performance .gifs)
Be honest, you sort of knew I couldn't give it to anything else. They are my King and Queen of Glee Club for a reason, and they are so adorable and charming here it dazzles me endlessly.
And finally, book wishes:
A) After a quick discussion thread on what book Chris Colfer could possibly have been referring to in the quote "I've been obsessed with fairy tale characters since my mom started reading stories to me as a kid," said the now-22-year-old actor, adding that the book his mother read didn't have illustrations but photos of dolls in various positions, this amazing thread has links to the coolest kids' books I've never heard of, want to own immediately, and which of course cost an arm and a leg.
B) Remember how super excited I was to ILL-request those rare old horse books? Yeah, I contacted the libraries directly because they kept disappearing from my list, but Midnight Moon is in storage and actually not available, and worse, Snowman was reported as "lost." LOST? DULUTH, HOW DO YOU LOSE A $200 BOOK? The answer better be that some horse-loving student made off with it and chose to pay a comparatively miniscule replacement fee. I am not beaten yet - I've still got a brother in college; come September I will pay him if necessary to request nationally via WorldCat with his student ID. And on bright side, Silver Birch is now in transit. 1 for 3.