RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Oh hey, it's an overdue TV post.

Once upon a time when the Olympics closing ceremonies were almost over, and I was still blissfully unaware of the havoc being wreaked on the set of Glee at that exact moment, I watched the pilot of a really stupid new show called "Animal Practice."

I don't know if it was just the pilot or if it'll always be like this (I suspect always), but I felt like the show was just screaming in my face the whole time. It was exhausting. Jason Kirk is creepy and unappealing in every way -- someone said offhand that the role should have been given to Greg Germann, and damn it if I don't now think it would have been salvageable with a decent face. The pervy woman is basically the female version of characters that Todd Giebenhain plays (Raising Hope, Malcolm in the Middle). I still want to bludgeon the Undead Monkey and I don't get all these reviews saying that thing is the best part of the show (why can't we have a cute Capuchin like on Friends?). I also don't get all these reviews praising Tyler Labine's dumb face.

No, the only good parts of this show were Juanita's deadpan reactions and Joanna Garcia (I will never add the Swisher), but even the latter's perfect charisma did not help because she has literally negative chemistry with the lead. She shines far too bright for this crap and instead of improving it, it just makes the awkward discord even more apparent. They should have kept the original woman; from the preview clip we got to see earlier she fit into the dynamic better. I actually bought her as a snippy ex, whereas Joanna seems about 10 years younger and is just a bubble of cheer even when she's trying to look mad.

Even the non-simian animals, which were the only reason I was going to maybe watch this in the first place because I have been asking for this setting for the better part of a decade, were barely there and could not supercede how bad everything else was. I officially wash my hands of this dreck, and since it clashes with Survivor and possibly The Middle, I will never be tempted to see it. Basically: good work, NBC. Way to set the progress of shows set in vet offices way, way back.

Also, for about a week now I've been doggedly chewing through what remains of Law & Order: UK whenever I get hit with that rare bug of just wanting to zone out with new television. I have now finished all the episodes that exist, still don't know if they ever plan to make anymore, but here's where I am at:

I assumed I'd bounce after 6x01, or at least 6x02, but eventually I decided I wanted to see it through. Reason? Sam Casey and his stupid unassuming face have grown on me.

Gradually. So slowly I didn't even notice. Not Matt and will never be anything close to Matt, but he has been kind enough to keep his head down and (mostly) not draw excess attention to himself, which has earned my favor. I'm like a curious horse, be removed enough and eventually I'll come over to you. Certainly better than Jake, although to be fair, Mr. Rapscallion has also remained significantly tamer than expected and has yet to really dig under my skin in the obnoxious manner of James Steel. The cases were fine but not spectacular, and all vanished from my head as soon as I was done watching. I looked all over the computer and literally found only a couple bits of commentary across five episodes --

6x02: On second thought, Sam actually came very close to getting himself thrown out of my heart when he threw the dog outside in this one without tying it up or anything. That dog could have run into the street and gotten killed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

??: Something something about Thorne and his mother, not on my issues list today.

in all episodes: Ronnie is the flawless star of this show, that goes almost without saying.

6x06: Oh, Sam has a son. I see. I'm going to need to chew this over for a while whilst I decide how much I hate this. [edit: after episode 7, I'm going to cling to that cute ending image forever and hate it not even a little bit]

BUT. Then episode 7 appeared, and my Detective Casey feelings came out in full force. And, okay, this is the sort of delighfulness you can only get from Sam, and would never have done with Angel Matt (who was also unspokenly spoken for by Alesha mmkay). But. It works so well. It took me about five separate viewings to finish the first half of the episode, because I had to keep pausing to quietly let off fits of squee. The near-victim's big obvious hero-worship heart eyes were magnificent, in a way that was admittedly so obvious as to be cringeworthy, but only because this show frowns so strongly on personal lives and emotions and things. I was practically peeking through my fingers, dreading the point of downward spiral -- but oh, the things we got to play with!

Why here, have a nice clingy hand grab for support, which Detective Casey will casually just stand there and allow (she's fragile, guys. come at me, bro), steadfastly ignoring the judgmental goggle eyes of all the professionals around him, including the defense lawyer whom surely he can see getting practically giddy at the ways she is going to use this to rip any potential case apart.

Look over there, it's Sam being too softhearted to send her to a hotel overnight (she's fragile, guys) and letting her stay there instead. And call him Sam. (come at me, bro) And on night 2, why, let me just drive you home. You definitely won't invite me in to "make sure it's safe." Oh, gosh, you did! Oh, all right then. That is my job description and all, civilian safety. Very important I stay on top of that.

Ooh, yes, let's bust out the wine and have a Big Conversation about life and near-death and feelings. That always gets the ball rolling.  "He really scared you, didn't he?" LET ME JUST HOLD YOUR HANDS ALL PROTECTIVELY. MAYBE STROKE YOUR FINGERS A LITTLE.

