And yet I'm still somehow surprised to find it's 5 AM and I've been crying on and off for 4 hours straight.
The last 2 hours were courtesy of The Sidhe, which somehow managed to get past my hatred of both fantasy and significantly-AU fanfic for real-world characters and suck me in to the end. I felt like I'd lived through 400 years by the end of it, as it was emotionally exhausting, but well worth it. (I feel like I should clarify how I nimbly skipped past like 8 million explicit scenes, though. It's such second nature to flick my eyeballs past the offensive parts that I forget to be careful what I rec.)
Boom, distraction time!
How I Met Your Mother, 8x10, "The Over-correction"
Review to follow just as soon as I come out from rocking and sobbing in the nearest small enclosed space...
The above plot was gross, and I'm sick of Robin The Crazy Factory (it's at the point where she sounds like bad fanfic writers are in charge of all her lines) but I unabashedly loved everything about everyone hiding in Barney's apartment, including Ted pitching fits about his stolen items, the heavenly chorus every time Robin revealed another hidden book, a few more glimpses of The Playbook's old-timey theme tune, and everything Barney/Patrice, TRUE LOVE'S OTP. (you can't see it but I'm making my "suck it!" face at Robin)
If only I really believed that the sole copy of said book had burned to ashes. Robin may be crazy, but that doesn't mean something isn't off. I'm just hoping it's off by accident.
2 Broke Girls
Oh, please, please try to make more jokes out of "suck it." I can't get enough of this hilarity! Wordplay!!!
...or, you know, don't. -.-
This show creates such lovely stories as backdrops, and then it ruins them by peppering them full of completely unnecessary sex jokes. I will complain about this every week if necessary, because it's like watching a chef make a gorgeous gourmet meal and then sprinkle rat poison all over it.
Which means that every week, I will push through the gross to talk about the good stuff. It was fantastic seeing Johnny back (whom I only JUST learned is played by Vince from What I Like About You...stupid disguising glasses), and way sadder to have it end like this. But it was great while it lasted! (especially with candy raining down upon them)
I'm sorry, but that is an A/A pairing right there. Caroline/Andy? Passable B/B, albeit with room to grow on me. It was so delightful to see all four of them at breakfast. Kind of weird, this sudden intrusion of penis (MY BRAIN IS INFECTED, LET ME ), but welcome all the same. Especially since we all know Max and Caroline are going to carry on Meredith/Cristina levels of co-dependency well into their 30s.
I also loved getting to see them finally open their store (even if business was predictably lackluster -- their overeager nervousness totally reminded me of manning our last garage sale). Caroline dressed as a giant cupcake and running away from her successful classmate took the...wait for it...cupcake. I liked everything about Sofie's depression except for Oleg's gross part in it. Even the accidental flashing; Max's face was too great for words. My only [other] problem with the show is whenever freshly baked cupcakes are actually displayed, as they give me the worst cravings. Like, cupcakes featuring bacon should not sound good, but I found a recipe and I want them. So very much.
Grace is here, Danny's getting shot, Steve's getting marched off at gunpoint into the jungle...yep, this sounds like the kind of stuff that makes me show up come hell or high water. The not-quite-Girl-Scouts were adorable and I would have been happy just with the camping trip featuring the two best chaperones ever, but then all the fun stuff started.
Yyou know, like just in case getting shot isn't enough, since it's only a flesh wound even if Grace did witness it, we'll demonstrate how to remove a bullet in the field. And just in case getting marched off at gunpoint isn't enough, let's grab a spare terrified little girl as a bonus hostage, so Steve can have more important priorities than just rescuing himself. (I CAN'T EVEN with how much I loved this whole part. Scene replays for days!) Meanwhile, we'll have the delightfully snarky Aloha Girls leader come along to make sure Danny doesn't get himself killed by falling over a cliff or something - favorite new banter partner?? (plus cute mentions of how Grace sees her dad as Superman) And at some point we'll whack Steve around some more, because there just wasn't enough bleeding on this adventure. And last but not least, Grace will get a safe, comfortable father/daughter camping trip indoors, complete with delivery pizza. Perfect episode is perfect!
In other news, Kono is apparently dating a sketchy dude whom I could have sworn was last seen connected to Wo Fat somehow, and now his even sketchier brother is apparently up to nefarious (frame-up?) deeds. Even Sketchier Brother is kind of the most interesting person in this group, though, so I'm not sure what that says about which lady should have died in the premiere. Ooh, sharp left turn to the burn ward! (sorry. this episode forced me to really process Chin's wife dying for the first time, and I am still so very angry on principle)
P.S. Isn't there a new woman on the show, or something? I seem super talented at missing her.
And then I wandered over to TV Line, where an opening line on Gossip Girl piqued my interest:
"The Grim Reaper struck on Monday night’s penultimate episode of The CW’s Gossip Girl..."
Me: Ooh, someone died?? *eager click*
Answer: Yes, Bart Bass. Well, that's boring, but all right.
But the more I read, even with the limited summary they provide, the more the crackrabbits multiplied and spiraled out of control until it felt like I was catching up on Secret Life of the American Teenager. I...don't even understand what kind of mutant show is taking place right now. My desire to see it is impressively non-existent, especially since it looks like The Real Charlotte Rhodes actually did check out for good last spring. The only thing I'm a little curious about is whether the final nail of horror actually will be sealed in the Chuck/Blair coffin next week. (and by coffin, I sadly don't mean the one holding their dead relationship, but the one inside of which Blair will be buried alive via binding marriage vows) And I'm definitely just planning to read the recap on that. Eleventh hour bait-n-switch??
And then I saw this --
For once, [Serena] doesn’t even fall prey to the boy as Dan tries to win her back, proclaiming he’s always loved her.
At which point I barely refrained from spitting out my drink all over the screen. TWO HUNDRED PERCENT DONE.
[edit: oh my god, if you're not reading the comments on this post, go read them so we can howl at the ~Super Intense~ Soap Operatica Dramatica nature of the death scene together.]