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Triple shot of stuff

House: Top Secret
Uh...hm. My interest in House comes and goes in cycles, and right now - this week at least - it seems to be down. Or maybe that was just because my Word of the Night was "GROSS." Things on the gross list:

-The unusual number of conversations that took place at the urinals; quite possibly the worst setting ever included in a TV show.
-Discussion of a catheter, which is so many levels of squick that I think being shot in the head might be preferable to having one inserted.
-The broken catheter bag, which dream sequence or not, was a disgusting sequence that went on forever. It went on in a Family-Guy style manner. "Let's see, we need to kill some time...I know, let's just have them watch this liquid spew out over the floor for 20 seconds."
-The soaked sheets, NOT part of a dream sequence, just as bad.

Hm, I see that so far all of these things involve House's problem of the week, but it really did permeat the episode to an insane degree. Honestly, I feel there could have been a less obnoxious way to tell us he was having complications from overconsumption of Vicodin. I'm so mad about it I barely even remember the patient of the week. Oh, but he did enable a lovely ending, which is exactly the kind of interaction I like to see between House and Cuddy - punchy but harmless little quips from him while she completely has the upper hand. Smart and strong, Cuddy, smart and strong. I'd go into more detail about this scene, but you see my tape cuts off before it gets to this part, owing to the fact that my timer record had flipped over to channel 11 at 9:00 like the good little recorder it is. Fucking HELL, American Idol, can you tell me why you felt the need to add seven extra minutes to your show instead of just, I don't know, cutting out some of the filler?

Other than the amusing end scene, my favorite part of the episode was Wilson's incredulous "You have them researching your DREAM?!" and promptly sweeping the ducklings out of the room with him. These ducklings are going into protective custody, see? You can apply to have them returned to your care when you can provide proof of responsible ownership management. Hehe.

The other magnitude of grossness was Chase and Cameron. Really, I didn't need to see that again, and they should quit subjecting us to it. I highly doubt it's going anywhere significant, and all it's doing is wasting screen time. Gross, gross, gross. Plus, what was up with her putting her shirt over the camera instead of actually turning it off? Yes, THAT will trick people. "Well, in that empty room with a bed, there was a female doctor in there with a male doctor, and she peeled her shirt off, but after that the camera was blocked so really there's no way to say that anything unseemly happened."

I liked Foreman's suspicious interview about where they were, but am disappointed that he didn't realize that when the signs point to something fishy, and the person flatly admits to sex in an attempt to make it sound outlandish and ridiculous, their admission is often true. I'm also disappointed that Chase continues to be emotionally invested in this quasi-relationship, not only because Cameron's never going to reciprocate in kind, but because now that he's brought it up, I think I AM convinced that she's hoping House will find out about it and be jealous. Even if it's only a subconscious desire, I bet it's there. Blech. (and by the way, I definitely don't believe that y-ou "couldn't help" making a ridiculous amount of noise. Try harder. Or perhaps you could experiment with a pillow over the face. That one has the added bonus of a chance at accidental smothering!)

I'm getting tired of hearing her say it's just uncomplicated sex." There's no such thing. At least, not when you're sleeping with someone you work with and talk to on a regular basis. That's multiple types of complication right there.

One last note, I'm sick of Wilson diagnosing cancer and then always having it turn out to be something else. It makes him look ridiculously incompetent, and makes me mad.

SVU: Sin
I don't really have a central theme for this review, and I'm making no attempt at transitions, so let's just call this a series of bullet-point reactions.

-"Well, that's why you'll all be playing doctor at St. Mark's. Elliot, Olivia, you take the first shift." Because I am immature, that line caused me to break into a fit of giggles. On the bright side, they are both very well suited to the wearing of scrubs.

-I am displeased that our first word of Kathy in about a month is in the context of Elliot once again letting his job take priority over family. Bad! Doom-predicting! Booooo.

-I'm also little disapointed at Elliot coercing a confession/admission of responsibility out of the man by dragging him to the church. Bad Stabler! Bad form, preying on emotional weakness.  Outside the hallowed interrogation room, anyway.