Dramatic music is swellling. He briefly tries to bust himself out of my our her reverie, but nothing doing. Touchdown of bad/awesome decisions, COMPLETE! Woooooo!

OK, while they go make out, now we can acknowledge those "so clearly she's either dying next or already the killer" warnings that have been going off over her head this whole time. That...went downhill rather quickly, boo (although I did enjoy Ronnie's casual judgment throughout, as well as Natalie chewing his head off). Poor Sam.

And I see your ending there, show, meant to give us some fuzzy sense of "this could be the end of everything, and hell if we know, but if it is, didn't we give you a nice, calm closing note with a sense that this people will be ready to come back and do their jobs all over again tomorrow?" Which is a nice way to bow out, I suppose. If it's not officially canceled, I might come back for a hypothetical next series, I might forget about it forever, or I might show up 6-12 months after the fact again. Who knows! But for now, it's back in suspended-animation retirement and so are my feelings about it.

The summer session of Pretty Little Liars is ending next week and I haven't talked about it since June. Oops! Let's see what we missed.

I don't know what happened - you saw me, I planned to keep watching season 3! I was all on board with it! - but somehow this show just dropped off the face of the earth for me this summer. After the last time I posted, I suddenly couldn't be arsed to even round up the YouTube ship clips anymore; gifs were enough. Eventually I stopped even skimming the recaplets.

Per Tumblr tag updates, Spoby was going through their regular dry season, so nothing lost there, and Ezria was doing stuff but I guess I'm finally over the age difference thing for the time being, or something, because blah blah blah. (and it's not because they're happy! I want to make that very clear. It's because his face is just generally boring and I was never invested. No comment on whether I was mostly interested in the kinky wrongbad aspect of their relationship.)  I think some cuddlesome things showed up in their tag, but damned if I can remember them now.

The point is, I heard rumblings of it a few days ago that I refused to acknowledge, and then today this Tumblr post dropped on my head:


title: casually catching up on pretty little liars, then finding out that ezra has a kid.

my anger knows no bounds. like seriously. what the actual fuck? skadfjas;dfas. ugh. i refuse, and i demand a paternity test.

OH MY GOD, SHOW. SHOW, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. There is nothing I hate more in this world than surprise kids popping out of the woodwork. I may have mentioned this a time or sixteen. It's half of why I cut ties forever with Cougar Town. I'm still kind of pissed at Shondaland. This has never in the history of television turned out to be a good thing unless it happens to a single dude who is sad and lonely and could really use an insta-family (House, EXCEPT NOT). Television creators generally prefer to use it to mess with established relationships, though, which is a real jerk move and one I will not accept here, so unless something goes awry quickly (i.e. ideally a Paternity Test Of Betrayal Revelations), good luck getting me to wander back to Ezria Way, because we are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.

Aaaaaanyway, I'm going to make a concentrated effort to watch the finale, because (1) Toby and (2) I spy a cuddly-cute Aria/Ezra moment and I would to take at least one of those home before we break up forever; I'm sorry, I'm weak and your desserts are delicious.

[EDIT: apparently that cuddly-cute moment was from 3x11, so I hit the clips (so weak!) and we can use this space to:
1) flail about her crawling over to wake him up and wish him a happy birthday. bedhead is stupidly adorable.

2) oh hey there Ezra's Attractive Younger Brother, what up? Yeah, I can definitely see swapping you out for the elder. Get it, AU shippers. In the meantime, he is already my favorite guy on the show after Wren just for being so very nice and cool with his brother's awkward relationship and not at all weird about it or trying to hit on Aria even though he is clearly way better suited for her. I respect that. I also have a long history of adoring future brother/sister-in-law dynamics, so.

3) "How do you guys feel about Supertramp?" / "Who?" / "...that's what I thought." --> Insert obligatory "oh crap I'm supposed to be in Ezra's age demographic and these youngins' are BABIES WHO KNOW NOTHING OF FORMATIVE MUSIC GROUPS and now I feel pervy again" moment.

4) I kind of love how Aria is in her own show. It makes the Tumblr babies rageful, but I love that they have their own little soap opera/rom-com hybrid spinoff while everyone else deals with A except for her token guest-star appearances in that plot.

5) Oh damn, Maggie is Larisa Oleynik and a total sweetherat. Well now I just can't dislike her at all, boo. Maybe I will even have to ship her and Ezra with my default family-shipping ways.]

Still, will try to see the finale, just for old times' sake. It'll be like the fandom version of dropping in on Christmas and birthdays - finales and premieres.

Tags: bad shows, comedies, law & order: uk, pretty little liars, tv commentary

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