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Glee, 4x02, "Britney 2.0"

a/n: Only 1100 words this time! IMPROVEMENT.

I largely wrote off the music without even listening to it. Between crap singers and/or crap performances, everything failed. I mean, thumbs up for Blaine singing "If I was your boyfriend" at pretty girls and all, but I am bitter that the awesome Rare Pairs vocal trio of Sam/Tina/Joe sang about a threesome, I am bitter whenever Jake and his mind-bogglingly grating frog voice sing (it is the level at which ontd_glee hates Darren's voice), I wouldn't even look at any performances that promised to be "sexy," and I attempted to give Marley's solo a shot, but was bored because it's a sucky song. [edit: that one, that one will later be redeemed as Awesome]

I am patient and will give her infinite chances, though, because I waited 3 solid months to hear something decent pass from Blaine's lips. No reason to accept inferiority in the meantime.

Location: Lima
How did I not know Puck showed up this?? In related news, after that speech he is finally totally and completely off my list of Most Hated Characters. Glee redemption at its (second) finest.

My vendetta against Wade Thing took an unexpected corkscrew when he/she was the only person trying to save Marley from her own idiocy. My respect for him/her has grudgingly risen by as many points as Marley lost this week (her IQ apparently dropped 10 points every time she spoke; eventually I cut her off). As a reward, I shall be upgrading her name to New Mercedes, per Brittany's suggestion. Amber Riley obviously just had to be recast due to salary negotiation breakdowns.

Mr. Schue had some pretty decent teachery moments. Between setting up the Puckerman heart to heart, his unfailing ability to be two steps away whenever a kid with musical talent gets in a fight so he can haul away the more offending party, and his willingness to spend extra time tutoring Brittany, all the hearts.

Brittany was surprisingly sweet and wonderful, in addition to continuing the case that she has legitimate mental afflictions and isn't just hilariously dumb, and that she actually has a keen perception in the world that just takes someone really motivated to see. And the way that she and Sam connected - I am not looking to ship that, although I would without much fuss if ordered, but I'd also really like it to be a sibling-like thing.

The inhuman bat noises I made in the auditorium -- I was beyond happy just to see him being sweet, but then suddenly there was FULL. ON. CUDDLING. (or, well, head on shoulder cuddling. But in Glee terms that is victory of the highest degree, especially when it is platonic yet involves gorgeous people) I am so ready to see Sam being the genuinely sweet guy who tries to help everyone, as opposed to the lovesick stripper/stalker he was last year. He is basically riding a rocket ship to the top of the fave-character charts. Blaine should probably watch himself.

Then I may have curled in on myself and wailed quietly at how sad she looked lying in bed at the end, hoping Santana would show up online. I am officially Brittany now. Do you want to know how many times I opened AIM hoping my best friend would be online when she said she would? Answer, A LOT. (do you know how often I was disappointed? MOST TIMES.)

Location: New York
I thought I was going to hate the unrealism of them living in a giant loft, but I'm pretty okay with it. Everything is worth it to have them living together! Loved their adorable Domino's picnic and Rachel's sad/faintly hopeful inquiries about Finn. That said, I'm going to need Kurt to just...stop saying any and all things related to sexiness. Right now.

Wow, that didn't take long. "That's why I pick on my students. I want them to be ready." Aw! ♥ I like that it's not going to be all roses and sunshine from now on, and (hopefully) nothing will honestly change at all, but that's what Rachel needed to hear and I'm really glad she was willing to say it. Kurt's being kind of useless at the moment. And also way too excited to hook her up with hot guys. Whose side are you on?

Jesus CHRIST Brody is such a creeper! He knows she has a boyfriend, but tries to kiss her anyway because apparently it is a surprise to him that a hot girl could see his hot bod and still have feelings for some other dude afterward? I'm so glad he promised to respect her boundaries after that. I'm also super relieved that his definition of boundary-respecting means he won't act on his urges to kiss her which he'll be thinking about constantly whenever they're together, LOL, DON'T YOU FEEL TOTALLY COMFORTABLE AND SAFE WITH HIM NOW? So many warning bells went off in my head right there that I almost picked up my own phone to text Kurt and ask him to come back because I did not want to be alone in an empty apartment with this guy one second longer.

If I were Rachel, I'd be suspicious of some upperclassman sniffing around me as a freshman (especially a loner freshman lacking in friends & self confidence), anyway. Is she so sheltered that she has not heard all the stories of guys trying to score with as many fresh meat 18-year-olds as possible, or...? Am I the only one who heard Cassie going "And you just love helping people, don't you? Especially the ingenues." ? We're probably supposed to think that's just the Wicked Witch of the Dance Room trying to throw her off, but that sounded like a warning bell to me.

But I'm also pretty sure that Brody should be sexing up Cassie July, is the feeling I keep getting. That's just how my brain rolls. (not that the Cassie/Rachel stretching didn't have porn vibes all over it. What I'm saying is she seems dangerous to have around hormonal young people of legal age.)

Now, back to my version of shipping...yeah, I'm not gonna lie, my heart pretty much turned to glass and then cracked down a fault line when she painted over Finn's name. On Finn's side in 3, 2, 1...

Good thing I already wrote myself a 600-word alternate bedtime story in which Rachel recoils from Brody's CREEPER STATEMENTS as Finn's absence suddenly makes itself known in the sharpest way, so when Kurt comes back she's alone and crying her eyes out and he's trying to figure out what the hell happened in the 15 minutes he was gone. Suspicions should rise, also, even though they're unfounded. Wish I were brave enough to post; it's almost a complete story, albeit probably quite self-indulgent.

In conclusion: Sam/Brittany, Kurt/Rachel, and Cassandra July are the only important takeaways here.

------------
Dear Romney: I'm sorry, did you actually say that cutting funding to PBS was a priority? Like, by name, you called it out as one of the first things to cut? Because. No. There are a lot of things that I find useless which you are free to reduce spending on, but PBS actually very much deserves some of the tax money pie because it is awesome and directly benefits me.

In conclusion, both candidates are jackholes and I'm still desperately seeking an independent to earn my vote, otherwise I'm writing in Chuck Norris. [edit: I LIKE THIS SITE.]

P.S. You know what's really delicious? Crystal Light "Wild Strawberry" energy drink mix. Especially when you get it for a dollar (quality overstock at the dollar store strikes again!).

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
eleigh
Oct. 4th, 2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
I'm glad the wild strawberry is good because I bought a box of the pomegranate and it was gross so I have an almost full box.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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