And now, ALL OF THE TELEVISION. Well, most of the television.
How I Met Your Mother, 8x07, "The Stamp Tramp":
ALERT, SOUND THE PRESSES, I just found the first good episode of the season! It was the smallest percentage of vulgar/gross and the highest percentage of laugh-out-loud funny I can remember seeing in months. It was syndication-level quality. For starters, I love Brad (how is it possible for that dude to be nothing typical I like in a guy, yet still so hunky? Like, I actually have to use the word 'hunky,' for starters). Homeless Brad, with his stream of insults and missing sense of self-awareness, was by far the best all on its own, but the reveal that it was all an act to scope Marshall's case? High ten!
Ted's desperation to prove he IS TOO sometimes the first to recommend things, even if it means watching 97 hours of videotape diaries from Pretentious College Ted? Golden! The way he endorsed Lily way back when? Awwww! I can't even be mad about how he took it back 5 seconds later. It earned him a fantastic glare from 2012 Lily.
And last but far from least, the Barney/Manager Robin search to find his new strip club was exactly the kind of broad, stupid, sexist-but-mostly-not-vulgar comedy that I like from my Barney, so, A+ work! "Exclusive patron of Golden Oldies k, sign here plz, NO THAT IS NOT A ROLEX ON MY WRIST SHUT UP AND SIGN."
Basically, this episode hit it out of the park on every level and I can't wait to see it again.
p.s. ahhhh! This episode was so funny I legitimately forgot about how it ended with drunken Barney/Robin kissing. Which I also did not hate! Put all of the thumbs you can find in the up position for me, please.
2 Broke Girls, which I am renaming The One With The Amish Hipster Wannabes: Here are some of the things it had going for it -- Amish boys (the sassy one ordinarily seen playing D.B.'s son on CSI), CHESTNUT, the former building a barn for the latter, an adorable fluffy cat that apparently hates both Max and Chestnut, Candy Andy, and some honestly entertaining sight gags of Max and Sophie salivating over the aforementioned Amish boys. We just need to purge our brains of Non-Sassy Amish Boy's reactions and Caroline's dirty dancing, and this one becomes all better.
(fyi, I remain super unclear as to how people expect sex on the second date with a person you don't even know at all. Just...no.)
Here's the quote I took away from The Middle's Thanksgiving episode last week, which I basically want to print in giant letters, frame, and shove in the face of anyone whose ships are not predominately canon-soulmatey arcs, and/or in the faces of showrunners who inexplicably destroy ships that are on that track, and/or every commenter ever on a TV site who insists that happy couples make for boring television:
"THE BEST LOVE STORIES ARE THE ONES THAT LAST FOREVER."
The end, full stop.
- I feel like I should see this extra-dated "Love Story" movie now
- As much as I loathe Brick, he and I tend to have kindred opinions when it comes to books. I have so had that moment of walking through the library and having books magically pop out in front of me, practically glowing, as if waiting just for me! And then I want to gush to everyone about my beautiful find(s) and their response is pretty much, "Uh-huh, whatever, so back to my life..."
- AXL/HOT TUTOR: THE FRUITION EDITION. Redoubling efforts to find self a YA novel for them to play out.
- I love Sue's makeshift bear-head-on-a-chicken-body mascot costume. Eternal optimist! I also begrudgingly laughed at Brad's attempt to dance-fight it out, because in fairness, that is how Glee solves its problems with rival schools.
My thoughts on NCIS's 2-parter "Shock" basically boil down to: aw, lovely insight on Tony's mom (so much better than Tony's dad) in part 1, and sweet references to Ziva's sister in part 2. (supposed Gibbs feature what?)
I fell asleep during Go On, which tells you how exciting THAT is. Sure, I was in bed and had just walked for 2 hours, but... Lauren Graham was fantastic, though. Can the show just be all her and Matthew Perry, maybe with John Cho hanging around on the fringes as necessary? BECAUSE I SUPPORTED THIS COUPLING. Also, question -- what did the group do before they had Ryan's problems to fix every week? Because it feels like he just hijacked the whole circle and no other individual is getting nearly as much out of it as he is.
