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I JUDGE YOU IMPISH!

Sometimes I think people can't possibly be as dumb as my D.A.R.E. classes portrayed them, and then I see something like this Ask posted on Tumblr: I take ecstasy every time I go to a rave because its amazing and I feel like it helps me break out of my shy self. Have you ever considered doing drugs or done them?

YEP, TOTAL CASUAL EVERYDAY OCCURRENCE, DRUGS. Also totally something you want to talk about on a public forum! Just like TV. Bam, segue!

The Office, "Dwight Christmas"

That was PERFECT. Funny, angsty, shippy...there was so little I didn't like (pretty much just Darryl getting drunk and belligerent, or the pig rib splattering gross stuff) that it ended up being my favorite Christmas episode of The Office ever. In fact, it's probably my favorite episode of the season so far. I'm on rewatch #3 and well on my way to memorizing every line.

I didn't initially get it, but I let Jim's unbridled enthusiasm for Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas (to such a degree it made me question whether or not he had begun drinking early to calm his nerves), carry me away until I too was overjoyed by every ridiculous thing that happened. And once the party started, never mind Dwight showing up in full costume, I was in heaven.

Belsnickel is the best of the best among Dwight insanity. Loved his ridiculous accent and random assortment of furs, especially when he half-broke character to irritably clarify things. Surreptitiously texting to send away the guy in blackface. Carrying around a switch. It's the little details, really.

Dwight proceeding to vent his feelings of abandonment by switch-whipping Jim as much force as possible is one of those things you have to rewind fifty times (if you're me). Between the resurgence of Angry Jim and Pam's reaction, it's the perfect "when funny turns dark and serious" moment. And who doesn't love a Dwight sulking and canceling the party after that, sharing a mopefest with Pam (I'll get to that), and glomping on Returning Jim like a baby spider monkey?

The best part of this is that, if you were hating Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas, it allows everyone to briefly experience a normally-decorated party for the last act, a nice sendoff. I just wish we could have seen more of Nellie's apparent ability to play guitar.

Among the other things I loved:

I. RANDOM TOBY/FORMER SEXY TOBY MAKEOUTS. I was just happy they were sequestered in their own little storyline, and then...unexpected delight!

II. Pete and Erin bonding over Die Hard, where I loved every second of every tiny thing that Erin's face did, which hasn't happened since Florida, if ever. Flailed quietly over Pete being her sounding board, offering movies when talking/listening is rejected. Erin abruptly breaking into tears is very me, and I'm reasonably certain there will never be anything I love more than him automatically putting an arm around her with that "aw, c'mere" tone. Especially with his prompt retreat at her sulky mutterings but then "You can leave your arm," because Erin is apparently a secret genius who understands how to get comfort without consequence. I like that deliberate scoot closer at the end.

III. Last but not least, as if this were not already the champion of Christmas episodes, we get a gold medal in Jim/Pam features. It started out super depressing and ended up being the best thing this stupid Philadelphia job has offered yet. I was happy enough just with Pam digging in her heels to make sure the entertaining party option won out, and thought the goodbye was perfect, with sadness but genuine encouragement and a quick kiss and hug. BUT NO, WAIT:

Pam: What happened? Did you miss your bus?
Jim: No. I just missed my wife.


HAIL MARY HALLELUJAH. Bonus hug *and* a proper kiss on top of sweeping romantic gestures and a quote already cemented as a series classic? Thank you for reminding me why I am going to desperately sad when there are no more brand new moments like this.

Random Favorite Quotes
Kevin: Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Where does it end with you people?!

Angela: I don't want my name attached to this party.
Pam: What does that even mean? Where would your name appear?

Jim: Yes! He is finally nigh!

Jim: So he's kind of like Santa. Except dirty. And worse.
Dwight Belsnickel: No, much better. No one fears Santa the way they fear Belsnickel.
Jim: Wow. That's my favorite part of Christmas -- the authority.
Pam: And the fear.

Jim: I don't know, is it what you expected?
Pam: I feel like... *looks out into the office* Dwight is holding a candle and reading a poem.
Jim: SO happy right now. *dashes out with glee*

Toby: Here's the thing about moonlight: it's not sunlight.

Kevin: I love this hog mama.
Phylils: Dwight said it's hog "maw."
Kevin: *spits it out like poison* WHAT IS MAW??

Jim: So you made a list, checked it twice, and now you're going to find out who's...?
Dwight Belsnickel: Impish or admirable.
Jim: Damn.

Dwight Belsnickel: I JUDGE YOU IMPISH!
(That is so becoming a new catch phrase in my life. Get me a gif, and it might become the new "not good enough!" *whip*)

BONUS: a video clip to bring you joy.

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