Me: WHAT HOLY HELL WHERE IS THIS OMG GO. *ZOOMS OFF*
And that is the story of why I'm discussing a six-year-old episode like it happened yesterday.
2x14-15, The Big Game/Revelations
- Van Der Beek is literally the only reason I decided to watch both parts instead of just skipping to the good half. It was loltastic, but he played the creepy parts very well; I'll give him credit for that.
- I'm still not clear how JJ got out of the barn alive. Was she really able to fire off three fatal shots by the light of her flashlight? I've never been afraid of dogs, but just watching those scary critters is enough to make me suddenly leery of anything whose teeth are big enough to leave a mark
- I used to think of Gideon as the main face of Criminal Minds, but god, what a drag that guy is. My only regret is that Rossi didn't replace him sooner. Most of the reruns I've seen lately have been of later seasons, and they are infinitely more palatable.
- For once, I figured out the multiple-personalities thing right away. Like, during the first or second scene. *proud of self*
- The flashback scenes with the abusive father were harder to watch than literally anything else in this 2-parter. Eventually I had to look away.
- I'm impressed by how I felt sorry for the proper Tobias personality all the way through, since I am the reigning queen of not promoting sympathy or understanding based on psychological issues.
- Reid's hair appeared to look roughly the same as it does now, so now I'm really confused as to why my longstanding impression of him as a vaguely alien-like creature has disappeared overnight. Or I know and I'm just fighting it.
- I'll just end up sounding like an awful person if I elaborate, especially since I was mostly gathering basic abduction scenario data for practical application across all fandoms at large, but suffice to say that what I came for delivered very well on several fronts, thank you.
- And now I am like nine times more invested in my daydream playground where Maeve lived through last episode, because look at all the similarities. Where do I find the quality fic? I need an immediate hookup to whoever has written alternate-ending post-eps, any kind, but especially the ones that focus on non-immediate aftermath and make significant use of the parallels in their respective experiences. Bonus points if it ends up being multiple chapters and maybe an ongoing-novella-type project.
- DON'T MIND ME, JUST FOUND SOME GIFS AND HAVING A DELAYED EMOTIONAL OUTBURST
- Reid's flashbacks did confirm how much I loathe Jane Lynch in everything. No sympathies for THAT character. It's not the first time I've seen her, but she definitely didn't improve the episode quality. She's not even (currently) useful as a "poor baby, something else awful in your life" vehicle, although if I retreat back into my daydream playground, I could probably find a way to use it as long as she's not actually part of the scene...
- Back to the proper plotline. This is good - I think I remember an episode somewhere in which he was trying to kick an addiction, and I always wondered what it was/how I got started. Now I know.
- ...if I am not careful this show is going to accidentally end up being a weekly thing for the rest of the year. Oh no. How does one resist a show for seven years and then have this happen? I mean, X-Files was in season 8 before I locked on fannishly, but I had always loved that, just not to an obsessive degree. Criminal Minds and I are just casual acquaintances, the kind who maybe hang out chatting at parties where we don't know anyone else before going our separate ways.
- Just the fact that I have finally osmosis-learned everyone's first and last name (not counting temporary/past members) is a pretty big accomplishment - my inability to match names to faces was a lasting problem for years and years.
- This post seems to have gotten away from me, whoops.
The Middle: Life Skills: Strong contender for ALL TIME FAVORITE? Between Dave Foley dusting off his skills as a weird psychologist to make Brick's scenes bearable, the parents' battle with the insurance company (I especially loved her ranting about them not wanting her to drive away angry...cut to, them driving away in the still-windshield-less car. "I'm so angry."), and the title class itself, I was laughing almost nonstop.
It was the last one that really made it, though. I got quite a kick out of Axl's initial horror followed by non-stop griping about sharing a class with Sue, but the final montage, with Axl using all his social skills to save their presentation, put stars in my eyes. I like to think that's pretty much how my brother and I would react to a forgotten project - I'd sit there freaking out and being doomed and he'd network with a hundred or so friends to pull it off. That was really quite a magnificent display, though.
Also, Tumblr seems to be getting a kick out of Sue manhandling Axl in rage, and I have to agree that was one of my favorite parts.
One Kid At A Time: You'd think they should have known enough to do the kids in reverse order of age - that way, once Sue wore them out, then Axl would have gotten out of his "special day" and everybody wins! Although I guess we wouldn't have gotten that delightful father/son paintball bonding experience. Sue's day, though, is the one that prompted this post, because I cannot get over how gorgeous her mom's senior prom dress was. LOOK AT THIS! It's like a Cinderella gown! Add in the unicorn head necklace, and I don't know how you could improve it. (No, Sue. Not with purple wedges.)
I don't know what kind of physics make that dress stay up without slipping on one side or sagging in front (besides personalized costume department tailoring), but it is the prettiest thing I have ever seen.
In related commentary, I don't know what's better: Frankie's secret cheerleader/prom court past, or the fact that this makes Sue decide she has "cheerleader DNA" and therefore she will never, ever stop trying to accomplish the same things.
OH MY GOD, RYAN MURPHY, ENOUGH. MY BRAIN IS NOT PREPARED TO HANDLE THE SHEER VOLUME OF SPOILERS YOU ARE UNLEASHING UPON THE WORLD.