-I am really, really glad that the minister didn't end up gay after all, because I am SO sick of that idea that the louder you protest homosexuality, the more it means you're really just in the closet. Isn't there a chance that some people decry it just because...they think it's gross, and/or just morally corrupt? I'm pretty sure I go off on furious anti-animal-cruelty rants at least a couple of times a month; does that mean I secretly wish I could get away with torturing kittens? Ignore my predilection for blasting away bison and geese with virtual bullets on Oregon Trail.

-I would also like to make it known that as soon as they matched "six alleles in common" on the DNA profile, I sat up and declared "gay son." At this point, I didn't even remember if he had a son - I just knew that's who it was going to belong to. In fact, anyone who's seen more than one episode of CSI should have come to that conclusion.

-I don't understand how you could meet another gay kid at one of those Satan's House events at all. I mean, how do you deduce that someone's gay and/or looking for a hookup when you're both laughing at the idea of gay people getting their comeuppance in hell?

-The final scene with the whole family gathered around the minister's hospital bed...was a lot funnier when it faded to black on the credits, and my dad solemnly pronounced, "Ga(y)men." Took a second for that to register. And then I giggled hysterically some more, because I'm still immature like that.

Bones: The Priest in the Churchyard
Good Lord, tackling religion two shows in a row. I hate when I'm torn between heckling and sticking up for God. Mostly I like to heckle, because I can't remember a time when I ever honestly believed that there was some invisible being up in the sky, and for me God exists on much the same plane as ghosts and fairies; take that as you will.

But I also hate Brennan's vicious athiesm, like it's a personal AFFRONT to her that people believe in anything she deems irrational. I tried to play devil's advocate and explain her rationale to Mom, which is that Brennan probably has a low tolerance for stupidity, and that anything you can't prove = illogical, and believing despite a lack of logic = stupidity. But it was a hard sell.

I was raised Catholic and I guess I'd still consider myself as such, despite the fact that I see little to no use for weekly mass, prayer, or most of the sacraments. That's the religion I know and identify with, so I won't bother changing. (I think the more appropriate definition might be 'lapsed Catholic'). Besides, if God didn't exist, who would I yell at and blame for everything that isn't perfect?

Now that I've finished with my personal statement of the day, I would like to say I approve of this storyline. I liked the way they played up Booth v. Bones; he always gets delightfully touchy when she starts insulting religion, and either way I found myself mostly on his side. I start to become uncomfortable when Bones decides that since she sees no use for social niceties, the rules of etiquette don't apply to her and she can say whatever she wants. No matter is this includes actively mocking religion, even essentially insulting a priest to his face (something she's apparently taught Zach as well, as he introduced himself with "I'm Zach Addy. Are you one of those priests who hits schoolchildren with rulers?" The HELL, boy? *hits him with a ruler*)

Bones: Can't you just be satisfied that if I'm wrong about God I'll burn in hell?
Booth: It's tempting.

Hee! Although, by the same logic, can't Bones just accept that some people get enjoyment and comfort out of believing in God, and leave them in peace?

I loved all the "zip it!" moments as he tried unsuccessfully to keep her from being overly offensive. Also, the old priest is my new favorite character of the week. He was a perfect archetype of the old-school priest, a rarity these days, who suddenly made me appreciate all the older monks who teach at my school. Enough of these hip young youth-ministers-turned-ordained-priest trying to breathe life into Catholocism by appealing to the younger crowd. Despite the old guy's somewhat gruff and disgruntled front, I think he would be very comforting to see at the altar on a weekly basis. He seems very intelligent, well-spoken, and clearly dedicated to the parish.

I'm glad that none of the priests ended up being involved, nor did any of them turn out to be evil and molesting. THAT is a nice change of pace. I love it when shows decide not to villify the Catholic Church.

Okay, let's see...I love Magical Gordon Wyatt, deducing and fixing everyone's problems within five minutes of meeting them. I cannot possibly explain all the ways he amused me tonight, though I like his seemingly random wise and mystical nuggets of wisdom, which Booth would nod and applaud, and then go, "What?" And I loved when he brought Booth into the lab and basically ordered him to talk out his aggression - the wild look in Booth's eyes as he got really into his fantasies about ripping it apart with his bare hands and/or burning the place down was hilarious.