Survivor: My favorite part this week, even beyond watching Abi melt down in to a rage volcano of glittering tears (all frustration, and thus unsympathetic), was Macolm talking about how he shut down any strategy talk on the Reward beach because "everyone I want to go to the end with is back at camp" (i.e. not Peter, Abi, or Carter). I am in love with Malcolm's Final Four version, 75% of which I love so much that I am willing to sacrifice Penner and substitute the vastly inferior Returner in it.
The reward challenge - which I only saw half of because I SWEAR the dog lies in wait until Jeff starts explaining challenges before she's gulping and demanding to go out for grass - was great fun. [future reference: running to three circles, be the first to have 3 squares flipped over simultaneously]
The immunity challenge looked great too, an excellent combination of dexterity, balance and endurance that really leveled the playing field. Always fun when Denise kicks butt, even if she ultimately came in 3rd.
Very much enjoyed the mini-montage of Peter & Abi being casually shot down every time they tried to scramble, except for Skupin, who fortunately in the end did not interrupt the Heroic Narrative Arc we've got going on. Bye, Gorilla Pete!
Watched Criminal Minds tonight because inertia becomes a powerful force (also it is mother's fault. this is EXACTLY how she got me into CSI, staying there after Survivor ended) and lately I'm watching this instead of SVU.
Also because every time a bus full of teens get hijacked, my eyes get all shiny and Glee-shaped, no matter how many times my brain is like "CHICA. THIS MEANS YOUR CHILDREN WILL DIE." Unfortunately, by that point I'm too busy rapid-fire figuring out who is in the most danger, who will get knocked around but get out, etc.
And as usual, I got way too attached to all the victims (fortunately not the adults), which always ends super poorly for me on crime shows (go figure). Maybe because I have already read a Glee fic with a similar setup but way darker and more disturbing outcome, and I'm still rattled, or maybe because the addition of shock collars makes me go "holy crap, sudden terrifying realism in that one other story I never really took seriously."
Either way, it was at the point where I was feeling queasy and wishing it would hurry up and be over before anyone else died. This show is THE WORST. Its main characters still mean very little to me, other than Garcia being cute and also really liking the new seasoned lady who has come on board (and Rossi, always), but it forces you to connect with pending victims horribly well. It really is the darkest and most twisted show available on broadcast TV.
Anyway, episode-wise, I had to reshuffle the deck real fast in order to make sure that the first two "players" weren't anybody I cared about, because EEK. I didn't quite get the logic of threatening the girl's little brother to turn her into a murderer - I feel like I'd take the chance he might find my family in the future, if the police didn't find us first, over the 100% certainty of killing someone right now, unless I was shocked into debilitating pain at least twice - so I found it hard to care about her, but the guy who was sweet on her was cute. It seemed safe to love him.
Still going to bed with nightmares over the whole forced-murdering business.
Wellllll, hello there, Miles' Heart! I say that because you seem to be in plain sight all over his sleeve.
Nobody's hallucinations are at all interesting this week except for Charlie's, which were wonderful and heartbreaking because they were more like borderline-afterlife visions and a large part of me wanted to her to stay there, where it was warm and safe and the whole series to date was just a vivid dream. I told you we would all miss her dad more as the series went on.
But it's worth coming back to the land of the living, where Miles is busy alternately begging and raging and like two steps from manly weeping all over your inert form because I AM STILL A SUCKER FOR ALL OF THE CLICHE WOMAN-CHILD ENDANGERMENT THAT EXISTS. In fairness, any day that Charlie wakes up means an 80% chance of being hurt or narrowly escaping death, and at least 50% of the time he is in charge of rescuing her damsel in distress butt. (here are 10 times Miles at least attempts to comes to her rescue, not counting this week) This is only not par for the course because she stays unconscious for more than 5 seconds.
Tumblr is a gross place full of incest-shipping, which makes it hard to track either of their tags, so I want to make it very clear I am not with that faction. I will just never not be blown away by his unexpected capacity to care. (Hey there gifset.) I like how we have reached a point where she'd follow him anywhere with her great big trusting doe eyes, and probably much to his former self's chagrin, he is also the great big guard dog who will prioritize her safety above all else and probably wouldn't cope very well without her.
Also, this may have happened earlier after a mine went off behind them and they went flying. I may have yelled "BINGO!" when the reaction followed every detail of my highest expectations:
In other news, Rachel is a bomb-building, friend-stabbing-out-of-necessity badass and if there is one character I love on her own merit, it is her.