As an aside, now that I know Hugh Laurie is Wooster and Stephen Fry is Jeeves, I have a sudden desire to see all those "Jeeves and Wooster" DVDs my dad was always checking out of the library. I could never understand what he liked about them, but now it seems as though they would be spectacularly entertaining.

Angela is a B/B shipper, which I find highly amusing. Her subtle quest to nudge them together is almost as entertaining to watch as her own relationship. And I really loved the scene with her and Booth in church, because other than Cam, she's the closest to normal of anyone in that lab. He relates well normal, which makes their chemistry quite nice. Of course, she's still a semi-Squint, hence the following quote:

Angela: Did you sleep with her?
Booth: Do you see where we are? You don't talk like that in church! *mutters rhetorically* What does that lab do to you people?

I'm sure I missed something I wanted to talk about regarding Booth/Bones, but I'm getting distracted by the fact that I would like to be finished with this review, so I'm moving on to the last item of the review, Hodgins/Angela. Oh Lord, I don't even know where to start. They had their highs tonight, but they also had their lows.

Highs:
-Hodgins: And you wonder why I love you. (turns to Cam) Is she not fantastic?
Cam: You aren't seriously asking me to be a part of this.
LOL. I love Cam's expression. I love this entire scene...if I were Angela I think I might have smacked him at this point going "NOT AT WORK," but it doesn't appear to bother her in the slightest, so as long as the couple is happy (but not TOO happy, as you'll see later), I'm happy. He's being properly adoring and attentive, and because it's fairly innocent, even Cam seems to be more vaguely amused than anything. See, if EVERYBODY could learn to keep it like this, viewers would be less apt to cry foul on inter-office relationships. (then again, that's what I thought about GSR, which is ultra-low-key, and somehow THAT still gets peoples' knickers in a twist, so what do I know)

-He asked her to move in with him! I liked that he started out playful and cajoling, as usual, but when she resisted ("I need my place, Jack"), he switched to a much more sobering tone. "And I need you." Squee! See, see, THAT'S what they're all about. I think Angela was only mistaken last week in her assumption of their sex-and-laughter relationship. Because while I'm sure that's a decent part of it, and maybe all SHE sees, there really is a lot more beneath the surface keeping them together.

-Cam walking in on their (still cute) kiss, clearing her throat. "Do I need to throw cold water on you?" HEEHEEHEE! Awesome. Where were you when Bones was making out with Sully? Still, fantastic. I think I very much enjoy her approach to workplace relationships between her underlings, which is very casual and laid-back rather than discouraging. You know, provided they keep their romantic interaction rated PG, or as she puts it, "off the internet." Also, funny quote time, regarding the virus they've been exposed to.

Cam: Symptoms include nausea, weakness, fever--
Hodges HODGINS[!]: I feel fine.
Angela: Yeah, me too.
Cam: --decreased libido...
Hodgins: I'm listening.

LOW:
-"Lunch" at "the Egyptian place." You don't even know how hard I was crossing my fingers, hoping for that to be a literal description. And no, what do I get? Nasty dirty sex in a place I am POSITIVE they shouldn't be in at all, much less...okay, how old and/or prudish will I sound if I use the word "defiling"? Because that's the word I want to use.

-This is the kind of scene that really, I think would be better off left to our imaginations. I didn't need to actually see it. Lastly, Jack's rationale for the move-in was "We can't keep our hands off each other...I think about you all the time." Hm. Yes, well, despite what I like to believe about you being in love, I'm not sure "the height of lust" is the best time to commit to living together. Seems like you might want to have a bit more than bedroom antics in common.

But even in the (admittedly much shorter) bad section, there was room for a cute quote.
Angela: I have a lease.
Hodgins: I have an estate. I can buy out your lease.

Ultimate Conclusion...darn entertaining episode, two thumbs up!

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